Manny Delgado Quotes Page 1 of 34

Quote from Larry's Wife

Jay: It's a movie. New York, '70s, Charles Bronson's a firm family man, and he-
Manny: Who's pushed to the limit until one day he decides to fight back.
Jay: You've seen it?
Manny: It's called "Death Wish." I doubt it ends with him trading banter in an apartment with Marsha Mason.

Quote from Disneyland

Manny: [aside to camera] We're doing a stock market project in school, and today's the last day. We all get a thousand fake dollars to invest, and as the market closed yesterday, I'm in the lead. I may not be the tallest or the most athletic, but someday I will be the richest, which is good because the ladies love that, and I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

Quote from Thanksgiving Jamboree

Manny: [aside to camera] Luke somehow beat me in the election for president, and I still can't get over it.
Not to be hyperbolic, but humans are a decade away from fighting apes on horseback.

Quote from The Cold

Manny: [aside to camera] I missed the first two days of culinary camp, so I was hopelessly behind on all reductions and meringues. You can imagine the nicknames. I thought "amuse-douche" was particularly cruel.

Quote from Fight or Flight

Manny: I'm not fighting anymore. It's not worth it.
Gloria: But you're doing so good. You just have to turn your shoulder first so that you can throw your weight behind your punch. If you want. I already think that you're very tough. This is all Jay's idea.
Jay: All right. Come on, kid. Show 'em who's boss.
Manny: No. I'm more of a lover than a fighter. Well, that's the goal anyway.

Quote from Patriot Games

Manny: But you also shouldn't worry about what Dad thinks. I think you should become a citizen because even back when we were alone in our apartment this is what you always wanted.
Gloria: Remember sitting by the window, watching reruns of Miami Vice on the neighbor's TV and all the bad guys were caught and all the policemen had all those nice cars?
Manny: We used to watch that and think what an amazing country this was.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: Did a little research. If Mom isn't a citizen when Jay "moves on to a better place" we could be looking at a pretty hefty estate tax. I don't wanna sound insensitive but I have acquired a real taste for truffles.

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Gloria: Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you.
Manny: Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I just did not get the appeal of intentionally soiling one's pants. That said, I will admit to missing the kisses on my tummy.

Quote from Truth Be Told

Gloria: Ay, good morning, papi.
Manny: Is it?
Gloria: Ay, you're still sad because of that audition.
Manny: That part was mine. I was born to play Tevye. Instead they give it to Rod Jackson? What does he know from suffering?

Quote from Regrets Only

Jay: [singing] Oh, Danny boy The pipes The pipes are calling From glen to glen And down the mountainside The summer's gone And all the roses-
Manny: You keep this up, and this won't be the last plug I pull.

Quote from Rash Decisions

Gloria: We have to get rid of Stella.
Jay: Slow down. We haven't decided anything yet.
Gloria: Yes, we have. It's what's best for Joe.
Manny: And for whatever it's worth, my eyes have stopped itching, I can taste my food, and I have more energy.
Jay: You took a three-hour nap yesterday.
Manny: I was tired from the marathon.
Jay: The "Downton Abbey" marathon?

Quote from Fifteen Percent

Whitney: This is so humiliating. I am sorry.
Gloria: It's okay.
Whitney: He just seemed so mature online. How could I be so stupid?
Manny: You're not stupid. "Stupid" is not following your heart and taking a chance on love.
Whitney: I mean, what kind of 11 -year-old talks like that? [crying]
Gloria: Manny's an old soul.
Manny: [to Whitney] Here. Use my handkerchief.

Quote from Baby on Board

Gloria: Jay! Manny! Good news! Mitch and Cam are getting a new baby today.
Jay: Really? That's fantastic.
Gloria: And it's Latino!
Manny: How's that giant fence working out for ya?

Quote from Games People Play

Jay: Why are you so scattered lately?
Gloria: Aw, he's just nervous because of his poetry reading tonight. But don't worry, papi. I am going to be there to support you.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I don't want my mom there. I'm exploring some darker themes I'm not sure she's ready for, poems like "The Umbilical Noose," "A Jail Called Mom," "Smother Nature." She'll just find some way to make it all about her.

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Claire: Alex and I can't just disagree. I mean, she has to turn everything into a fight.
Manny: Hmm, a strong, independent woman. Sounds like somebody else I know.
Claire: I was never hostile, thou. This- This whole thing with the dress- Never had this problem with Haley.
Manny: Maybe Alex doesn't want to compete with her big sister. Maybe she's trying to create her own identity. Put her in a dress and she disappears.
Claire: For one afternoon.
Manny: I wouldn't give up being myself for even one second.
Claire: Wow. Sometimes it's hard to remember you're only 10 years old.
Manny: [with a milk mustache] And three-quarters.

Quote from A Year of Birthdays

Jay: This is from me and th eboys. Gloria got you her own gift.
Claire: Wow, this is wrapped so nicely!
Manny: I did that. It's a lost art in this modern age where people simply click and ship gifts over the Internet.
Gloria: Papi, just be normal.