Daily Quotes - July 5

  • Quote from Joey in Friends episode The One with the Red Sweater

    Joey: Hey, Rach, listen. No matter what this guy says. I want you to know, you're not going to be alone in this.
    Rachel: I'm not?
    Joey: No. Listen. It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I've always felt like you and I have this special bond, you know. Rachel Green, will you marry me?
    Rachel: What?
    Monica: What?
    Phoebe: What?!
    Joey: Pheebs, give me the ring back.
    Phoebe: No!

  • Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Office episode Stairmageddon

    Dwight K. Schrute: For five years I've held my instincts in check because I wanted to be made manager. Maybe it's time for me to just let that thought go. It's kind of painful, but it's also freeing in a way. Now it's all about my instincts.

  • Quote from Moira in Schitt's Creek episode RIP Moira Roise

    Stevie: I've been reading what people have been saying about you. They're gonna be really happy you're still around.
    Moira: Yeah, I don't think loyalty was ever in question.
    Stevie: Then why not come forward and be honest about where you are?
    Moira: Stevie, I don't-
    Stevie: Okay, that reporter's not gonna be out there forever. This is your chance to tell your own story, in your own words.
    Moira: Like we did during the writer's strike.

  • Quote from Rose in The Golden Girls episode Sophia's Wedding

    Blanche: What are you gonna do today, Dorothy?
    Dorothy: Sit in a dark room and smoke ten packs of cigarettes.
    Rose: Dorothy, I know what you're going through. I smoked for years.
    Dorothy: You smoked? Rose, that's like finding out Lassie was an alcoholic.
    Rose: Lassie was an alcoholic?! That explains why she always tipped to one side when she waved goodbye to Timmy.

  • Quote from Gloria in Modern Family episode The Closet Case

    Gloria: Okay, I want a new cheerleader for Manny. Give me this yearbook and I'm gonna pick one for him.
    Cameron: No. Even if I did think that was a good idea, I'm not gonna abuse my position of power in the school.
    Gloria: You share an office with a tetherball.

  • Quote from Lily in How I Met Your Mother episode Baby Talk

    Lily: We're idiots.
    Marshall: Baby, names and gender, it's just, like... it's some way of giving ourselves the illusion that we have any control whatsoever. I... I just want a healthy, happy, 12-pound...
    Lily: Whoa.
    Marshall: Ten-pound? [Lily signals lower] Eight-pound?
    Lily: I guess, but, dude, you're writing checks my vagina can't cash.

  • Quote from Niles in Frasier episode The Innkeepers

    Frasier: Niles, tonight let's go to Orsini's for one glorious farewell dinner.
    Niles: Why not? I'll make the reservations. We'll take Dad and Daphne.
    Frasier: Great. Will Maris be joining us?
    Niles: Oh, sadly no. She had a bad experience there one Christmas Eve. An Italian soccer team was at the next table. Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose and, perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued.

  • Quote from Beverly in The Goldbergs episode Sixteen Candles

    Barry: We can live in some tiny, shark-tankless apartment, for all I care. As long as it's me, Lainey, and our four snuggly little kids.
    Beverly: Okay, there is no way I'm gonna let- Oh, my God. Did you say kids?
    Lainey: Can you imagine all those cute little Barrys running around? Aww.
    Barry: Aww.
    Beverly: Aww.
    Lainey: Why is she aww-ing with us?
    Barry: I don't know.
    Beverly: Little Barrys. Oh, with the curly hair and the squishy, husky baby body and the not being able to ride the bus to camp 'cause you're so emotionally out of control. [gasps] Ah!

  • Quote from Bernadette in The Big Bang Theory episode The Closure Alternative

    Penny: It's just, he's so passionate about so many different things. I just don't get that way. Do you?
    Bernadette: Well, sure. I'm pretty passionate about science. I remember the first time I looked through a microscope and saw millions of tiny microorganisms. It was like a whole other universe. If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god.

  • Quote from Charles in Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode The Swedes

    Charles: There's no need for Holt to see me unleash the beast.