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The Office
2005-2013
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Friends
1994-2004
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Seinfeld
1989-1998
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New Girl
2011-2018
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The Golden Girls
1985-1992
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Schitt's Creek
2015-2020
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Modern Family
2009-2020
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How I Met Your Mother
2005-2014
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Derry Girls
2018-2021
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Parks and Recreation
2009-2015
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Frasier
1993-2004
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Everybody Loves Raymond
1996-2005
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Gilmore Girls
2000-2007
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Cheers
1982-1993
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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
1990-1996
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Malcolm in the Middle
2000-2006
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That '70s Show
1998-2006
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Everybody Hates Chris
2005-2009
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The Good Place
2016-2020
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Home Improvement
1991-1999
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Scrubs
2001-2010
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Monk
2001-2009
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The Middle
2009-2018
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Arrested Development
2003-2006, 2013-2019
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3rd Rock from the Sun
1996-2001
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The Goldbergs
2013-
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Boy Meets World
1993-2000
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Superstore
2015-2021
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Abbott Elementary
2021-
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The Wonder Years
2021-
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The Big Bang Theory
2007-2019
The Big Bang Theory Fan Site
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine
2013-2021
TheNineNine.com
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Young Sheldon
2017-
Young-Sheldon.com
- 30 shows
- 452 characters
- 4,580 episodes
- 157,196 quotes
Popular Quotes
Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls episode Hey, Look Me Over
Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?
Trending Quotes
Quote from Jay Pritchett in Modern Family episode Spuds
Jay: You know, it's... Thing about babies, you... you fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then... bam... they're gone. But it's okay, because in its place is this... toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler's gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard. And this keeps going on like that, but you never get the chance to miss any of them, 'cause there's always a new kid to take the place of the old. Until they grow up. And then... in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.
Waitress: Jesus.
Jay: Oh, I don't mean to be a bummer. I'm just saying it goes fast. Like the expression... "You never know the last time you pick up your kid."
Quote from Hal in Malcolm in the Middle episode Rollerskates
Hal: Malcolm, where have you been? You got to get in on this.
Malcolm: Dad... I want skating lessons.
Hal: Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?
Malcolm: I know.
Hal: This means total commitment. Once you begin the path, there is no leaving the path. Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean really ready?
Malcolm: I-I guess so.
Hal: Neat. We'll start tomorrow. Come on, dig in before they harden.
Quote from Sophia Petrillo in The Golden Girls episode Rose's Big Adventure
Blanche: I don't believe it.
Dorothy: This is terrible.
Rose: Well, I'll admit, it's a little drab, but with some plants and nice...
Dorothy: It's a garage, you twit! Ma, how did this happen?
Sophia: [Italian]
Vincenzo: [Italian]
Sophia [Italian] It was a slight misunderstanding. You see, in Sicily, every region has its own dialect. Actually, every town has its own dialect. Actually, every household has its own dialect. This also explains why the Italian army is as effective as a Jamaican bobsled team.
Quote from David Rose in Schitt's Creek episode The Dress
Stevie: I am a single woman driving way out of town to meet a guy I don't know very well!
David: Well...
Stevie: Once he shows up I'm sure you can still go to the botanical gardens.
David: I'm not going to the botanical gardens by myself. What, am I gonna walk around, and admire the cherry blossoms alone, like some pervert? So if you're gonna meet this guy there, then where am I staying? I don't do couches!
Stevie: I got you a separate room.
David: A separate room, okay. So this has all been premeditated, then. You know what, I hope, for your sake, that they have cherry blossoms in prison.
Quote from Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls episode Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding?
Blanche: I want to talk to you, Dorothy. Listen, I know this isn't easy for you, so I'm gonna let you in on a sorority secret that was passed on to me at Miss MacGyver's Finishing School. Now, whenever you feel you're about to lose control, just take my hand and give it a little squeeze. I guarantee you'll feel 100% better.
Dorothy: And that's the big secret?
Blanche: Oh, no! The big secret was that Miss MacGyver and Miss McKinney were sharing a one-bedroom apartment off campus.
Dorothy: Oh, will you..!
Latest Updates
The Wonder Years Quotes

We have added quotes from the first season of ABC's The Wonder Years, inspired by the classic '80s series of the same name. The Wonder Years looks back at the life of a Black middle-class family in Montgomery, Alabama in the late '60s, as seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old Dean Williams. The show is narrated by Dean's adult self, voiced by Don Cheadle.The series stars Elisha "EJ" Williams, Dulé Hill, Saycon Sengbloh, Laura Kariuki, Julian Lerner, Amari O'Neil and Milan Ray.
Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Williams family: Dean, Bill, Lillian and Kim, along with Dean's friends Brad, Cory and Keisa.
Abbott Elementary Quotes

We have just added quotes from the first season of Abbott Elementary, the hit new ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked, under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.
Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Willard R. Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.
The Goldbergs: Season 8 Quotes

We have added quotes from the eighth season of the ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica, Murray and Pops.
Superstore Quotes

We have added over 4,600 quotes from the NBC sitcom Superstore, which ran from 2015 to 2021. The show followed the employees of a big-box chain store, Cloud 9, in St. Louis, Missouri. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Amy, Jonah, Dina, Mateo, Garrett, Cheyenne, Glenn and Sandra.
Derry Girls: Season 3 Quotes

We have added quotes from the third and final season of Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.