Modern Family Quotes

Modern Family

Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

Starring: Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Original Run: 2009-.

Quote of the Day

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Quote from Cameron in Someone to Watch Over Lily

Mitchell: [aside to camera] So Cam and I have been revising our will to specify who should take care of Lily if, God forbid, something happened to us.
Cameron: God forbid.
Mitchell: I said God for- So we've been dropping by unannounced to, you know, casually assess our candidates.
Cameron: Not all of our candidates.
Mitchell: No, that's true. We did not drop by Missourah.
Cameron: It's Missouri. No one from Missouri would say "Missourah."
Mitchell: I'm so sorrah.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Phil in Come Fly with Me

Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?

Quote from Lily in Suddenly, Last Summer

Lily: What if he never comes back?
Jay: Oh, honey, no one ever leaves home and doesn't come back.
Lily: I did.

Quote from Gloria in Unplugged

Gloria: Look. Look how happy they are instead of him being tied to a tree outside with no one to talk to.
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!

Quote from Phil in Slow Down Your Neighbors

Phil: [aside to camera] I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.

Quote from Cameron in Unplugged

Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?

Latest Quotes

Quote from Dylan in A Year of Birthdays

Dylan: Hey, everybody.
Gloria: [gasps] Ay, where are the babies? I want to see them.
Dylan: There's no easy way to say this. Mitch and Cam have a whole thing they want to do.
Jay: Oh, God. It's worse than I thought.

Quote from Phil in A Year of Birthdays

Manny: Hey, how was your recital, Phil?
Haley: Oh, I messed it all up for him. Sorry about that, Dad. I-I know that was your big goal for the year.
Phil: I have a better one now. Mi ano fue hermoso.
Claire: Mm.
Phil: My year was beautiful.
Gloria: "Año" means "year." "Ano" means "anus."
Phil: Still works.

Quote from Jay in A Year of Birthdays

Jay: Phil, this is for you. It's a little early birthday present. And I admit, this one is a re-gift.
Phil: "World's Best Grandfather." It's the mug I gave you when Haley was born. You kept it all these years.
Jay: Yeah. But, uh... it's yours now. I don't need it anymore. I got a new title.
Alex: "Great grandma"?
Jay: Oh, hell. I grabbed the wrong one. Here.
Gloria: I'm going to count to three.
Jay: Yeah.

Quote from Claire in A Year of Birthdays

Manny: Oh, what are their names?
Claire: We're gonna put a pin in that until the drugs wear off. Nobody needs grandchildren named Pixar and Coachella.
Haley: Ooh.

Quote from Haley in A Year of Birthdays

Jay: Is this the Dunphy suite?
Gloria: Oh, how's the mommy?
Claire: Hand sanitizer, everyone. Here you go.
Jay: How you doing, kiddo?
Luke: A little tired. I overdid it last night.
Phil: [chuckling] I don't think he was talking to you, buddy. It's overwhelming. Just feeling so many different emotions.
Haley: I'm also doing great. I have a son and a daughter, and once they washed them off, they were really cute.

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