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Popular Quotes

Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!


Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Gloria Delgado in Modern Family episode Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Schmidt in New Girl episode Shark

Jess: So you're taking her out to dinner? That's your plan?
Schmidt: I'm intoxicating a single, overworked public official with the pleasure of my company. Which I will then parlay into getting her to fix our problem. Are my sleeves even? This is ridiculous. You know, my new tailor sews like an army medic. I'm not being overdramatic when I say that I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than wear something off the rack.

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode The Job

David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.

Quote from Schmidt in New Girl episode Shark

Schmidt: Can I try on your uniform?
Winston: No, this uniform is for official police business.
[cut to Schmidt wearing Winston's uniform:]
Jess: [whoops] Yeah.
Winston: Looking good, man.
Schmidt: Yeah. We got a code Jewish, code Jewish.
Winston: You under "ch'arrest."

Quote from Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother episode Twelve Horny Women

Barney: It is super-weird between us, and I don't want it to be.
Robin: Me, neither.
Barney: So let me just say this. I'm done. You don't have to worry anymore.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise... I'm done making a fool of myself.
Robin: Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself.
Barney: It's okay. It's okay. I want it to be okay. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna get us two drinks, come back and comment on the likely size and color of the nipples on that redhead at the bar, with the big, dark nipples. And you're gonna be grossed out, but you're gonna laugh a little anyway, and then you'll tell a funny story about "that bitch Patrice" at work, but neither one of us are gonna say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Good to see you!" Because it really will be good to see you. Think we can swing that?
Robin: Yeah, I do.
Barney: Badass.
Robin: [smiles] Huh.

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Launch Party

Michael Scott: Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
Kevin: Wait. Alfredo's pizza cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Michael Scott: Same thing. [everyone groans] You know what, I don't understand when you all talk at the same time!
Kevin: Oscar, talk to him.
Oscar: Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. Which one did you order from?
Michael Scott: Pizza by Alfredo. [everyone groans] All right, you know what? Okay, okay. What is better, a medium amount of good pizza, or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
All: A medium amount of good pizza.

Latest Updates

The Goldbergs: Season 8 Quotes

The Goldbergs: Season 8 Quotes

We have added quotes from the eighth season of the ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica, Murray and Pops.

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Superstore Quotes

Superstore Quotes

We have added over 4,600 quotes from the NBC sitcom Superstore, which ran from 2015 to 2021. The show followed the employees of a big-box chain store, Cloud 9, in St. Louis, Missouri. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Amy, Jonah, Dina, Mateo, Garrett, Cheyenne, Glenn and Sandra.

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Derry Girls: Season 3 Quotes

Derry Girls: Season 3 Quotes

We have added quotes from the third and final season of Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.

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That '70s Show Quotes

That '70s Show Quotes

We have added over 5,000 quotes from That '70s Show, the FOX sitcom which ran from 1998 to 2006. The series follows a group of friends in their late teens during the final years of the 1970s. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Eric, Jackie, Kelso, Hyde, Donna, Fez, Kitty, Red and Bob.

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Malcolm in the Middle Quotes

Malcolm in the Middle Quotes

We have added over 4,000 quotes from the 2000s sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. The series, about a boy genius from a dysfunctional family who is sent to his school's gifted program, aired from 2000 to 2006 on FOX. The show starred Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Justin Berfield and Erik Per Sullivan. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Malcolm, Lois, Hal, Francis, Reese and Dewey.

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