TV Quotes

Phil: [aside to camera] Why am I so intent on helping Andy? I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film, and now I don't have to do it by myself.

Mitchell: No, you have no idea what it feels like to be fired.
Cameron: Yes, I do. I've been fired. Everyone has.
Mitchell: Not me.
Cameron: Never?
Mitchell: No. Nope, I've always been very good at what I do.
Cameron: So then maybe what you're feeling is a little insecure about your work for the first time.
Mitchell: That's hogwash.
Cameron: As someone who's seen actual hogwash, I can assure you that it's not.

Dylan: Now that they don't test on animals, I've made extra money doing clinical trials at work. The hours are long, but the mazes are fun.

Alex: Hey. You sure you don't wanna play "The Hunger Games" with all of us?
Haley: My whole life is a hunger game. Why do you think I'm so mean to you?

Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.

Phil: Thank you all for being here on this happy occasion. They say the best marriages contain just a little bit of magic. Believe me. I know. We're gathered here today to join two amazing people. Cameron, do you take Mitchell to be your husband?
Cameron: I do.
Phil: Cameron, would you please place this ring on Mitchell's finger? Mitchell, do you take Cameron to be your husband?
Mitchell: I do.
Phil: Then by the powers vested in me by the state of California, I am privileged to pronounce you spouses for life. You may now kiss your husband.

Claire: Luke to the 14th, Haley gets a day there.
Phil: Come on. That's it, Beautiful Mind. Harness that crazy into something positive.
Claire: Shh! If I can get Alex to move her Habitat for Humanity from Oklahoma to Sacramento and Luke to move his camp session, they will both overlap with Haley's vacation, and I just bought us seven kid-free days.
Phil: Witchcraft!
Claire: Yes.