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Popular Quotes

Quote from Sophia Petrillo in The Golden Girls episode The Engagement

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.

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Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Nepotism

Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.

Quote from Captain Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One Where Everybody Finds Out

Phoebe: Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler. Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! Oh! Oh! Oh! Chandler and Monica! Chandler and Monica!
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: Chandler and Monica!
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: Oh, my eyes! My eyes!

Trending Quotes

Quote from David Rose in Schitt's Creek episode Honeymoon

Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
David: Okay.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
Stevie: Oh.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional Rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot, that used to be a Chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh, okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?

Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)

Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.

Quote from Robert California in The Office episode Turf War

[After Robert vomits in the trash can by Jim's desk]
Jim: Robert?
Oscar: Why did Binghamton close?
Robert: Can everyone just, please... I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and – how should I say this – Colombian whites. What- What is this about, uh, Binghamton?
Kevin: The branch closed. Forever.
[aside to camera:]
Robert: Closing the Binghamton branch never occurred to me before today. Or, I guess, last night. But, in vino veritas, as they say. I'm not gonna start doubting my drunken self now.

Quote from Alexis Rose in Schitt's Creek episode Driving Test

David: Okay, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car for 20 minutes, so that I can do my transcendental meditation before I fail this test.
Alexis: Okay, you are acting all sorts of crazy right now. This honestly does not matter. Nobody cares.
David: Uh, people care. I care, the driving examiner person cares.
Alexis: No, he doesn't. Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you.
David: What does that mean?
Alexis: You always over think everything, and that's why you fail all the time.

Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey

Phoebe: I brought you some housewarming gifts. Salt, so your life always has flavor. Bread, so you never go hungry. And a scented candle for the bathroom. Because, well, you know.

Quote Collections

  • Quarantine Collection

    “Quarantine Collection”

    A collection of quotes about isolation, quarantine and personal hygiene from shows including Friends, Schitt's Creek, Frasier, The Office, The Golden Girls, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Young Sheldon.

    35 quotes

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Derry Girls Quotes

Derry Girls Quotes

We have added quotes from the hit U.K. comedy Derry Girls. The show follows a group of friends during their teen years in Derry in the '90s, towards the end of the Troubles. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James, along with Sister Michael, Ma Mary, Da Gerry, Aunt Sarah and Granda Joe.

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The Goldbergs: Season 7 Quotes

The Goldbergs: Season 7 Quotes

We have added quotes from the seventh season of the hit ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. Catch up with your favorite lines from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica, Murray and Pops.

Check out quotes from Season 7 of The Goldbergs

Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes

We have added over 5,400 quotes from Everybody Loves Raymond, the hit sitcom which ran from 1996 to 2005 and starred Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Brad Garrett, Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Barone family: Ray, Debra, Robert, Marie and Frank.

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Monk Quotes

Monk Quotes

We have added over 4,300 quotes from the comedy-drama series Monk, which ran from 2002 to 2009 on USA Network and starred Tony Shalhoub, Traylor Howard, Bitty Schram, Jason Gray-Stanford, and Ted Levine. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adrian Monk, Natalie, Sharona, Lieutenant Disher, and Captain Stottlemeyer.

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New Girl Quotes

New Girl Quotes

We have added over 5,500 quotes from New Girl, which ran from 2011 to 2018 on FOX. Catch up with your favorite quotes from everyone in the loft: Jess, Nick, Schmidt, Winston, Coach and Cece.

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