Modern Family Quotes

Modern Family

Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

Starring: Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Recurring Actors: Adam DeVine, Nathan Lane, Fred Willard, Shelley Long, Elizabeth Banks, Benjamin Bratt, Chazz Palminteri, Dana Powell, Kevin Daniels, Rob Riggle, Stephanie Beatriz, Christian Barillas.
Original Run: 2009-2020.

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Quote from Cameron in Putting Down Roots

Mitchell: I guess w-when I look at things from your point of view, I... I made a promise. When your dad needs you to take over the farm, I'm in.
Cameron: Mitchell, that means so much to me, and you're gonna love it. The fresh air, and there's no traffic. Oh, and with a second lawyer in town, we could reopen the courthouse. H-Have you ever milked a goat? Have you ever had fresh milk right from the spigot? Oh, unbelievable. You do have to be careful of snakes and mice and rats. There's a ton of field mice. They scare me. One ran up my sleeve one time when I was a kid.

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Quote from Gloria in Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Jay in Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Cameron in Send Out the Clowns

Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.

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Quote from Alex in Kiss and Tell

Luke: Hey, Alex. You're the last virgin.
Alex: [chuckles] Please, I'm dating a fireman. I'm having hotter sex than... [sees Phil, backs away]

Quote from Claire in Hawaii

Claire: You know, honey, if anything were ever to happen to me, I would want you to get remarried.
Phil: Okay.
Claire: Mmm. That was a little fast.
Phil: Oh, no. I just want to make you happy.
Claire: Okay. Any idea of who you would remarry?
Phil: Vicky Conroy probably. She works in my office. She's very organized. The kids love her.
Alex: Are you guys talking about Vicky?
Phil: Yeah.
Alex: Mom, she's awesome.
Phil: Just so you know, if something were to happen to me, I-
Claire: Something's gonna happen to you, all right.

Quote from Jay in Spuds

Jay: You know, it's... Thing about babies, you... you fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then... bam... they're gone. But it's okay, because in its place is this... toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler's gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard. And this keeps going on like that, but you never get the chance to miss any of them, 'cause there's always a new kid to take the place of the old. Until they grow up. And then... in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.
Waitress: Jesus.
Jay: Oh, I don't mean to be a bummer. I'm just saying it goes fast. Like the expression... "You never know the last time you pick up your kid."