Parks and Recreation Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
- Soda Tax
- How a Bill Becomes a Law
- Sex Education
- Halloween Surprise
- Ben's Parents
- Leslie vs. April
- Pawnee Commons
- Ron and Diane
- Two Parties
- Women in Garbage
- Ann's Decision
- Emergency Response
- Leslie and Ben
- Correspondents' Lunch
- Animal Control
- Article Two
- Jerry's Retirement
- Swing Vote
- Are You Better Off?
- Season 6
- London (Part 1)
- London (Part 2)
- The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic
- Gin It Up!
- Recall Vote
- The Cones of Dunshire
- Second Chunce
- New Beginnings
- Farmers Market
- Ann and Chris
- The Wall
- New Slogan
- Galentine's Day
- Flu Season 2
- One in 8,000
- Moving Up (Part 1)
- Moving Up (Part 2)
- Season 7
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors: Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Wednesday, July 28, 2021
Tom: I think we got the boring, cliched shot that Leslie wanted.
Mark: That's it? We're done?
Tom: Not even close. Now the real art begins.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Step one, nail this photo shoot with an amazing, iconic image. Step two, book some outside gigs. Step three, have sex with a model. Step four, step in front of the camera, become a model.
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
The best quotes from Andy Dwyer's alter-ego, Burt Macklin, FBI.
Duke Silver is Ron Swanson's saxophone-playing alter-ego, and leader of the Duke Silver Trio.
A selection of quotes dedicated to Ben Wyatt's favorite food, the 'portable, delicious meal' that is a calzone.
Tom: Hey. Here's a fun game. Let's talk minimum acceptable thread count for sheets.
Ann: Ooh, that does sound fun.
Tom: Stop me when I hit it.
Ann: 1,000... 800... 700... 600?
Tom: Ann, I'm at 600. Are you really not stopping me?
Ann: I have those cotton t-shirt sheets.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It's always the most beautiful ladies who hurt you the worst.
Producer: Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from listeners like you and from the new film The Shadows of Seven Heads, the dramic tale of an Israeli soldier who falls in love with conjoined Palestinian sextuplets. Out soon from Focus Features.
Derry Murbles: Welcome to "Thought For Your Thoughts." I'm your host Derry Murbles, sitting in for Nina Joplin, who is touring the country performing a spoken-word opera about pear-shaped women. My guest today is City Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
Leslie Knope: It is a pleasure to be back, Derry. Your show last week on dolphin lactation was just riveting radio. Derry, my team and I are trying to build a park, and we need input on the design from you, the citizens of Pawnee. So I guess I'm here to send out the Bat-Signal.
Derry Murbles: A Bat-Signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character "the Bat-Man" a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.
Leslie Knope: That's correct. Well put. This park is going to be a celebration of Pawnee by Pawnee and for Pawnee. So, you know, send in your plan or your resume... And quick. Please. Hurry. This is all gonna fall apart if you don't hurry.
Derry Murbles: Coming up after the break, movie reviews with Ken Tucker who is filling in for David Bianculli who's in New York filling in for Ken Tucker. Leslie, would you like to introduce the next segment?
Leslie Knope: Okay. "Now it's time for 'Jazz Plus Jazz Equals Jazz,' today we have a recording of Benny Goodman played over a separate recording of Miles Davis." [both recordings playing simultaneously]
Derry Murbles: Research shows that our listeners love jazz.
Tom: Ginuwine? The Ginuwine is your cousin? How do I not know this?
Ann: Who's Ginuwine?
Tom: Ginuwine? Ginuwine is Ginuwine. He's Ginuwine.
Ann: Saying his name over and over again is not going to help me.
Tom: He's an R&B singer. Pony, Differences. Do you really not know who Ginuwine is?
Ann: I know that he's Donna's cousin.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my "oh-no-nos." A woman commits an "oh-no-no," it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is number three on the "oh-no-nos" list. Girl doesn't even know who Ginuwine is.