Abbott Elementary Quotes
A documentary crew follows the under-resourced staff at a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia.
Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph, William Stanford Davis.
Original Run: 2021-.
Barbara: [to camera] I have been through this many times before. [Gregory and Janine shouting "Kenny!"] The worst was 2005. A child by the name of August got lost in The Hershey Factory, looking for a chocolate river. Mnh!
Jacob: Gregory, you never told us your favorite pizza place.
Gregory: Oh, I should sit this one out. I'm more of a Baltimore-style pizza guy.
Barbara: Ooh, Baltimore pizza. I've never heard about that. What makes it so different?
Gregory: You never heard of Baltimore style? Oh, it's... It's great. It's, um, really crunchy... and, like, wet.
Gregory: Yeah, yeah. No, it's... it's... It's, um... it's great. Next time you're there, go to, um... Say Cheese. Say Cheese Pizza. It's... They soak it. It's, like, sopping. It's... mmm. I gotta go talk to a child about a little thing.
Mr. Johnson: [aside to camera] I love field trips. I get to do Mr. Johnson's Day Off. That's when I watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which is a movie about a depressed kid who murder his father's Ferrari.
[Ava takes a group of kids to Mr. Johnson's custodial closet:]
Ava: Mr. Johnson, sorry to interrupt whatever this is, but these kids need to stay with you.
Mr. Johnson: Well, looks like Ava switched this day from Ferris Bueller's Day Off to The Breakfast Club. Life moves pretty fast, and if you don't stop every once in a while to take a look, you might...
Ava: Missed one. [chuckles]
Mr. Johnson: Come on in.
Devin: Just what I need... a man who wears used pants bringing me a tray of pickles.
Barbara: Devin, Jacob stayed up all night long preparing this zucchini for the children's lunches.
Jacob: We realize how difficult your day must be. You work under stressful conditions and you still provide for hundreds of kids a day.
Barbara: And I am sorry for insulting your food. I am sure it's... great.
Devin: I appreciate that, and it is great. You should try some.
Barbara: Oh, I have.
Devin: No, not with this new microwave we got. These things is piping hot. Go ahead, give it a try. Yeah. [Barbara laughs nervously] Yeah? Yeah.
Barbara: [eats] Mmm. Tater tots.
Devin: Oh, that's a chicken nugget.
Janine: That sucks, how you had to come up, like, not thinking you're special. I mean, I really hope you don't carry that with you, because I think you're gifted. Just not as gifted as me. [both laugh]
Gregory: Oh, oh, is that so? Okay.
Janine: That is. That is so. Um, but, in all seriousness, Gregory, I was just thinking, um... do you need me to back your car out for you? Because I can do that. You know, I have the brain that it takes to...
Gregory: Alright, now, you have a good night. [both laugh]
Janine: Alright, see you later.
Gregory: I'll see you.
[aside to camera:]
Janine: I'm really happy Gregory's opening up. I mean, he's great, and it's really nice to have another friend at the school. ... What?