Parks and Recreation Quotes
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring:
Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors:
Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Ron Swanson in I'm Leslie Knope
Ron Swanson: You know, when I was 12, my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. Granted, it was a hilarious prank, and we all had a good laugh.
Leslie Knope: That's awful.
Ron Swanson: But I avoided going to the doctor. I hate paperwork. After a few weeks, the toe just kinda fell off. Leslie Knope: You only have nine toes?
Ron Swanson: I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that. The point is the doctor said if I had come in right away, they might've saved the toe. You can't run away from your problems.
Leslie Knope: Especially if you only have nine toes. Sorry. That was uncalled for.
Ron Swanson: I'm Ron Swanson. And you're Leslie [bleep] Knope. You with me?
Popular Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Quote Collections
Trending Quotes
Quote from Andy in The Treaty
Andy: Honey! I just traded Finland's military to Kenya for 50 lions. That's pretty good, right?
April: Yeah...
Andy: Okay.
April: But also militaries are pretty good at protecting countries.
Andy: But so are lions. And you don't have to pay them.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: These kids are idiots. I've just traded all of Finland's boring stuff for every other country's lions? I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now. I have no idea what's going on. But if that ends up meaning something in this game, I'd say I'm set.
Quote from Leslie Knope in Second Chunce
Leslie Knope: Jen Barkley telling me I had a future was the best present I could have got. Thank you.
Ben: You're welcome. But, I did get you one other present to take your mind off all this.
Leslie Knope: Aww, you are the sweetest man in the world. Where is it?
Ben: Well, it's not here. We have to go get it.
[cut to Leslie and Ben in Paris; aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: In times of stress or in moments of transition, sometimes it can feel like the whole world is closing in on you. When that happens, you should close your eyes, take a deep breath, listen to the people that love you when they're giving advice, and remember what really matters. And, if you have the ability to go to Paris, by all means, go to Paris!
Quote from Ron Swanson in The Wall
Leslie Knope: Look, you know how much I love Pawnee. But the more I try to fix it the more people fight me. They call me names, they recall me, they try to kill the merger. They literally punch me in the face. And yet every time I contemplate leaving, just walking away once and for all, I just can't do it. What is wrong with me?
Ron Swanson: Yesterday, I fixed that old steam radiator. Threaded a new valve into the side, removed the handle from the base, unscrewed the packing nut from the stem. This subpar toolbox only had one wrench, so I was lucky it was a three-quarters or I'd have been screwed.
Leslie Knope: [laughs] Yeah, man, you are lucky. Come on, Ron. What the hell? I need your help.
Ron Swanson: By the time I was done, this 100-year-old piece of American-made cast iron was singing like a bird. Now... to most people, this story would seem boring.
Leslie Knope: That's ridiculous. It's a story about a radiator.
Ron Swanson: But to me, it was immensely satisfying because I enjoy fixing radiators. You like fixing this town, Leslie, you always have. You know it's an uphill battle, but you love the struggle. I would also add that you've already done a hell of a lot to make this town better, and people like this young man here will benefit from your hard work.
Leslie Knope: He is a beautiful boy. He's quite a looker. Thank you, Ron.