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‘See You Next Fall’ Quotes

Modern Family: See You Next Fall

223. See You Next Fall

Aired May 18, 2011

As the family gathers for Alex's middle-school graduation, Jay tries to hide the fact he got botox. Cameron is upset that Mitchell laughed at him falling into a pool. Phil tries to bring Claire's emotions to the fore so her inevitable sadness won't affect his trip to Vegas.

Quote from Haley

Alex: People want to be challenged. They're gonna respect me for it.
Haley: No one's ever gonna talk to you again.
Alex: So what? Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike for what he believed in.
Haley: That's 'cause no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

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Quote from Haley

Haley: Sorry, Alex, but you will thank me one day.
Alex: Please. You really think I don't have duplicates?
Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes. I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.
Haley: Carniv- What?

Quote from Alex

Alex: It's ironic that I stand up here representing my classmates when... they're so awesome. They should be up here themselves. But I'm up here and... I'm sayin' stuff... 'cause... everybody's got their stuff, whether you're popular or a drama geek, or a cheerleader or even a nerd like me. We all have our insecurities.
Cameron: Yes, we do.
Alex: We're all just trying to figure out who we are. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't stop believin'. Get this party started.

Quote from Phil

Phil: And in this corner, finishing first in her class delivering the commencement address, weighing in at- What do you weigh, honey?
Alex: Dad!
Phil: A healthy amount for a girl her age. Are you gettin' all this, buddy?
Luke: Pure gold.
Phil: She's the main brain, the cerebellum of the ball, Alex Dunphy!
Alex: Oh, keep rolling. The news will want this footage when I eventually snap.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Family milestones always throw Claire for a loop. She holds it in, and then the next day she has a total meltdown and I have to pick up the pieces. The problem is tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Vegas with my buds so I need her to melt down today. Otherwise, what happens in Vegas won't happen to me, because I won't be there. "Guys, I can't go to Vegas because my wife's freaking out." Trust me, that is not a phone call you wanna make to a bunch of ex-college male cheerleaders. They will mock you with a hurtful rhythmic taunt.

Quote from Manny

Gloria: [answering phone] Hello?
Jay: Gloria, it's me.
Gloria: Hi. How was the doctor? Can you pick up some bread on the way home, please?
Jay: I'm home. My damn gate remote won't work. Could you press-
Manny: Hello?
Jay: Nine?
Gloria: Manny, it's okay.
Manny: What's okay? What's wrong? Where are you calling from?
Gloria: I'm not calling from. Jay is calling.
Manny: What's wrong with Jay?
Gloria: My clicker won't work.
Manny: Oh, my God. Your heart's not working? How could you tell us this over the phone?

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I got Botox. Stupid doctor talked me into it, and now it's drifting. I haven't felt this dumb since I shelled out 30 bucks for that bracelet, supposed to give me better balance.

Quote from Haley

Alex: It's ironic that I stand up here representing my classmates when, for the past three years most of them have treated me like I'm invisible. It's my own fault. I was obsessed with good grades instead of looks popularity and skinny jeans.
Haley: What? Is that your speech?
Alex: Get out of here!
Haley: You cannot say that!
Alex: Yes, I can. And you wanna know why? 'Cause it's the truth.
Haley: No one wants to hear the truth. It's very simple, Alex. In order to give a good speech, all you have to do is take a song and say it. Like, "Don't Stop Believing," or "Get this Party Started."
Alex: That's means nothing.
Haley: Who cares? Nobody wants to think. It's a graduation a celebration of being done with thinking.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: Jay, that's not looking very good.
Jay: It's fine.
Manny: Quick. Who's the president.
Phil: Obama!
Manny: Phil, please. I'm trying to rule out a stroke.
Jay: It's not a stroke. Why does everybody always assume I'm having a stroke?
Claire: Age.
Manny: Diet.
Gloria: You forgot to bring my bread.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Hey, Luke. Do you realize in two years you and I will be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Hold on. I think I can fix this. - I just need a paper clip, some olive oil and a ribbon.
Jay: What's the plan, "MacGayver"?
Cameron: Actually, the paper clip is to connect these two circuits and the olive oil is to lubricate the mechanism. And the hair ribbon is for Lily. Her hair's been driving me crazy all day.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Wait, wait, wait! I save the day. Let's take this crazy bicycle. We throw it over the gate then we take Phil and we take Claire and then we throw them over the gate too.
Mitchell: What the hell is that?
Gloria: Jay bought it. He thought we were gonna use it all the time but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right? Honey, they're not gonna ride the bike.
Gloria: Yeah, but I still think that we should throw it over the gate.

Quote from Claire

Claire: It's not okay, Phil. It's not okay. We're losing her.
Phil: Alex?
Claire: Yes.
Phil: You're not losing her.
Claire: Oh, we are. She's going to high school. This is just when I lost Haley. This is when Haley went from being my sweet little angel to being a moody, texting, snotty little princess who hates me.
Phil: Haley doesn't hate you. And we're not losing her.
Claire: Do you remember when you used to come home from work and Haley would meet you at the door in her little Aladdin pajamas? You know, and she'd stick her arms up in the air and say "Daddy, Daddy, take me on a magic carpet ride." Remember that? When was the last time Haley was that excited to see you?
Phil: I don't remember. It's been so long.
Claire: We're losing another one. That's what kids do. They leave. They leave and they and they don't come back.
Phil: Oh, well, ours will come back. Right?
Claire: What if they don't and pretty soon it's just the two of us?
Phil: [sobbing] I don't wanna go to Vegas anymore.
Claire: I know.
Phil: I just wanna hug 'em and embarrass 'em in front of their friends.


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