Phil Dunphy Exclamations Page 1 of 2  

Phil Dunphy Exclamations

A selection of quotes featuring Phil Dunphy's creative, G-rated exclamations and curses.

Quote from Phil in The Musical Man

Alex: Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy.
Phil: Sweet Lorna Doone. Nineteen missed calls? I wonder who's... [answering phone] Phil Dunphy. You saw the ad? Great. Do you know what you're looking for? The little one. I think I know which one you're talking about. Um, if you're interested, I also have an older model with a lot of character. What? I think the carpet matches the drapes. I haven't checked in a while. Both of them? Wow. Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one. Listen, um, why don't I call you back? We'll set up an appointment. It will give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.

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Quote from Frank in Legacy

Phil: You ready to launch?
Frank: Let's do it.
Phil: Steady as she goes, and she's up! It's working! You did it! It's... Why is it still going?
Frank: How hard did you press start?
Phil: Well, that shouldn't matter!
Frank: Well, just press "end task."
Phil: Okay.
Frank: But only on the right side of the button.
Phil: Why wouldn't you tell me that first?! [car bounces off and flips over] Sweet maker!
Frank: Hmm. Everybody warned me this would happen.

Quote from Phil in Someone to Watch Over Lily

Haley: You win the award for worst mother ever!
Claire: I will be sure to thank you in my speech. Phil! The frying pan's on fire!
Phil: Son of Jor-EI! Everybody stay calm!

Quote from Phil in Good Cop Bad Dog

Phil: Sweet and sour chicken! Girls! Get back- Gotta fix that step. Girls!
Alex: Did he just yell? Drive!
Haley: I'm trying!
Phil: You girls get back here right now!
Alex: Pretend you don't hear him.
Phil: I know you can hear me!
Alex: Oh, my God! He's coming towards the car!
Haley: Oh, my God!
Phil: Stop this car!
Alex: We're sorry, Dad.
Haley: We couldn't hear you!
Phil: No more lies! You poked the bear, girls! You poked him!

Quote from Phil in Phil on Wire

Luke: Looking great, Dad.
Phil: With these steps, I break the surly bonds- Chicken in a basket! Don't look at me.

Quote from Luke in Treehouse

Phil: Oh! Son of a Brisket! Why does that keep happening? Maybe I need a nail gun.
Luke: Okay, that's it! I'm out!
Phil: What do you mean, you're out? Where are you going?
Luke: Dad, no offense, but I've seen you with a glue gun. I think a nail is gonna be harder to get out of my hair.

Quote from Phil in Aunt Mommy

Phil: [aside to camera] Sweet potato fries!

Quote from Phil in Daddy Issues

Phil: Raccoons!
Claire: Oh, for God's sake, Phil, just swear like an adult.
Phil: No! Part of me always knew this is how I was gonna go out.
Claire: In a wine fire surrounded by raccoons?

Quote from Phil in Ringmaster Keifth

Claire: Phil.
Phil: Trinidad and Tobago!
Claire: Why are you avoiding Frank?

Quote from Phil in The Butler's Escape

Phil: And watch your time. In the stage version, the rope's on fire, and you're suspended over a bed of nails.
Luke: I hate this! Why are you making me do this?
Phil: Use that anger, Lukini. Let it be the key that opens the vault of fear that holds the chalice of hope that contains the elixir of success. In a few short minutes- Son of Alkazeel! You've done it!
Luke: I quit!

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