Daily Quotes - April 4

  • Quote from Ross in Friends episode The One with the Cop

    Ross: All right, I don't think it's going to pivot any more.

  • Quote from Meredith in The Office episode Michael's Last Dundies

    Michael Scott: Did you know herpes affects one in five sexually active adults? Pippy Longstocking, Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. What do they all have in common? Red heads. Erin Hannon, come on up here to receive your Cutest Red Head in the Office Award!
    Meredith: This is bull! [throws her Dundie]

  • Quote from Gil in Frasier episode She's the Boss

    Bulldog: So, we're together, right?
    Gil: Absolutely.
    Bulldog: We're not letting her push us around any longer!
    Gil: Nope. You do the talking. I'll stand behind you and burn holes through her with my "You call this a hollandaise sauce?!" glare.

  • Quote from Ronnie in Schitt's Creek episode The M.V.P.

    Ronnie: Roland, the rules say that we can't play if we don't have nine players! And I can't stomach the thought of Patrick's team winning by default; the man looks like a thumb!

  • Quote from Dorothy in The Golden Girls episode Take Him, He's Mine

    Dorothy: Open the door, Stanley.
    Stan: Dorothy, you're in your nightgown.
    Dorothy: I came on an impulse. I couldn't help myself.
    Stan: Well, it's really a nice gesture, babe, but I'm afraid I'll have to take a rain check.
    Dorothy: Stanley, you truly are one chromosome away from being a potato.

  • Quote from Mitchell in Modern Family episode Thanksgiving Jamboree

    Claire: Any suspicious activity on that phone bill?
    Mitchell: Well, Cam spent $100 on the psychic hotline, but that's normal during the run-up to award's season.

  • Quote from Pops in The Goldbergs episode Double Dare

    Pops: What kind of a fakakte game show is this? I thought it was just trivia.
    Adam: Oh, it is and some physical challenges.
    Pops: It looks slimy and unsafe.
    Adam: You're Pops! You can do anything!
    Pops: What the [bleep] is that thing?
    Adam: You play tennis and date twins and drink Martinis when the sun's out.
    Pops: Yes, I do sample from the salad bar of life.

  • Quote from Amy in The Big Bang Theory episode The Occupation Recalibration

    Howard: Anybody home?
    Amy: Hey. What brings you guys here?
    Raj: We were just on our way to lunch and wanted to see if you'd like to join us.
    Amy: Why? Because Sheldon's not here this week and you don't think I have any other options -- I'm just kidding! I'll get my purse.

  • Quote from Scully in Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode Windbreaker City

    Agent Kendrick: What are your demands?
    Jake: A guarantee that this drill doesn't end until one of us is dead.
    Charles: Also, one large pizza with fennel sausage - brick oven, otherwise it's sog city. And Scully needs some Gasinex, extra strength.
    Scully: Chewable!