- Friends 1994-2004
- The Office 2005-2013
- Schitt's Creek 2015-2020
- The Golden Girls 1985-1992
- Modern Family 2009-2020
- Seinfeld 1989-1998
- New Girl 2011-2018
- Frasier 1993-2004
- Parks and Recreation 2009-2015
- How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014
- The Goldbergs 2013-
- Scrubs 2001-2010
- Everybody Loves Raymond 1996-2005
- Monk 2001-2009
- Derry Girls 2018-
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1990-1996
- Boy Meets World 1993-2000
- The Big Bang Theory 2007-2019
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine 2013-
- Young Sheldon 2017-
- Cheers 1982-1993 Just Added
- 21 shows
- 299 characters
- 3,585 episodes
- 115,432 quotes
Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot, that used to be a chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh, okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?
Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.
Barney: It is super-weird between us, and I don't want it to be.
Robin: Me, neither.
Barney: So let me just say this. I'm done. You don't have to worry anymore.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise... I'm done making a fool of myself.
Robin: Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself.
Barney: It's okay. It's okay. I want it to be okay. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna get us two drinks, come back and comment on the likely size and color of the nipples on that redhead at the bar, with the big, dark nipples. And you're gonna be grossed out, but you're gonna laugh a little anyway, and then you'll tell a funny story about "that bitch Patrice" at work, but neither one of us are gonna say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Good to see you!" Because it really will be good to see you. Think we can swing that?
Robin: Yeah, I do.
Robin: [smiles] Huh.
A collection of quotes about isolation, quarantine and personal hygiene from shows including Friends, Schitt's Creek, Frasier, The Office, The Golden Girls, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Young Sheldon.
We have added over 8,800 quotes from the classic '80s sitcom, Cheers, which focuses on a Boston bar of the same name. The series, which ran for eleven season on NBC, starred Ted Danson, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman, John Ratzenberger, George Wendt, Kelsey Grammer, Woody Harrelson, Nicholas Colasanto and Bebe Neuwirth. Check out the best quotes from Sam, Diane, Rebecca, Carla, Cliff, Norm, Frasier, Woody, Coach and Lilith.Find your favorite quotes from Cheers
We have added over 4,000 quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, which ran from 1990 to 1996 on NBC and fmade Will Smith a household name. Look back at your favorite quotes from Will, Uncle Phil, Aunt Viv, Hilary, Carlton, Ashley and Geoffrey.Check out quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
We have added quotes from the hit U.K. comedy Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.Check out quotes from Derry Girls
We have added quotes from the seventh season of the hit ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. Catch up with your favorite lines from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica, Murray and Pops.Check out quotes from Season 7 of The Goldbergs
We have added over 5,400 quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond, the hit sitcom which ran from 1996 to 2005 and starred Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Brad Garrett, Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Barone family: Ray, Debra, Robert, Marie and Frank.Find your favorite quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond