Modern Family Quotes

Modern Family

Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

Starring: Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Original Run: 2009-2020.

Quote of the Day

Monday, January 18, 2021

Quote from Frank in Legacy

Phil: So, Dad, I, uh, I w... I wanted to ask you...
Frank: Oh, boy. No serious talk, okay? Yes, I'm taking all my million pills. You can come over and press my stomach. I'm starting to feel like a bean bag chair.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Phil in Come Fly with Me

Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?

Quote from Lily in Suddenly, Last Summer

Lily: What if he never comes back?
Jay: Oh, honey, no one ever leaves home and doesn't come back.
Lily: I did.

Quote from Gloria in Unplugged

Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!

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Trending Quotes

Quote from Phil in My Funky Valentine

Phil: Mind if I join you? I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.
Claire: Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana. So, Clive, you in town for a convention, or do you just forget your name a lot?
Phil: Pretty kitty has nails. I like that. I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electroacoustic transducers. [takes out cigarette]
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.
Phil: It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.
Claire: Hmm.
Phil: So, what's your story? Miss America Pageant in town?
Claire: You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.
Phil: I'm pretty smooth all over. [lights up]
Waitress: Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Phil: Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.
Claire: You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.

Quote from Phil in Clean Out Your Junk Drawer

Phil: I didn't feel like going to my grandpa's house that Sunday, so I pretended to have a cold. Wouldn't you know it, a few days later...
Claire: Oh, no.
Phil: Yep. I got the cold. I thought it was Karma, so I hopped on my bike and I rode straight to my grandpa's. I climbed in his lap and I hugged him so hard. We even shared an ice cream cone. It's a memory I'll always cherish, 'cause in a crazy coincidence, he got a cold too, and was dead within a week.

Quote from Claire in Under Pressure

Mrs. Nuttle: I realize our juniors are busy with S.A.T.s, so as a rule, I only give two hours of homework a night.
Claire: Two hours?
Mrs. Nuttle: Our students are highly advanced. It's nothing they can't handle.
Claire: You know, I'm- I'm sure they can. It's just that if they have two hours in this class and they have an hour for A.P. Bio and an hour and a half for, um, advanced lit and- Hang on one second. Let me just do this on the board, 'cause then it's... Um, we got 2 and 1 and 1.5 and then another, uh, hour and a half for A.P. History gives us...
Nina: It's 6.
Claire: Yes! Nina, I was getting there. Thank you! Thank you so much! If I could just have a second to think without all the tippy-tappy typing. Six.