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Princess Party

‘Princess Party’

Season 2, Episode 15 -  Aired February 16, 2011

When Dede comes to town for Lily's birthday, she is accompanied by Claire's old high school boyfriend. Mitchell won't let Cameron resurrect Fizbo the clown at the princess-themed birthday party. Gloria questions whether to attend the party with Dede there.

Quote from Claire

Haley: It's so unfair! You told me I could go!
Claire: I told you you could go if you got a "B" on your history exam, which you didn't.
Haley: I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.
Claire: Honey, we had you tested, like, six times. Trust me, I was praying for dyslexia.


Quote from Jay

Gloria: "Once upon a time, there lived a family of bears. There was Papa Bear"- That's you, Jay.
Jay: Ah, okay. Let's see. [squinting]
Gloria: Do you want me to hold it and stand in the driveway?
Jay: "Holy mackerel, this is good salmon." I feel like they missed an opportun-
Gloria: [deep voice] Shh. "I don't want to eat the fish. They are my friends."
Jay: What kind of voice is that?
Gloria: I am a bear.
Jay: A bear? I was gonna get a crucifix.

Quote from Alex

Robbie: Yeah, well, I better get going. I've got an early morning run, celebrity client. Don't ask me who. Let's just say that if I'm late, I'll be in "jeopardy."
Alex: Who is Alex Trebek?
Robbie: Uh, he's a game show host. Why?
Alex: No reason.

Quote from Phil

Haley: Oh, my God! Why can't you ever let me have any f- Ew, ew! Dad, gross. Your hand smells like cheese.
Phil: I didn't want to dirty a knife.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Sit. Now we all know when Nana Dede comes to visit your mom can get a little...
Haley: Psycho?
Luke: Scary.
Alex: Drunk?
Phil: All true. Therefore, I need you guys to be on your best behavior.

Quote from Luke

Phil: Luke, if your mom starts to lose it, I need you to lighten the mood by being extra cute.
Luke: No problem. I've got some stuff prepared. "Hey, Mom, I'm 'firsty'." Huh? Adorable, right?
Phil: Yeah, that's that's good.
Luke: Don't worry. It works better in my jammies.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Hey Cam, Monica can't come to Lily's birthday party this weekend. Her mom's gonna be in Chicago.
Cameron: Oh, that's fantastic! What part is she playing?
Mitchell: The city of Chicago.

Quote from Manny

Gloria: And we bought Lily a beautiful birthday gift.
Manny: Yeah, I was pushing for a cashmere throw.
Gloria: Look, Jay, it's a talking storybook. We'll record ourselves reading it and then at night Lily can hear our voices before she goes to sleep.
Jay: Terrible idea.
Manny: Unlike the timelessness of cashmere.
Gloria: Enough with the cashmere.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Why is it a terrible idea?
Jay: Don't you remember the answering machine message?
Jay: Hi, you've reached Jay-
Gloria: And Gloria. Please leave a message after the-
Jay: You didn't say "beep."
Gloria: If I say beep, then the people will think it's the beep.
Jay: No, I think they're gonna know to wait for the actual beep.
Gloria: I don't think they'll know.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: Hi, you've reached Jay-
Gloria: And Gloria. Please leave a message after the "beeeeeep."
Jay: What was that?
Gloria: You told me to make the beep.
Jay: No, I didn't tell you to make the beep. I told you to say the word "beep."
Gloria: If I say the word, then people think it's the beep.
Jay: It's not the beep!
Gloria: Then why even say it?

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