Modern Family Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- 101 Pilot
- 102 The Bicycle Thief
- 103 Come Fly with Me
- 104 The Incident
- 105 Coal Digger
- 106 Run For Your Wife
- 107 En Garde
- 108 Great Expectations
- 109 Fizbo
- 110 Undeck the Halls
- 111 Up All Night
- 112 Not in My House
- 113 Fifteen Percent
- 114 Moon Landing
- 115 My Funky Valentine
- 116 Fears
- 117 Truth Be Told
- 118 Starry Night
- 119 Game Changer
- 120 Benched
- 121 Travels with Scout
- 122 Airport 2010
- 123 Hawaii
- 124 Family Portrait
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
- Season 9
- Season 10
- Season 11
Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.
Starring:
Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Recurring Actors:
Adam DeVine, Nathan Lane, Fred Willard, Shelley Long, Elizabeth Banks, Benjamin Bratt, Chazz Palminteri, Dana Powell, Kevin Daniels, Rob Riggle, Stephanie Beatriz, Christian Barillas.
Original Run: 2009-2020.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Claire in Truth Be Told
Phil: "How about we meet at Le Reve at 7:30?"
Claire: That sounds innocent enough- I mean- drinks with an ex-girlfriend at an intimate French restaurant.
Phil: Honey, you're doing that thing where you say what I want you to say but your tone seems mean.
Claire: Let me guess. Denise isn't married.
Phil: Recently divorced. What's the big deal?
Claire: Come on, Phil. You can't be that naive. Seriously, women in their 30s on the Internet are like- they're like ninjas. They get into their little black outfits and try and sneak their way into your marriage.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Claire in The Closet Case
Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.
Quote from Cameron in Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Gloria in Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
Quote Collections
-
The creative ways Phil Dunphy answers the phone.
12 quotes
-
Quotes from Clive Bixby and Juliana, Phil and Claire's romantic alter egos.
23 quotes
-
“Closets Closets Closets Closets”
Jay Pritchett's tales from decades in the closet industry.
22 quotes
-
A selection of quotes featuring Phil Dunphy's creative, G-rated exclamations and curses.
19 quotes
-
“Cameron Tucker's Tales from the Farm”
Cameron Tucker's tales of growing up on a farm in Missouri.
31 quotes
-
Enjoy a selection of quotes from Halloween episodes of Modern Family.
39 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Alex in Under Pressure
Dr. Clark: And this responsibility, where does it come from?
Alex: I'm not sure. It's just there.
Dr. Clark: So it's an internal pressure.
Alex: Yeah. Kind of. I mean, once you start overachieving, people expect things from you.
Dr. Clark: Like what people?
Alex: You know, the world... Teachers, parents, other kids. It's not all internal. Don't get me wrong. I like the way I'm wired. It's what's going to get me into a good school. It's what makes me who I am.
Dr. Clark: And how is that, being who you are?
Alex: I don't know. Mostly good. A little exhausting. Sometimes hard. I guess there's your answer. It's hard being me.
Dr. Clark: Tell me a little more about your family.
Alex: They're pretty normal, I guess. I'm not like any of them, but that doesn't really bother me.
Dr. Clark: Ever?
Alex: Only when they say things like "Alex, you study too much" or "Don't freak out" or "Go do something fun."
Jay: You know, it's... Thing about babies, you... you fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then... bam... they're gone. But it's okay, because in its place is this... toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler's gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard. And this keeps going on like that, but you never get the chance to miss any of them, 'cause there's always a new kid to take the place of the old. Until they grow up. And then... in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.
Waitress: Jesus.
Jay: Oh, I don't mean to be a bummer. I'm just saying it goes fast. Like the expression... "You never know the last time you pick up your kid."
Quote from Jay in Express Yourself
Waitress: Can I get you anything?
Jay: You know what a Reuben is?
Waitress: Yes.
Jay: No, you don't. This is a Reuben. You grill the bread and the corned beef separately. Now, I said corned beef. There's no vodka in a martini. There's no pastrami in a Reuben. You put 'em together. Then you have 'kraut, Swiss, Russian. Axis, neutral, ally. That's how you remember.
Waitress: Got it. Rodrigo! Number siete!