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‘Bad Hair Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Modern Family: Bad Hair Day

416. Bad Hair Day

Aired February 20, 2013

Claire is secretly happy when Phil is unable to join her at her college reunion. As Jay focuses on winning a bowling tournament against his closet competition, Gloria is running ragged as a the mother of a newborn, desperate to keep up the "I don't know how she does it" mystique. When Mitchell offers to babysit Joe, Cameron sees an photo opportunity.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: Okay, I know, but it just hurts, Mitchell. It's the first one of our things that she's outgrown.
Mitchell: Well, you know, but isn't it great that we've raised her to have opinions and interests of her own?
Cameron: But this early? She's still so daggum young.
Mitchell: Okay, is that another Southern thing, or are you just trying to remember her Vietnamese name?

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Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Well, I should've seen this coming. I replaced her with somebody younger, and she sabotaged Joe's shoot out of sheer jealousy. Maybe she does have what it takes to be a model.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] I've regretted throwing away things way more beaten up than Claire. So if this campus Casanova had thoughts of reclaiming her, guess what, hot shot? Legally, I still own her.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Okay, Cam, you take the fall for me, and I will go with you to Missouri. I'll even go for a whole week.
Cameron: Make it ten days.
Mitchell: Okay, fine. But I don't want to meet anything on Monday that I'm gonna eat on Friday.
Cameron: Oh, well, that's gonna happen.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I've waited a year for this day: the annual trade association scratch bowling tournament. Last year, we lost to our biggest rival. Frazier had Ali, Pritchett's Closets has Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets. It's a stupid name, but those cats can bowl.

Quote from Claire

Claire: [aside to camera] If I'm being honest, the reunion might be a little more fun if Phil isn't there. Otherwise, I spend the whole weekend telling him who's who and explaining inside jokes. And if all that explaining is going out, the alcohol is not going in.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Well, enjoy that while it lasts. I had a pretty good hat run, but then I saw a photo of myself from the dude ranch. I looked like Reba at the Grammys.

Quote from Mitchell

Gloria: I see that you found the fur.
Mitchell: Yes. Uh, you wouldn't happen to have a feather boa, would you?
Manny: Are you wearing that to your Oscar party?
Mitchell: No, Manny. We're not cliches. Cam's decorating the party with photos of Lily dressed as different starlets from the- W- We- We're cliches.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Hi, baby Joe. Why don't you just sit a spell? We're just makin' pictures.
Mitchell: Why are you being all Missouri?
Cameron: I don't know. I guess I'm excited to go back to the farm. Is it that obvious?
Mitchell: You said "dagburn" at breakfast.

Quote from Phil

Tater: Man, I always wondered who'd be lucky enough to marry the beautiful Claire Pritchett.
Phil: No luck involved, hombre. She saw, she liked, she got pregnant, she had to.

Quote from Phil

Professor Cooke: So, Phil, are you here all weekend?
Phil: No!
Professor Cooke: Well, that's too bad. I was gonna suggest some activities. The Palmer center is doing a wonderful retrospective of impressionists.
Phil: Oh. That is a shame. That's a field I know quite a bit about.
Claire: Phil.
Phil: No. Uh, you can see the influence, can't you, of the, uh, early impressionists? The, uh, Rich Littles, the Frank Gorshins, on the Jimmy Fallons, if you will.
Claire: He meant the painter kind.
Phil: Yes.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: You have to tell her what you did. You scalped her baby.
Mitchell: I had to cut that wig off. What did you expect me to do? He keeps pulling his hat off.
Cameron: Okay, well, you could've let me do it. I have 32 hours of Vidal Sassoon training. What? I left the program over creative differences. Shut up.

Quote from Phil

Luke: Hey, handsome. Uh, can you sign this? You don't need to read it.
Phil: Never do!
Luke: Right there.
Phil: Oh. Quick. Nature's sure-fire sunburn remedy? [answering phone] Aloe?

Quote from Claire

Claire: OK, here's the number for poison control. Ask for Carol.

Quote from Luke

Luke: I have to get the letter signed because I failed my assignment on the revolutionary war. I recreated the Battle of Bunker Hill using one of my old science projects. Seemed pretty revolutionary to me.
[flashback:]
Luke: The brave patriots made their way up the hillside, prepared for whatever the devious red coats might inflict next. [the volcano starts oozing red liquid] Now you work?!

Quote from Manny

Gloria: Ay, I knew the pancakes would bring you down.
Manny: Just coffee for me today. Black, like I feel on the inside.

Quote from Manny

Gloria: I am sure that Cam is gonna call you today and give you the solo. You're always so hard on yourself. Remember that you said that you didn't have a face for hats? And?
Manny: I look great in every hat.
Gloria: I can't hear you.
Manny: I look great in every hat.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [aside to camera] Yes, I would have loved to go to the spa, but having a baby has changed completely the way that Jay's family look at me. I am not anymore just Gloria that has her hair done, Gloria that goes to the gym. Now I am Gloria the new mother. The "I don't know how she does it" lady.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay, I told you to help me!
Mitchell: I am so sorry!
Gloria: I twisted my ankle.
Mitchell: Okay. Sit down right here.
Gloria: I don't have time for this.
Mitchell: No, you-- you can't walk around on that all day.
Gloria: No, I'm good. I'm good. No. I will use the baby carrier as a as a cane.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Let me guess. You couldn't remember if I said "boa" or "baby," so you brought both.
Mitchell: Gloria hurt herself, and it was kinda my fault, so I offered to watch Joe.

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