Modern Family Quote of the Day

Saturday, February 4, 2023

Quote from Cameron in The Last Christmas

Cameron: See, this is why I kept it a secret. Here I was, worried about you all ruining Christmas, and... now I've done it. I'm sorry, everyone.
Manny: You have no reason to be sorry.
Cameron: Yes, I do. I break up families. I'm Liz Taylor.
Mitchell: Why is it never a man?

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Recent Quotes

Friday, February 3, 2023

Quote from Phil in Airport 2010

Phil: [aside to camera] If you show enough houses, you learn all the tricks. Every Realtor is just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere, but not me. I'm completely clueless.

Thursday, February 2, 2023

Quote from Alex in Finding Fizbo

Alex: 110 pages? What time are we supposed to get out of here?
Claire: Oh, honey, you got a hot date tonight?
Haley: Mom, don't be mean. Ignore her.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: I actually am in a relationship, but I've been hiding it from everybody because I have once again chosen somebody that is completely inappropriate. It's this older guy Ben. He works for my mother, and he lives with his mother. I'm like a moth to a flame if the flame is an underachieving man-child with a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his butt.

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Quote from Cameron in Punkin Chunkin

Cameron: So the fog was rolling in over the mountains like an ominous blanket as we readied the giant slingshot. You know, Lorna, the pastor's daughter, she was nervous because like I said, it was after curfew. She was a goody two-shoe. Only pastor's daughter I ever met that was. So we finally launch the pumpkin, and it sails through the air, goalpost to goalpost. Past the end zone, into the parking lot, through the open roof of Lorna's dad's car. I turn to Cody and I say, "Now what are the chances of that landing there?" He says, "Where?" And I say "The sunroof of a preacher man." [silence]
Mitchell: Wah-wah.

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Quote from Gloria in Ringmaster Keifth

Gloria: The money has to be here somewhere. This is all the stuff from when we first moved in together.
Jay: Why do we have a box of doll heads?
Gloria: Oh, I guess you think it's a coincidence that we have never had evil spirits in this house.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Quote from Phil in Party Crasher

Claire: He's old. She's young. It's gross.
Phil: Honey, nothing's happening. Young people seek out older mentors all the time. When I was 17, I was really close with my friend Stacy's mom. Mrs. Robinson was a former cheerleader, so she knew just how to massage my legs after practice. She had her own homemade bengay that didn't burn no matter where she rubbed it on me. If I had the chance to go over there, I never missed an opportunity.
Claire: I think maybe you did.

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Quote from Claire in The Closet Case

Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.

Upcoming Quotes

Sunday, February 5, 2023

A quote from Pam in the episode Catch of the Day.

Monday, February 6, 2023

A quote from Jay in the episode Family Portrait.

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

A quote from Cameron in the episode The Cover-Up.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

A quote from Phil in the episode After the Fire.

Thursday, February 9, 2023

A quote from Jay in the episode Suddenly, Last Summer.