Modern Family Quote of the Day

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Quote from Phil in Stand By Your Man

Phil: The fight just gets my boys in the door. What's gonna knock them out is when I wow them with all the amazing things I've lived through.
Claire: Snooze.
Phil: Not the way I do it. I've updated the lyrics to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."
Claire: Huh.
Phil: It's not everyone who can rhyme "Bronco chase" with "Melrose Place." I still can't find any '90s thing that rhymes with "Michael Bay."
Claire: Dr. Dre, Ellen's gay, Y2K...
Phil: Don't you have someplace to be? It's boys' night, no chicks allowed.
Claire: Kid 'N Play, "Groundhog Day," Tammy Faye...


Recent Quotes

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Quote from Jay in The Cover-Up

Manny: You two need each other. It's what drives you.
Earl: The kid is right. Beating you is half the reason I get out of bed. Locking horns. We made each other better than I ever thought we could be.
Jay: Pushed each other to greatness.
Earl: We touched the sky.
Manny: We're talking about closets here, right?
Jay: Oh, I'm sorry, you mean the sanctuary where a man dons his armor in the morning and takes stock of the battle at night?!
Earl: The one thing we all have in common; presidents to postmen, tycoons to teachers, from sea to shining sea!
Manny: This is taking a weird turn.

Friday, February 23, 2024

Quote from Jay in Legacy

Joe: Ooh, can I get that dog? I'll do 50 hours of chores. No, a hundred.
Jay: Whoa. Sales lesson number one... never look desperate in a negotiation. No emotion. Think of your cousin Lily.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Quote from Jay in Finale Part 1

Jay: Ta-da! [all gasp] He's an old-time barkeep. Now, check it out. He's a big guy, like Cam, and he's got red hair, like you!
Mitchell: Dad! This is exactly what we needed... a little whimsy! I love it!
Gloria: No, you don't. Other gays, tell him. [all speak supportively]
Jay: We're gonna have so much fun with this guy. We can throw a-an Uncle Sam hat on him for the 4th of July, a pilgrim hat for Thanksgiving.
Mitchell: Or a rainbow wig for... for Pride.
Jay: Well, it's a piece of art. I don't think you want to make it silly.
Mitchell: So, does this, uh, big fella have a name?
Jay: Sure does. Since he's a combo of Cam and Mitch, he's Kitsch.

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Quote from Cameron in Strangers in the Night

Cameron: Okay, okay, go around the back.
Mitchell: What am I doing? What am I doing?
Cameron: We'll get this underneath her. Once, I helped a sow give birth to nine baby piglets on our living room floor. Didn't get a drop of nothin' on the linoleum.
Mitchell: We're gonna get back to why the sow was in the living room.
Cameron: Lady Di's wedding. It was beautiful.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Quote from Lily in First Days

Lily: [answering phone] Daddy's office. You sound like a little girl. [hangs up]

Monday, February 19, 2024

Quote from Jay in Brushes with Celebrity

Lawyer: Do you have any experience with law enforcement?
Jay: Big time. I-I don't trust, uh, cops. Also, I despise robbery victims. They're the real criminals for clogging up our court system.
Judge: Nice try, Juror 3.
Jay: What about economic hardship? The last time I missed work, the California closet market collapsed. Some people think that caused the L.A. Riots.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, February 26, 2024

A quote from Phil in the episode Royal Visit.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

A quote from Cameron in the episode Pool Party.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

A quote from Cameron in the episode Legacy.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

A quote from Sonia in the episode Fulgencio.

Friday, March 1, 2024

A quote from Jay in the episode Goodnight, Gracie.