- Friends 1994-2004 9,800 quotes
- The Office 2005-2013 7,900 quotes
- Schitt's Creek 2015-2020 3,200 quotes
- The Golden Girls 1985-1992 6,100 quotes
- Modern Family 2009-2020 10,400 quotes Season 11 just added
- Frasier 1993-2004 9,200 quotes
- How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014 7,000 quotes
- Scrubs 2001-2010 6,600 quotes
- Parks and Recreation 2009-2015 5,300 quotes
- Seinfeld 1989-1998 6,100 quotes Just Added
- The Goldbergs 2013- 4,800 quotes
- Boy Meets World 1993-2000 1,200 quotes
- The Big Bang Theory 2007-2019 4,900 quotes
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine 2013- 2,100 quotes
- Young Sheldon 2017- 900 quotes
- 15 shows
- 221 characters
- 2,654 episodes
- 85,176 quotes
Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Rachel: And hey, just so you know. It's not that common. It doesn't happen to every guy. And it is a big deal!
Chandler: I knew it!
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Alexis: Excuse me, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm single. The singles market is very lucrative. Did you know, that there's a small town in Ireland that hosts a singles week every year, and it's become so popular, that they're able to subsidize their entirely yearly budget, just on profits?
Moira: It's a valiant first effort, Alexis, it is. But darling, do keep those wheels turning! As the Irish like to say, [Irish accent] it's a cinch to mash the Murphy where there's love.
Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.
Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional Rose. And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot, that used to be a chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh, okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?
Moira: Stevie! Either a flock of poultry has delivered its ova mid-flight upon our car, or I've become the victim of a vandalization!
Stevie: Oh wow. Um... you sure it's for you, Mrs. Rose? Because that's a family car, and I can think of a handful of people who'd wanna egg David.
Moira: You're sweet, dear, but I know of what I speak. Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.
Stevie: Yeah, I can't imagine.
Moira: After my first centerfold with Soap Opera Digest, a deranged fan deposited locks of hair into my glove compartment. And now my return to prominence has painted another giant bulls-eye on my thorax!
Stevie: Um, I could give you this bucket of soap.
Moira: No! You never tamper with a crime scene. I'll have to go to council. Get in please, Stevie. As of now, you are my star witness. And sit low, no point endangering both our lives.
A collection of quotes about isolation, quarantine and personal hygiene from shows including Friends, Schitt's Creek, Frasier, The Office, The Golden Girls, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Young Sheldon.
We have added quotes from the final season of Modern Family, which wrapped up earlier this year after eleven seasons on air. Check out quotes from Jay, Gloria, Manny, Joe, Phil, Claire, Haley, Alex, Luke, Mitchell, Cameron and Lily as we bid farewell to Modern Family.Check out quotes from Season 11 of Modern Family
We have added over 6,000 quotes from the hit sitcom Seinfeld, which ran from 1989 to 1998. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, as they deal with low-talkers, close-talkers, double-dippers, re-gifters, Soup Nazis, anti-Dentites, shrinkage, and yada yada yada.Find your favorite quotes from Seinfeld
We have added quotes from the latest season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Catch up with your favorite lines from Jake, Amy, Charles, Rosa, Sergeant Jeffords, Captain Holt, Hitchcock and Scully in the show's seventh season.Check out quotes from Season 7 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Ahead of the return of Young Sheldon for its fourth season later this year, we have added over 300 quotes from the show's third season. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Sheldon, Mary, George Sr., George Jr., Missy, Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis.Check out quotes from Young Sheldon: Season 3
We have added over 5,000 quotes from Parks and Recreation, which ran for seven seasons on NBC from 2009 to 2015. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Leslie Knope, Ann, Tom, Ron Swanson, Andy, April, Chris, Ben, Jerry and Donna.Check out quotes from Parks and Recreation