Modern Family Quote of the Day

Sunday, May 29, 2022

Quote from Joe in Frank's Wedding

Manny: I guess I can go out on the roof and check for monster slobber.
Joe: Okay.
Gloria: No! If he falls from the roof and dies, his ghost will haunt you forever.
Joe: Oh, boy. I do not need a ghost.


Recent Quotes

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Quote from Jay in Connection Lost

Jay: [answering FaceTime] Hello. Can you see me?
Claire: Thumb, Dad.
Jay: [groans] The minute they got rid of rotary phones everything went to hell.

Friday, May 27, 2022

Quote from Gloria in New Year's Eve

Gloria: Oh, my God. A classic Rolls Corniche. I have been in love with this car my whole life. In my village, if you didn't drive one of these, you couldn't call yourself a drug lord.
Billy Dee Williams: Would you like to drive it?
Gloria: Does the bear sit in the woods?
Jay: Classic Charo.

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Quote from Alex in After the Fire

Alex: Problem here, boys?
Luke: These geeks won't give us back our helicopter that we took from Reuben.
Alex: Is that right, Abraham?
Boy: Oh, my God. She knows your name.
Alex: Helicopter, please.
Abraham: I love you.
Haley: What just happened?
Alex: You have your fans, I have mine. Some day, your fans are going to work for my fans.

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Quote from Sal in The Wedding (Part 1)

Sal: Cam, Mitch, Peps, this guy. This is Eddie, my baby daddy.
Cameron: So, why didn't you tell us?
Sal: Oh, you know, we just wanted to get through that first trimester before we let the cat out of the bag.
Pepper: When was that last summer?
Mitchell: So, y-you're you're how far along now?
Eddie: About four months. Right, honey?
Sal: Four months. Yep. Yeah. Just about the exact amount of time Eddie and I have been together.
Ronaldo: I don't understand. Four is this many, yes?
Pepper: Si.

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Quote from Cameron in Putting Down Roots

Mitchell: I guess w-when I look at things from your point of view, I... I made a promise. When your dad needs you to take over the farm, I'm in.
Cameron: Mitchell, that means so much to me, and you're gonna love it. The fresh air, and there's no traffic. Oh, and with a second lawyer in town, we could reopen the courthouse. H-Have you ever milked a goat? Have you ever had fresh milk right from the spigot? Oh, unbelievable. You do have to be careful of snakes and mice and rats. There's a ton of field mice. They scare me. One ran up my sleeve one time when I was a kid.

Monday, May 23, 2022

Quote from Jay in Farm Strong

Alex: Congratulations. You officially beat me in "Words with Friends."
Jay: Better luck next time, kid.
Alex: Okay, I have to ask. Did you cheat? Is that how you won?
Jay: I never took you for a sore loser.
Alex: That's not an answer.
Jay: Listen, one day you might be the smartest person in this family, but today is not that day. So tread lightly before you assiduously malign the veracity of my etymological prowess. Jay Pritchett out. [drops phone]
Alex: You broke your phone, smarty-pants.
Jay: Damn it!

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, May 30, 2022

A quote from Cameron in the episode Strangers in the Night.

Tuesday, May 31, 2022

A quote from Phil in the episode Spring-A-Ding-Fling.

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

A quote from Cameron in the episode Airport 2010.

Thursday, June 2, 2022

A quote from Luke in the episode When a Tree Falls.

Friday, June 3, 2022

A quote from Haley in the episode Do Not Push.