- The Office 2005-2013
- Friends 1994-2004
- Seinfeld 1989-1998
- New Girl 2011-2018
- The Golden Girls 1985-1992
- Schitt's Creek 2015-2020
- Modern Family 2009-2020
- How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014
- Derry Girls 2018-2021
- Parks and Recreation 2009-2015
- Frasier 1993-2004
- Everybody Loves Raymond 1996-2005
- Gilmore Girls 2000-2007
- Cheers 1982-1993
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1990-1996
- Malcolm in the Middle 2000-2006
- That '70s Show 1998-2006
- Everybody Hates Chris 2005-2009
- The Good Place 2016-2020
- Home Improvement 1991-1999
- Scrubs 2001-2010
- Monk 2001-2009
- The Middle 2009-2018
- Arrested Development 2003-2006, 2013-2019
- 3rd Rock from the Sun 1996-2001
- The Goldbergs 2013-
- Boy Meets World 1993-2000
- Superstore 2015-2021 COMING SOON
- 27 shows
- 416 characters
- 4,388 episodes
- 150,600 quotes
Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
[Jim arrives for work wearing glasses, a side-parting hair cut, and a pale yellow shirt:]
Jim: It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question, what kind of bear is best?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.
Jim: Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight K. Schrute: Bears do not- What is going on? What are you doing?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble and that's a grand total of $11.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!
Hal: Malcolm, where have you been? You got to get in on this.
Malcolm: Dad... I want skating lessons.
Hal: Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?
Malcolm: I know.
Hal: This means total commitment. Once you begin the path, there is no leaving the path. Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean really ready?
Malcolm: I-I guess so.
Hal: Neat. We'll start tomorrow. Come on, dig in before they harden.
Barney: It is super-weird between us, and I don't want it to be.
Robin: Me, neither.
Barney: So let me just say this. I'm done. You don't have to worry anymore.
Robin: What do you mean?
Barney: I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise... I'm done making a fool of myself.
Robin: Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself.
Barney: It's okay. It's okay. I want it to be okay. So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna get us two drinks, come back and comment on the likely size and color of the nipples on that redhead at the bar, with the big, dark nipples. And you're gonna be grossed out, but you're gonna laugh a little anyway, and then you'll tell a funny story about "that bitch Patrice" at work, but neither one of us are gonna say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Good to see you!" Because it really will be good to see you. Think we can swing that?
Robin: Yeah, I do.
Robin: [smiles] Huh.
David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Johnny: You know, all things considered Moira I'd say we have a couple of pretty great kids.
Moira: Mmm-hmm. They say it's through our children that we stay young. But I haven't seen much effort on their part.
Robert: Jim, I told Andy to come in, and yet he is still not in. By contrast, Nellie Bertram saw a vacuum and filled it. To make no mention of her business experience or her relationship with Jo Bennett, my boss.
Robert: Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Jim: Oh, god, nature, please.
Robert: When two animals are having sex, one of them is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua- This isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor.
Jim: Was that not the-
Robert: All life is sex. And all sex is competition.
Robert: And there are no rules to that game. That wasn't so perverted, now was it?
Jim: Was that it? No, that wasn't bad.
We have added quotes from the third and final season of Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.
We have added over 5,000 quotes from That '70s Show, the FOX sitcom which ran from 1998 to 2006. The series follows a group of friends in their late teens during the final years of the 1970s. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Eric, Jackie, Kelso, Hyde, Donna, Fez, Kitty, Red and Bob.
We have added over 4,000 quotes from the 2000s sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. The series, about a boy genius from a dysfunctional family who is sent to his school's gifted program, aired from 2000 to 2006 on FOX. The show starred Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Justin Berfield and Erik Per Sullivan. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Malcolm, Lois, Hal, Francis, Reese and Dewey.
We have added over 4,000 quotes from the '90s sitcom 3rd Rock From the Sun. The series, about a group of aliens who land in Ohio and pose as an American family to study humans, starred John Lithgow, Kristen Johnston, French Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Curtin, Wayne Knight, Simbi Khali, and Elmarie Wendel. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Dick, Sally, Harry, Tommy, Mary, Nina, and Mrs. Dubcek.
We have added quotes from the cult favorite Arrested Development, which ran for three seasons on FOX from 2003 to 2006 before Netflix revived the show for another two seasons in 2013 and 2018/19. Catch up with the best quotes from the Bluth family: Michael, Lindsay, Gob, George Michael, Maeby, Buster, Tobias, George Sr. and Lucille.