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Popular Quotes

Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!


Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Gloria Delgado in Modern Family episode Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother episode Twelve Horny Women

Barney: It is super-weird between us, and I don't want it to be.
Robin: Me, neither.
Barney: So let me just say this. I'm done. You don't have to worry anymore.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise... I'm done making a fool of myself.
Robin: Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself.
Barney: It's okay. It's okay. I want it to be okay. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna get us two drinks, come back and comment on the likely size and color of the nipples on that redhead at the bar, with the big, dark nipples. And you're gonna be grossed out, but you're gonna laugh a little anyway, and then you'll tell a funny story about "that bitch Patrice" at work, but neither one of us are gonna say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Good to see you!" Because it really will be good to see you. Think we can swing that?
Robin: Yeah, I do.
Barney: Badass.
Robin: [smiles] Huh.

Quote from Schmidt in New Girl episode LAXMas

Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Cece: Okay.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.

Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One Where Ross Got High

Rachel: Look at it. Isn't it beautiful?
Ross: Yeah. What is it?
Rachel: It's a trifle. It's got all these layers. First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little bit more custard, then bananas and then I just put whipped cream on top.
Ross: What was the one right before bananas?
Rachel: The beef. Yeah, that was weird to me too. But then, you know, I thought, "Well, there's minced meat pie." I mean, that's an English dessert. These people just put very strange things in their food, you know.

Quote from Dr. Frasier Crane in Frasier episode Daphne Hates Sherry

Frasier: Please, would you two spare me the single entendre this morning? I'm trying to avoid getting sick.
Sherry: Well there's nothing like one of mama's big biscuits if you're fighting something off.
Frasier: Yes, I'm sure with good aim it could bring down an elk.

Quote from Paul Genzlinger in New Girl episode Thanksgiving

Jess: Welcome to our home.
Paul: Thank you. Hey.
Jess: [sings] It ain't so quirky to eat a lot of turkey On this Thanksgiving Day-ay-ay.
Paul: My belly's wanting something A pie made out of pumpkin In every gobble-gobble way-ay-ay. [both snicker; talks] I didn't know you were going back to back. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nick: Oh, my God, there's two of them.

Latest Updates

The Wonder Years Quotes

The Wonder Years Quotes

We have added quotes from the first season of ABC's The Wonder Years, inspired by the classic '80s series of the same name. The Wonder Years looks back at the life of a Black middle-class family in Montgomery, Alabama in the late '60s, as seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old Dean Williams. The show is narrated by Dean's adult self, voiced by Don Cheadle.The series stars Elisha "EJ" Williams, Dulé Hill, Saycon Sengbloh, Laura Kariuki, Julian Lerner, Amari O'Neil and Milan Ray.

Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Williams family: Dean, Bill, Lillian and Kim, along with Dean's friends Brad, Cory and Keisa.

Check out quotes from The Wonder Years

Abbott Elementary Quotes

Abbott Elementary Quotes

We have just added quotes from the first season of Abbott Elementary, the hit new ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked, under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.

Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Willard R. Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.

Find your favorite quotes from Abbott Elementary

The Goldbergs: Season 8 Quotes

The Goldbergs: Season 8 Quotes

We have added quotes from the eighth season of the ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica, Murray and Pops.

Check out quotes from The Goldbergs

Superstore Quotes

Superstore Quotes

We have added over 4,600 quotes from the NBC sitcom Superstore, which ran from 2015 to 2021. The show followed the employees of a big-box chain store, Cloud 9, in St. Louis, Missouri. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Amy, Jonah, Dina, Mateo, Garrett, Cheyenne, Glenn and Sandra.

Find your favorite quotes from Superstore

Derry Girls: Season 3 Quotes

Derry Girls: Season 3 Quotes

We have added quotes from the third and final season of Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.

Check out quotes from Derry Girls