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‘Princess Party’ Quotes Page 1 of 6

Modern Family: Princess Party

215. Princess Party

Aired February 16, 2011

When Dede comes to town for Lily's birthday, she is accompanied by Claire's old high school boyfriend. Mitchell won't let Cameron resurrect Fizbo the clown at the princess-themed birthday party. Gloria questions whether to attend the party with Dede there.

Quote from Claire

Haley: It's so unfair! You told me I could go!
Claire: I told you you could go if you got a "B" on your history exam, which you didn't.
Haley: I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.
Claire: Honey, we had you tested, like, six times. Trust me, I was praying for dyslexia.

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Quote from Phil

Haley: Oh, my God! Why can't you ever let me have any f- Ew, ew! Dad, gross. Your hand smells like cheese.
Phil: I didn't want to dirty a knife.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Sit. Now we all know when Nana Dede comes to visit your mom can get a little...
Haley: Psycho?
Luke: Scary.
Alex: Drunk?
Phil: All true. Therefore, I need you guys to be on your best behavior.

Quote from Luke

Phil: Luke, if your mom starts to lose it, I need you to lighten the mood by being extra cute.
Luke: No problem. I've got some stuff prepared. "Hey, Mom, I'm 'firsty'." Huh? Adorable, right?
Phil: Yeah, that's that's good.
Luke: Don't worry. It works better in my jammies.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Hey Cam, Monica can't come to Lily's birthday party this weekend. Her mom's gonna be in Chicago.
Cameron: Oh, that's fantastic! What part is she playing?
Mitchell: The city of Chicago.

Quote from Manny

Gloria: And we bought Lily a beautiful birthday gift.
Manny: Yeah, I was pushing for a cashmere throw.
Gloria: Look, Jay, it's a talking storybook. We'll record ourselves reading it and then at night Lily can hear our voices before she goes to sleep.
Jay: Terrible idea.
Manny: Unlike the timelessness of cashmere.
Gloria: Enough with the cashmere.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Why is it a terrible idea?
Jay: Don't you remember the answering machine message?
[flashback:]
Jay: Hi, you've reached Jay-
Gloria: And Gloria. Please leave a message after the-
Jay: You didn't say "beep."
Gloria: If I say beep, then the people will think it's the beep.
Jay: No, I think they're gonna know to wait for the actual beep.
Gloria: I don't think they'll know.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: Hi, you've reached Jay-
Gloria: And Gloria. Please leave a message after the "beeeeeep."
Jay: What was that?
Gloria: You told me to make the beep.
Jay: No, I didn't tell you to make the beep. I told you to say the word "beep."
Gloria: If I say the word, then people think it's the beep.
Jay: It's not the beep!
Gloria: Then why even say it?

Quote from Luke

Phil: Okay, buddy, we're gonna need you on the front lines sooner than expected. You ready to be cute?
Luke: Please.
Phil: Go get 'em.
Luke: [hugging Claire] Hi, Mommy. My tummy's growling. Can I have some "pas-ghetti"?
Claire: Sweetie, you're hurting me. And take a shower tonight. Your hair smells like cheese. [doorbell rings] I'll get it.
Luke: [to Phil] Okay, I need a giant lollipop, and I need it now.

Quote from Dede

Claire: I just don't understand why you invited him to my house.
Dede: Because he's an old friend. What was I gonna do, not invite him?
Claire: Yes. Yes.
Dede: Sweetheart, I don't know about you, but that is not the way I was raised.
Claire: You raised me.

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