Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Chandler: How can I not be upset? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out she wanted you first.
Joey: Yeah, for like a half an hour one night. Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life. We look at you and we see you together, and it just it fits, you know? And you just know it's gonna last forever.
Chandler: That's what you should say.
Joey: What?
Chandler: When you're marrying us, that's what you should say.
Joey: Really? I could do it?
Chandler: I'd love you to do it.
Chandler: But those are the words. Those exact words.
Joey: Well, I don't remember exactly but it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.

Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.

Hal: Malcolm, where have you been? You got to get in on this.
Malcolm: Dad... I want skating lessons.
Hal: Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?
Malcolm: I know.
Hal: This means total commitment. Once you begin the path, there is no leaving the path. Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean really ready?
Malcolm: I-I guess so.
Hal: Neat. We'll start tomorrow. Come on, dig in before they harden.

Chandler: Solid effort. Solid effort.
Monica: Oh, so who won?
Phoebe: Green Bay.
Chandler: Detroit.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, the Lions technically won. But it was a moral victory for the Green Bay ... Mermen.

Michael Scott: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself.
Jim: That's good.
Michael Scott: I wanna show you something. A lot of people in the room, you need more space voila. Right into the wall.
Jim: Wow.
Michael Scott: Sometimes, I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV.

Ross: How sad are we?
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Chandler: You know what? We're not sad. We're not sad. We're just not 21 anymore. You know? I'm 29 years old, damn it! I want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch TV and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.