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‘Flip Flop’ Quotes

Modern Family: Flip Flop

420. Flip Flop

Aired April 10, 2013

When Claire and Cameron's "flipped" house goes back on the market, they find selling the property isn't as easy as they expected. Meanwhile, Javier visits Manny and brings along his new girlfriend.

Quote from Luke

Haley: Okay, so after a quick scan of his Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Instagram, here is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

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Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Here's to the best construction crew in the business.
Claire: Okay.
Cameron: Hank. Luis. Paco! Wish you could be here right now, buddy.
Alex: What? Did he die?
Cameron: No, he's on the roof, fixing a shingle that he should've gotten right the first time.

Quote from Gil Thorpe

Gil Thorpe: Dunphy, I'm not gonna lie to you. You guys did a nice job on the house. My buyer wants in.
Phil: Fantastic! That is great news! You know, when we first got into this-
Gil Thorpe: Whoa, the small talk's over. Here's what we're prepared to offer.
Phil: You're joking, right?
Gil Thorpe: I don't joke about real estate. I joke about golf and Mexicans. It's okay, though. I'm married to one.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Now I'm not an art expert like you, but I did acquire this piece in a gallery in one of the finer Vegas casinos. What do you think?
Trish: It does say something.
Jay: He used to, before his little voice box broke. It said, "Welcome home, master. Ruff day?"

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: And, as we make our way out of the gourmet kitchen, we find ourselves back in the warm embrace of the parlor.
Mitchell: Easy Duchess, it's just one room, not Gosford Park.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: I love the house. It's beautiful. Here is a tree.
Manny: It's a pachira, a Taiwanese symbol of good financial fortune. It's also known as a money tree.
Jay: That makes two of us.

Quote from Luke

Luke: Hey, I've got a friend who wants to buy a house. Maybe I can show it to him after school. Then if he buys it, I'd get the commission. What would that be?
Claire: Adorable.
Luke: I'm serious. And I'm not adorable. I'm getting a mustache.
Lily: I know my A-B-C's.
Luke: Wow. I guess things weren't about you for a second.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: [on the phone] It's okay, Manny. I'll see you in a minute. Yes, I'll be polite and I'll be nice. I promise. [hangs up] I'm going to kill him.
Jay: What'd Javier do this time?
Gloria: His one big weekend alone with his son, and I just found out that he brought his latest bimbo along. He always does this. You remember that time that he took Manny and that stripper fishing?
Jay: Yeah. They barely got a nipple. Come on. That was good. I just thought of that.
Gloria: Are you done?
Jay: I bet she was comfortable with the pole. Ah. Should've quit after "nipple." How does Leno do it night after night?
Gloria: I was just wondering that about myself.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: Something you wanna say, Mitchell?
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Yes. I told you so. I warned you this would happen. I tried to stop it, but you wouldn't let me. I was right, and you were wrong. Uh, you live in this ridiculous candy-colored fantasy land. I am so much smarter than you, and it is killing me not to rub your nose in it!
[back:]
Mitchell: No. I'm just thinking.

Quote from Gil Thorpe

Phil: [on the phone] Gil! Phil Dunphy.
Gil Thorpe: Ha ha ha! I knew you'd come slinking back! [to the other golfers] Hey, guys! It's Dunphy. He's cavin'. What did I tell you? What did I tell you, hey? [on the phone] Oh, Dunphy, I can play you like a ukulele, 'cause you're small and dainty.
Phil: Gil, I wanna talk to you about your offer.
Gil Thorpe: Oh, ho! Let me stop you right there. This is how this is gonna go down. First of all, I'm gonna take you out to a very nice dinner. I'm gonna talk really sweet to you. And then I'm gonna lay you down by the fire...
Phil: Oh.
Gil Thorpe: Slow at first, then... And then you're gonna go home and tell everybody you went to the movies, but you and I both know that you got thorpedoed.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [on the phone] Guess what, Gil. This was a courtesy call to tell you that I have another buyer. So you can tell your buyer that you cost them a great house necause you got cocky and overplayed your hand. Prepare to Phil the agony of dun-feat. [hangs up] Both names!

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [on seeing Barkley] Again?
Jay: Would you believe she made me keep this in the attic? Gloria, Trish says this is art.
Trish: What was it Thoreau said? "It's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see."
Jay: Hear that? You were wrong.
Gloria: Keep talking like that, and you will find out how he lost his voice box.

Quote from Luke

Phil: Well, Zack Barbie is indeed an adult, he likes the neighborhood, and he's interested.
Claire: Oh, thank God.
Luke: Really? Did God come in here and tell you about him? Because I don't remember it that way.

Quote from Haley

Mitchell: Phil, do you think this is the right house for him?
Phil: It's hard to tell. He's young. He's single. I don't know anything else about him.
Haley: Zack Barbie. Born 1986. Went to college at a place called "mit."
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Likes Chicago Blackhawks, kickboxing, the movie "Die hard," and beer.
Claire: He sounds like a frat boy.
Haley: Oh, he's many things. He meditates, he loves Indian food, and he's crazy about his dog Otis. Does the house have a doggie door?
Claire: No.
Haley: Put one in. You get to Barbie through Otis.
Phil: She's like the girl with the dragon tattoo.
Cameron: With cuter hair.
Haley: Stop talking!
Mitchell: Oh, she really is.

Quote from Phil

Phil: And did I mention that from the back of the garden, you can almost see a piece of the building that they shot "Die Hard" in? I like to sit back there sometimes. It's a great place to gather my thoughts and just I don't know. Be in the now.
Zack: I meditate every day.
Phil: Yippee-ki-yay! What are the odds?

Quote from Gil Thorpe

Gil Thorpe: Your office said you'd be over here.
Phil: Yeah, I am here. With my buyers. What do you guys think?
Mitchell: Oh, my God! This house is perfect.
Cameron: I especially love the warm embrace of the parlor!
Mitchell: It screams you.
Cameron: No, it screams you, sweetie.
Mitchell: Oh, dis doggie door, Cam. Look.
Gil Thorpe: Damn it. Gays. They come to play.

Quote from Gil Thorpe

Phil: That's my wife. I better take it.
Gil Thorpe: Hey, hey. Whoa, listen. Whatever you do, don't tell her you're playing golf on a weekday. You'll be doing dishes all night.
Phil: Good call. Thank you, my man. [answers phone] Hey, honey. What's up? Oh, not much. Just, uh, in a meeting. You know, working hard, bringing home the bacon.
Gil Thorpe: No, he's not! He's playing golf! [laughing]
Phil: No.
Gil Thorpe: Um fore! Nice putt! [laughing] Why you lying to your wife, Dunphy? Huh? Hey, he had a beer at lunch, too!
Phil: What is wrong with you?
Gil Thorpe: You just got thorpedoed! Come back here.


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