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‘Pig Moon Rising’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Modern Family: Pig Moon Rising

817. Pig Moon Rising

Aired March 15, 2017

The extended family gets caught in a web of lies after Mitchell accidentally knocks over an urn filled with the ashes of Cameron's beloved pet pig, Lily. Meanwhile, Luke waits for the news of whether he's been admitted to Phil's alma mata, while Gloria is starting to get upset at the prospect of Manny leaving for college.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Oh, what a B-U-tiful morning. I joke because I've been accepted to B.U.
Gloria: Oh, Manny, I'm so proud of you!
Manny: I'm six for six. So many suitors, not sure which to choose from. I feel like Lady Mary in the last season of "Downton Abbey."
Jay: I'd avoid the big football schools.

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Quote from Jay

Gloria: This is so slow!
Jay: If you're on the Pritchett's Closets website, we're aware of the slowdown. It's either a hack by the Chinese or that Chinese hack I hired to fix the website.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I miss the days when people stood in actual lines. If you weren't willing to stand in the rain, you didn't get to see Gary Puckett & the Union Gap.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Carlos, Carlos. Hey... hey, Carlos. Um, this, uh, Cameron Tucker. I don't know if you remember me or not. Oh, you... you do. Okay, hi. Yeah, wondering if I could get a couple tickets for the show tonight. Gloria Estefan. Because you're in the Miami Sound Machine, silly. What?
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: It was loud in the bar the night I met Carlos, and it turns out he is not a member of the legendary band, the Miami Sound Machine. He owns a mobile dog grooming business called Miami's Hound Machine. In retrospect, I didn't need to be as alarmed with his collection of leashes and collars.

Quote from Phil

Dean Hinden: [phone rings] Oh, hey, Phil, where were Nationals senior year? Cleveland, Oh... [answers phone] Hi-o!
Phil: [hushed] Can you imagine putting up with this for years on end?
Claire: It's hard.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Wait, Officer... no! My car is only here because I was being responsible! I was babysitting my uncle Joe and got too drunk to drive home! ... What is this thing?
[aside to camera:]
Haley: The Barnacle. They stick it on your car when you have unpaid parking tickets. I couldn't let my parents see it, because I knew they'd just overreact and lecture me about being irresponsible, and I couldn't pay to remove it because I just maxed out my credit card on these insanely expensive pair of sunglasses. I don't love 'em.

Quote from Claire

Claire: What are you doing?
Phil: I'm driving up there to tell them they made a mistake. They'd be lucky to have a kid like Luke.
Claire: Well, I guess it... it can't hurt. I mean, it's not like they can super reject him. Although, Michigan did use that exact term.

Quote from Gloria

Manny: Wow. I just got super accepted to Michigan.
Gloria: He's the second Delgado to go to college. My cousin went to the best medical school in Colombia. They would not just accept any cadaver.

Quote from Haley

Luke: "Welcome to Arizona State"...
Claire: It's happening!
Haley: Oh, my God!
Luke: "Welcome to Arizona State's admissions portal." [Claire sighs] "We regret to inform you"...
Phil: Aww, pal...
Claire: [groans]
Haley: Well, don't leave us in suspense. What did they say?

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Hey, I just peeked in on Lily, and guess who she was curled up with on her bed?
Mitchell: If it's not the cat, I'm gonna be really upset about how you're teasing this out.
Cameron: I love that she has a pet that she's close to like I was with my pet pig Lily.
Mitchell: Still no guilt, I see, after tricking me into naming our daughter after bacon.
Cameron: I was very close to that pig. For heaven's sakes, I still have her ashes in the garage.
Mitchell: True.

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