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Popular Quotes

Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!

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Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls episode Hey, Look Me Over

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed".
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Trending Quotes

Quote from Jay Pritchett in Modern Family episode Spuds

Jay: You know, it's... Thing about babies, you... you fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then... bam... they're gone. But it's okay, because in its place is this... toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler's gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard. And this keeps going on like that, but you never get the chance to miss any of them, 'cause there's always a new kid to take the place of the old. Until they grow up. And then... in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.
Waitress: Jesus.
Jay: Oh, I don't mean to be a bummer. I'm just saying it goes fast. Like the expression... "You never know the last time you pick up your kid."

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode The Job

David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.

Quote from Stanley Hudson in The Office episode Did I Stutter?

Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson, you are fired.
Stanley: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: I am serious. We are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.
Stanley: You're firing me over three words? Have you lost your mind? Do you think I'm gonna let you do this to me? I've watched you screw up this office for ten years, and I'm filing a lawsuit, and I'm gonna tell them about every stupid thing you've ever done up in this office.
Michael Scott: All right. All right. Okay. You know what? Now you know how I feel. This was a fake firing. Lesson learned. Good work, everybody. Very nice.
Stanley: So I'm not fired?
Michael Scott: That's it. And do you have anything to say to me?
Stanley: Oh yes, I do. You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind. What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense at all? Do you have any idea how to run an office? Every day you do something stupider than you did the day before. And I think, "There's no possible way he can top that." But what you do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it. You are a professional idiot!

Quote from Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld episode The Doodle

Elaine: Did you read the whole thing?
Kramer: Oh, yeah.
Elaine: Yeah? So, what's it about?
Kramer: Well, it's a story about love, deception, greed, lust, and unbridled enthusiasm.
Elaine: Unbridled enthusiasm?
Kramer: That's what led to Billy Mumphrey's downfall.
Elaine: Oh, boy.
Kramer: You see, Elaine, Billy was a simple country boy, you might say a cockeyed optimist, who got himself mixed up in the high-stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue.
Elaine: Oh, my God.

Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Latest Updates

The Goldbergs: Season 10 Quotes

The Goldbergs: Season 10 Quotes

We have added quotes from the final season of ABC's The Goldbergs, which recently ended after a ten-year run. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica and Geoff in the tenth season.

Find your favorite quotes from The Goldbergs

Abbott Elementary: Season 2 Quotes

Abbott Elementary: Season 2 Quotes

We have just added quotes from the second season of Abbott Elementary, the hit ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked and under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, the show's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.

Catch up with the latest quotes from the Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.

Check out quotes from Abbott Elementary

The Goldbergs: Season 9 Quotes

The Goldbergs: Season 9 Quotes

We have added quotes from the ninth season of The Goldbergs, which recently concluded its ten-season run on ABC. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica and Geoff in the penultimate season.

Check out quotes from The Goldbergs

The Wonder Years Quotes

The Wonder Years Quotes

We have added quotes from the first season of ABC's The Wonder Years, inspired by the classic '80s series of the same name. The Wonder Years looks back at the life of a Black middle-class family in Montgomery, Alabama in the late '60s, as seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old Dean Williams. The show is narrated by Dean's adult self, voiced by Don Cheadle.The series stars Elisha "EJ" Williams, Dulé Hill, Saycon Sengbloh, Laura Kariuki, Julian Lerner, Amari O'Neil and Milan Ray.

Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Williams family: Dean, Bill, Lillian and Kim, along with Dean's friends Brad, Cory and Keisa.

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Abbott Elementary Quotes

Abbott Elementary Quotes

We have just added quotes from the first season of Abbott Elementary, the hit new ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked, under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.

Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Willard R. Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.

Find your favorite quotes from Abbott Elementary