- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- The Chaperone
- The Big Salad
- The Pledge Drive
- The Chinese Woman
- The Couch
- The Gymnast
- The Soup
- The Mom & Pop Store
- The Secretary
- The Race
- The Switch
- The Label Maker
- The Scofflaw
- The Highlights of 100
- The Beard
- The Kiss Hello
- The Doorman
- The Jimmy
- The Doodle
- The Fusilli Jerry
- The Diplomat's Club
- The Face Painter
- The Understudy
- Season 7
- Season 8
- The Foundation
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- The Bizarro Jerry
- The Little Kicks
- The Package
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- The Chicken Roaster
- The Abstinence
- The Andrea Doria
- The Little Jerry
- The Money
- The Comeback
- The Van Buren Boys
- The Susie
- The Pothole
- The English Patient
- The Nap
- The Yada Yada
- The Millenium
- The Muffin Tops
- The Summer of George
- Season 9
The ultimate "show about nothing" follows comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his friends George, Elaine and Kramer.
Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards.
Original Run: 1989-1998.
Quote of the Day
Friday, January 22, 2021
Elaine: No, they just have to get more cops on the force, it's as simple as that.
George: Cops. I don't even care about cops. I wanna see more garbage men. It's much more important. All I wanna see are garbage trucks, garbage cans and garbage men. You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least be clean.
Jerry: I tell you what they should do, they should combine the two jobs. Make it one job, 'cop\garbage man'. I always see cops walking around with nothing to do. Grab a broom! Start sweeping. You sweep, sweep, sweep. Catch a criminal, get right back to sweeping.
Elaine: You should run for mayor.
Jerry: Eh, nobody listens.
George: I still don't see why I can't ask her about my arm.
Elaine: She's a physical therapist. She doesn't want to have to deal with that outside of the office.
George: Why not?
Elaine: Because it is what she does.
George: I love these people! You can't ask them questions. They're so mentally gifted that we mustn't disturb the delicate genius unless it's in the confines of an office! When huge sums of money are involved, then the delicate genius can be disturbed!
Elaine: George, you got a little something, right here.
George: [wiping face] These people think they're so important!
Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr. Lippman: So you just eat the tops?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.
Jerry: So we're going to make the post office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer: It's a write-off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write-off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Cosmo Kramer's multiple aliases: professor Peter Van Nostrand, actor Martin Van Nostrand, Doctor Van Nostrand, and industrialist H.E. Pennypacker.
Art Vandelay is a fictitious person invented by George who often features in his lies.
Kramer: You know, Frank can't be too comfortable with those things clanging around. He should wear something for support.
George: You mean like a bra?
Kramer: A bra is for ladies. I'm talking about a support undergarment specifically designed for men.
Jerry: Boy, that brain never stops working, does it?
Kramer: I tell you, I'm gonna go noodle with this.
Elaine: Which one is he?
George: That's him over there. The one that looks like a blowfish.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. I see him.
George: Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing this.
Elaine: Why pass up the opportunity to go to prison?
George: This is by far the most exciting thing I've ever done.
Elaine: Yeah. It is kind of cool.
George: First time in my life I've ever gotten back at someone.
Elaine: I can't believe we're doing this. This is the kind of thing they do in the movies.
George: That's exactly what I told Jerry!