Cameron: Mitch and I are taking Alex and Manny to an art exhibit. But, of course, everybody is welcome to join.
Manny: It's a retrospective on "Post-war Abstract Expressionism".
Luke: Wait. For school?
Manny: No, for life.
Luke: Oh, thank God. I don't even know who we fought in the Post War.

Lily: What's a bridal store?
Gloria: It's a place with the most wonderful dresses that you have ever seen. We're gonna get you the perfect one even if it takes us all day.
Lily: Found it.
Claire: Oh, no, sweetie. That's a costume. You can't wear a costume to a wedding.
Lily: Why not? Belle's a princess. She faced the beast. She stood up to the townspeople. What have you done?

Cameron: I am so excited for this exhibit. I'm such an admirer of Kandinsky. You know, he was credited with painting the first truly abstract work.
Mitchell: Is that so?
Cameron: Mm-hmm.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: To be honest, I was a little nervous about holding my own with those three, so... I did a little boning up on Kandinsky. Figured it couldn't hurt to have a few facts in my pocket. My backup plan was to touch a painting and get thrown out.

Cameron: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching.
Cameron: No. I'm the weak link of this super group. They know it and I know it. It's fine when we're all in a big group, but once we're separated from the herd, the hooves come out.
Mitchell: Don't you mean "claws"?
Cameron: Clawed animals don't travel in herds, Mitchell. Packs, flocks, and prides. Why can't we be on a farm? I'd make you all look like such idiots.

Mitchell: [aside to camera] To be perfectly honest, I-I really needed Cam to stay. The minute he goes, I'm the dumb one. I-I took an art history class once, but that was just to look at naked Italian dudes, so...

Phil: [aside to camera] Why am I so intent on helping Andy? I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film, and now I don't have to do it by myself.

Mitchell: So you know, I'm gonna go check on Cam because he's been alone f-for quite some time. And, you know, he's probably touching a painting.
Manny: N-no, don't go! We're having such a good time.
Alex: I guess it's just you and me now.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: It was okay when Cam left and passed the dunce cap to Mitchell, but with him gone, it went to me. What I would've given to have Luke there. Ah, Luke. Sweet as custard and just as smart.

[aside to camera:]
Jay: I remember the day I gave Mitchell his first taste of beer. He winced and carried on like someone was digging a bullet out of his leg. I couldn't take that moment away from Phil.
[flashback:]
Jay: Hang on. Wait a second. Let me see that. No, this beer's skunked. It's no good. Damn fridge must be on the fritz again.
Luke: Aw, man. Really?
Jay: Sorry, buddy. It's probably time to call your dad anyway, right?

Jay: Okay, I've fed you. Now, who's ready to watch some basketball? Why am I looking at you?
Mitchell: I don't know. Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.
Jay: Don't ruin this for me like you did with Olympic diving.

Cameron: [aside to camera] We asked Gloria to take Lily to pick out her flower-girl dress.
Mitchell: Yeah, we're clearly not following every wedding tradition, but there will damn sure be one dress the grooms don't see until the big day.
Cameron: And we also asked Claire to go because we thought her sensible style nicely complements Gloria's flair. That way Lily doesn't end up looking too [hums "La Cucaracha"] or too [imitates sad trumpet] "Wah-wah."