Parks and Recreation Quotes

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.

Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Recurring Actors: Paul Schneider, Billy Eichner, Jay Jackson, Mo Collins, Ben Schwartz, Megan Mullally, Jon Glaser.
Original Run: 2009-2015.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Ron Swanson in Gryzzlbox

Ron Swanson: As you requested, here's a picture of my son at a recent moment in his life.
Leslie Knope: So cute. [Ron takes the picture back and tears it up] What are you doing?
Ron Swanson: Protecting my son's privacy. What, I'm just gonna carry around pictures of my child where anyone could see them?

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!

Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]

Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.

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Trending Quotes

Quote from Andy in Campaign Ad

Dr. Lipp Nerpins: Okay, if you're allergic to any food, we'll know in a few days.
Andy: I think based on the redness I might be allergic to getting stabbed by needles.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: We have already been to, like, five different doctors. I got my ankles microwaved.
April: X-rayed.
Andy: They took my blood away to use for science.
April: Cholesterol tests.
Andy: April had her sinuses removed?
April: Looked at.
Andy: Some guy looked at my wiener, touched it. That was weird.
April: And that guy wasn't even a doctor.
Andy: That... What?

Quote from Ron Swanson in Media Blitz

Ron Swanson: Do you fish, April?
April: No. Fish are gross.
Ron Swanson: Let me give you a piece of fishing advice.
April: I said I don't...
Ron Swanson: When you have a fish on the line, you don't just drag it behind the boat. You either reel it in, or you cut him loose, especially if he's a nice fish with a big, lovable fish heart.
April: You don't know what you're talking about.
Ron Swanson: Maybe not. Maybe you really do hate Andy. Maybe moving to Indianapolis just to get revenge on him is a really good idea. What do I know?

Quote from Jean-Ralphio in One Last Ride (Part 2)

Jean-Ralphio: Tommy-T and Sexy Lexy Knope. Ooh, what are you two bad larrys up to?
Leslie Knope: Well, this is our last day in Pawnee, and we have one last problem to fix.
Jean-Ralphio: Hold up. You're leaving? For truth? I am gonna miss you so much.
Leslie Knope: What's going on? You're not injured?
Jean-Ralphio: Uh, yeah, I'm injured. I got a terminal case of "Get me to the front of the line at Six Flags"!
Both: Shaaa-boosh!
Jean-Ralphio: It's a winter wonderland. I'm gonna be so sad to see you go. Will you do me one final kindness? Will you pretend to be my wife for an insurance scam, but then we fall in love for real? Also, can I have a pair of your gym socks? No, wait, it's not for anything weird. It's just a fetish I have.
Leslie Knope: Jean-Ralphio... Although I truly hope that I never see you again, I do wish you a long and happy life.