Daily Quotes - September 20

  • Quote from Ross in Friends episode The One With Ross's Wedding (Part 1)

    Ross: I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
    Monica: Yes, I did. And you are welcome.
    Ross: Am l?

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  • Quote from Erin in The Office episode Special Project

    Erin: For a while there I thought something would change. But nope. Andy's still with Jessica, they even carpool together most days. I don't know, I wouldn't mind carpooling every day with Andy, but I wouldn't want to spend that much time with Jessica.

  • Quote from Moira in Schitt's Creek episode The Hospies

    Jocelyn: Okay, you're actively trying to prevent Alexis from auditioning here, and I don't want to get in the middle of some mother daughter competition thing...
    Moira: Competition! Nothing of the sort. No, Alexis just doesn't have the life experience.
    Jocelyn: Really? Because according to her stories...
    Moira: Well, she's had her fair share of adventures, yes. But the role of Sally Bowles requires an actress who can mine a deeper, darker cave. A woman encumbered with secrets she will take with her to the tomb. Hence the high praise Gina Gershon and I received for the role.

  • Quote from Dorothy in The Golden Girls episode Stan's Return

    Stan: I didn't want to say anything. What the hell, you deserve to gloat a little.
    Dorothy: I deserve to gloat a lot! But I can't. I know what the pain is like and I wouldn't wish it on... I don't know how to finish that sentence, I usually say Stan.

  • Quote from Cameron in Modern Family episode Election Day

    Cameron: Look at what we do with movie stars. Okay. You know? Hugh Jackman. He sings, he dances, he's dreamy! So obviously we would want him on our team! But he's straight. Trust me, I know. I said hello to him once in a restaurant, and there was absolutely no chemistry.
    Mitchell: Well, if that isn't proof.

  • Quote from Frasier in Frasier episode Moons Over Seattle

    Frasier: [on the phone] Henri, you can't ban me from your bistro. It's my chez away from chez! Very well. Goodbye, Henri.

  • Quote from Robin in How I Met Your Mother episode The End of the Aisle

    Patrice: You've never looked more beautiful, Robin.
    Robin: [quietly] Nobody asked you, Patrice.

  • Quote from Carla in Scrubs episode My Fifteen Minutes

    Turk: You know, you're gonna have to see her eventually.
    Carla: No, I don't. Because I know the layout to the air-duct system like the back of my hand. Of course I'm gonna have to see her again.

  • Quote from Andy in Parks and Recreation episode Moving Up (Part 2)

    Andy: Well, how about this Unity concert, huh, Pawnee? [cheers and applause] I love this town so much, and I'm just so proud to live here. And we're gonna close tonight out with a tribute to Pawnee's greatest treasure. [sings] Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said good-bye You take a running leap, and you learn to fly
    All: Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind.
    Andy: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Duke Silver!
    Ron Swanson: [plays sax solo]
    All: Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'l Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind

  • Quote from Murray in The Goldbergs episode 12 Tapes for a Penny

    Murray: Why?
    Barry: I'm probably being a little paranoid, but it kind of seems like Bill hates my living guts.
    Murray: Hoo-hoo. He sure does.
    Barry: I don't get it. Mom says I'm literally a human ray of sunshine.
    Murray: Your mom's a nice lady, but she's done some real damage to you.

  • Quote from Bernadette in The Big Bang Theory episode The Septum Deviation

    Howard: I love that I'm a slob around here and you're kinda okay with that.
    Bernadette: Uh-huh. And I love that I work and do all the cleaning and you're okay with that.

  • Quote from Captain Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode Windbreaker City

    Captain Holt: Gina, you're tenacious, you're strong. You're a great leader. And, most importantly, any basic bitch would be lucky to be like you.