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‘Message Received’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Modern Family: Message Received

522. Message Received

Aired May 7, 2014

As their wedding day approaches and the expenses pile up, Mitchell and Cameron try to raise some extra money. After Phil and Claire uncover his old answering machine, the kids play a prank on their parents. Meanwhile, Jay, Manny and Gloria try to step outside their comfort zones and try something new.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] I do have something of value: a "Spiderman vs. Doctor Octopus" comic book. Issue number 3, 1963, near-mint condition. It's worth 5 grand. I traded a football for it when I was 9 years old, and my dad was mad because the football was signed by Dan Marino. I said, "Get it signed by Rita Moreno, and I'll keep it."


Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh, no. My nephews are flying in from Tulsa, the big ones.
Mitchell: The pie eaters?
Cameron: That's it. I got to sell my Wyatt Earp.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: This here is a belt buckle once worn by the great Wyatt Earp. My grandpa gave it to me when I was 7 years old, and he said,"Son, this will keep the bad guys away." In my early 20s, I wore it to a cowboys-and-indians disco party. And let's just say it didn't. [giggles]

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Okay, maybe we need to pull back on a few things.
Cameron: Like what?
Mitchell: Uh, the centerpieces?
Cameron: Why even have a wedding?
Mitchell: I don't know, Cam. Because we love and respect each other and we're raising a child together?
Cameron: Maybe we could send un-vitations. Is that a thing?
Mitchell: We've already made a lot of people angry by just being able to get married. Let's not alienate the ones on our side.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: I'm so sorry, but I am sure that Jay can help you two out.
Mitchell: No, no, no, no, no. We want to do this on our own.
Jay: Can I ask you a question? Why are you having such a big thing anyway?
Mitchell: Well, because we're only getting married once.
Jay: I'm just saying, why do you need to make into a spectacle?
Mitchell: A s- A spectacle?
Jay: This could be the universe's way of telling you to bring it down a notch. Invite your family, your friend Pepper, and, what's his name, the... the... the flouncy one? Uh, L'David.
Mitchell: I don't have a flouncy friend named L'David, dad.
Cameron: Do- Do you mean L'Michael or J'Marcus? I'm not sure who you're referring to.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Oh, New Yorker, you've done it again. Jay, check out this cartoon.
Jay: Does it have a talking dog?
Manny: No, it's a commentary-
Jay: I'm out!

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh, no.
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: The Tonys are coming.
Mitchell: Cam, this is exactly why I don't want you watching them. You're already so angry.
Cameron: Not that Tonys. Anthony Lamarque, Botox Tony. They're coming to the wedding. But, seriously, another revival of "Anything Goes"?
Lily: Are we really doing this again?
Mitchell: I'm surprised that they're coming, because when I mentioned the wedding to Tony, he seemed completely disinterested. Oh, the Botox.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Oh, Zima!
Luke: What's Zima?
Phil: Just a party in a bottle. Man, that reminds me of some wild times. [covers Luke's ears] Cranking the Bjork in my Saturn before me and my buddies snuck some "Z" into "Sleepless in Seattle."
Haley: I wish you'd covered my ears for that.

Quote from Phil

Alex: Ooh, Mom. Who's this hottie with his arm around you?
Haley: Cute!
Claire: Oh, that's Bobby Nash, my old boyfriend.
Haley: Why'd you break up with him? For Dad?
Phil: Let's just say he took his eye off the ball and struck out. So I stepped up to the plate and nailed her in the cheap seats.
Claire: Yeah, let's not say that.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Oh, honey, I've got to stop by the drug store. Do you need anything?
Phil: No, thank you, my dear. The Dunphy glands produce all the drugs I need. Except for, uh, foot spray. Could you grab me some of that?
Claire: Sure.

Quote from Phil

Luke: What's this?
Claire: Oh, my gosh. That is your father's answering machine from college.
Luke: God, I sometimes forget how old you guys are.
Phil: [answering machine message] You've reached Phil's world! Party time! Excellent! Schwing!

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