Schitt's Creek Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
After the wealthy Rose family lose their fortune, they go to live in their one remaining asset, the small town of Schitt's Creek, which they bought as a joke two decades earlier.
Starring: Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Levy, Annie Murphy, Emily Hampshire, Chris Elliott, Jenn Robertson, Dustin Milligan, Sarah Levy, Noah Reid, John Hemphill, Karen Robinson.
Original Run: 2015-2020.
Quote of the Day
Sunday, June 13, 2021
Johnny: What do you say about guy you couldn't care less about?
Moira: Oh, it's Gord what's-his-name's funeral all over again.
Johnny: Who's Gord what's-his-name?
Moira: Exactly. He was some kind of crew-person on Sunrise Bay. I made an obligatory appearance at the service and his hysterical girlfriend cornered me into saying a few words. I didn't have a thought in my head, so I just stood up and sang "Danny Boy." Not a dry eye in the house.
Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.
Roland: Wow, Johnny, are you okay?
Moira: How long has this affliction been operative?
Johnny: Yeah, I felt a little tightening this morning, Moira, when I picked up that box of programs from the printer's, but I'm good.
Moira: John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!
Moira: [in a Cockney accent] The truth is that, um, we've- We've struggled with penury for quite some time now. Well, just two years ago, we were practically 'omeless.
Car Salesman: Where are you two from?
Johnny: You know, I've been wondering that myself.
Moira: I'm from London. I was one of two identical twins. Tragically, I was snatched from my crib at birth by Russian mobsters. Mmm-hmm. They looked at my fair skin, and my dazzling eyes, and they said, "We'll make a pretty penny on that one, on the 'uman black market, we will."
Car Salesman: And what about the twin?
Moira: What's that, love?
Car Salesman: Well, if you're identical, I thought you'd both be valuable.
Johnny: Yes, wouldn't you?
Moira: She wasn't born yet. Yep, she wasn't born 'til three minutes later. And the Bratva work very quickly.
The definitive collection of Moira Rose quotes where she said bébé.
The erudite lexicon of Moira Rose.
Moira Rose stars in the psychological thriller "The Crows Have Eyes III."
Quotes from David and Patrick's relationship.
The colourful and often perilous stories of Alexis Rose's life before she moved to Schitt's Creek.
All the stories from Moira Rose's long-running stint as Dr. Vivian Blake on the daytime soap-opera Sunrise Bay.
Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot, that used to be a chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh, okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?
David: Oh, my God!
Stevie: I am so sorry. They got me... They got me wasted.
Stevie: I hate them, okay? I hate them so much.
David: You smell very flammable right now.
David: Okay, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car for 20 minutes, so that I can do my transcendental meditation before I fail this test.
Alexis: Okay, you are acting all sorts of crazy right now. This honestly does not matter. Nobody cares.
David: Uh, people care. I care, the driving examiner person cares.
Alexis: No, he doesn't. Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you.
David: What does that mean?
Alexis: You always over think everything, and that's why you fail all the time.