Alexis: [singing] Are you ready? Let's do it. I'm a Lamborghini I'm a Hollywood star I'm a little bit tipsy When I drive my car I'm expensive sushi I'm a cute, huge yacht I'm a little bit single Even when I'm not Ah! Ah! I'm little bit I'm a little bit I'm a little bit of la la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis La la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis
Jocelyn: Oh wow, okay. [stops music]
Alexis: La-la-la.
Jocelyn: Just wonderful.
Alexis: Okay, yeah, I still actually had a few more verses. And in the last verse, I really get to showcase my range.

Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.

Moira: I never meant for you to think that I didn't wanna spend any time with you. Well I hope it's not too late to make up for lost time.
Alexis: Okay. What is your favourite season?
Moira: [inhales sharply] Awards.

Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.

[Schitt's Creek tourism video, on the street in front of Bob's Garage:]
Moira: Oh, hello, you. I'm film and television's Moira Rose. Won't you join me for a little stroll through the slice of paradise I like to call... the town where I currently am.
[in the cafe:]
Moira: Did someone say fine dining? The Café Tropical has certainly been described as "fine." Oh, hello, Twyla. I'll have the Miso Black Cod, please.
Twyla: We don't have that.
Moira: You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!
[in Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: And when it's time to escape the hustle and bustle of the downtown core, you'll find all the peace and solitude your body craves here at our local apothecary. No noisy customers or busy cash registers here, to intrude upon your inner cogitations.
Patrick: It's-it's not usually this quiet.
Moira: Oh, it's always nice and quiet here.
David: Can you stop saying that?
[outside the Rosebud Motel:]
Moira: And finally, when it's time to lay down your weary head, you'll find comfort and safety at the partially renovated Rosebud Motel. And don't forget to say hello to your handsome proprietor, Mr. Johnathon Rose.
Johnny: Thank you for having us.
Moira: John, no.
[outside Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: So why wait? Book your vacation now to this humble little oasis. If heaven had a creek, it would be this one.
[title: the end]

Moira: Well, if that isn't team work, I don't know what is.
Johnny: Ah, I know, the room looks pretty good, huh?
Moira: No, I'm... I'm talking about the way you and I, threw them off the fragrance so that we could keep this suite to ourselves.
Johnny: No, that's not what I was doing, Moira. No, it's very important at this stage to keep the bar set very high for Roland.
Moira: John.
Johnny: Now I just told them they couldn't stay here.
Moira: Oh, be careful, John, lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying heights of your moral ground.