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‘Other People's Children’ Quotes

Modern Family: Other People's Children

517. Other People's Children

Aired March 12, 2014

The families split up for a day of activities: Gloria and Claire take Lily dress shopping; Mitchell and Cameron join Alex and Manny at a museum; and Jay imparts his practical wisdom on Luke as they build a toolbox together. Elsewhere, Phil helps Any record an anniversary gift for his girlfriend.

Quote from Luke

Cameron: Mitch and I are taking Alex and Manny to an art exhibit. But, of course, everybody is welcome to join.
Manny: It's a retrospective on "Post-war Abstract Expressionism".
Luke: Wait. For school?
Manny: No, for life.
Luke: Oh, thank God. I don't even know who we fought in the Post War.

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Quote from Lily

Lily: What's a bridal store?
Gloria: It's a place with the most wonderful dresses that you have ever seen. We're gonna get you the perfect one even if it takes us all day.
Lily: Found it.
Claire: Oh, no, sweetie. That's a costume. You can't wear a costume to a wedding.
Lily: Why not? Belle's a princess. She faced the beast. She stood up to the townspeople. What have you done?

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: I am so excited for this exhibit. I'm such an admirer of Kandinsky. You know, he was credited with painting the first truly abstract work.
Mitchell: Is that so?
Cameron: Mm-hmm.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: To be honest, I was a little nervous about holding my own with those three, so... I did a little boning up on Kandinsky. Figured it couldn't hurt to have a few facts in my pocket. My backup plan was to touch a painting and get thrown out.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching.
Cameron: No. I'm the weak link of this super group. They know it and I know it. It's fine when we're all in a big group, but once we're separated from the herd, the hooves come out.
Mitchell: Don't you mean "claws"?
Cameron: Clawed animals don't travel in herds, Mitchell. Packs, flocks, and prides. Why can't we be on a farm? I'd make you all look like such idiots.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] To be perfectly honest, I-I really needed Cam to stay. The minute he goes, I'm the dumb one. I-I took an art history class once, but that was just to look at naked Italian dudes, so...

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Why am I so intent on helping Andy? I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film, and now I don't have to do it by myself.

Quote from Manny

Mitchell: So you know, I'm gonna go check on Cam because he's been alone f-for quite some time. And, you know, he's probably touching a painting.
Manny: N-no, don't go! We're having such a good time.
Alex: I guess it's just you and me now.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: It was okay when Cam left and passed the dunce cap to Mitchell, but with him gone, it went to me. What I would've given to have Luke there. Ah, Luke. Sweet as custard and just as smart.

Quote from Jay

[aside to camera:]
Jay: I remember the day I gave Mitchell his first taste of beer. He winced and carried on like someone was digging a bullet out of his leg. I couldn't take that moment away from Phil.
[flashback:]
Jay: Hang on. Wait a second. Let me see that. No, this beer's skunked. It's no good. Damn fridge must be on the fritz again.
Luke: Aw, man. Really?
Jay: Sorry, buddy. It's probably time to call your dad anyway, right?

Quote from Jay

Jay: Okay, I've fed you. Now, who's ready to watch some basketball? Why am I looking at you?
Mitchell: I don't know. Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.
Jay: Don't ruin this for me like you did with Olympic diving.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: [aside to camera] We asked Gloria to take Lily to pick out her flower-girl dress.
Mitchell: Yeah, we're clearly not following every wedding tradition, but there will damn sure be one dress the grooms don't see until the big day.
Cameron: And we also asked Claire to go because we thought her sensible style nicely complements Gloria's flair. That way Lily doesn't end up looking too [hums "La Cucaracha"] or too [imitates sad trumpet] "Wah-wah."

Quote from Luke

Jay: Wheels? What, are you looking at cars already?
Luke: Pottery wheels. I have to pick a spring elective, and Dad thinks I should take ceramics 'cause lots of girls do.
Jay: You know what a lot of girls don't do? Guys who take ceramics. You got a wood shop at your school?
Luke: I can't really build stuff. I mostly take apart and apologize.
Jay: You got to know how to build things.
Luke: I can build suspense.
Jay: How?
Luke: Well, get this. ... Huh?
Jay: Garage. Now.

Quote from Mitchell

Alex: Hey, thanks for inviting us to this.
Mitchell: Oh, no problem. You know, I'm surprised that this particular foursome doesn't hang out more often, considering-
Alex: We're the cultured ones in the family?
Mitchell: I wouldn't say that. Outside of this group.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Did you know your father actually goes to the grocery store to buy books?
Mitchell: I did know that, yeah. I also know that the best way to get my sister to fall asleep is to-
Alex: Show her a movie with subtitles. Bonne nuit, mama.
Cameron: We should be nice and grateful that we have this day to spend together in our own private salon.
Manny: Don't tell my mom that. She'll show up and ask to get her roots done.
Cameron: Manny!
Mitchell: That's true.

Quote from Jay

Jay: We're gonna start by building a simple toolbox. First, I'm gonna show you how to cut the wood. [to Joe] I know you're a little young for this, Goober. Try to soak it all up.
Luke: What's this thing?
Jay: A table vise.
Luke: [singing to the tune of "Edelweiss"] Table vise, ta
Jay: No. I already went through this with Mitchell. That's what we're here to prevent.

Quote from Manny

Alex: How could a guy with so much pain create such hopeful imagery?
Manny: I certainly couldn't paint like that if my mother was dying of consumption. The last time she had a cold, I could barely arrange the flowers on the front table.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: You know what I found so interesting? Was that the first painting and the last painting were so similar, and I think that that was intentional, a comment on the perpetual motion of life.
Alex: The first painting was the last painting. We walked in a circle.
Mitchell: Are you sure?
Alex: Yeah.

Quote from Claire

Claire: Ta-da.
Gloria: Claire, you look beautiful. You're glowing.
Claire: I'm not glowing. I'm sweating.
Gloria: Come on. Look at yourself in the mirror. Don't tell me that you don't feel gorgeous and special.
Claire: Wow. You're right. I am radiant. Oh, it's like I'm in a In a fairy tale or a dream. Oh!
Gloria: Lies! You're faking it.
Claire: Well, I'm sorry! Look who raised me. I am my father's daughter. And also kind of his son. And I lied about that being Luke's shirt. I bought it for myself in three colors. I am trying to help you out here, Gloria, but this just isn't me.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [on the phone] What sort of princess?
Claire: The kind that dances with beasts and won't marry Gaston.
Mitchell: Really?
Claire: It's the only dress she likes.
Cameron: What?
Mitchell: Lily wants to come to the wedding as Belle.
Cameron: Makes sense. She went to Pepper's seder as "Dora the Explorer".
Mitchell: I- It's fine.
Claire: Are you sure?
Mitchell: Yes. Yes. A- As long as she's happy. A gay wedding is hardly the place to stop someone from being who they want to be.

Quote from Manny

Cameron: Hey, what are you doing out here?
Manny: You guys invited us so we could spend the day together. It felt wrong that you two are out here and I was in there all alone with Alex.
Mitchell: Couldn't keep up, could you?
Manny: She knows everything. She made a docent cry.
Cameron: It's okay. We're faking it, too.
Manny: Well, duh.

Quote from Haley

Alex: What's Andy doing here?
Haley: They're making a video for his girlfriend.
Alex: Yeah? What's it called, "Dorks in Space"?
Haley: Oh, it was actually sweet. It's weird. There's something about him. You know what I mean?
Alex: Yeah, he's just like Dad.
Haley: Ew, ew, ew!

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: There's no denying it is original, but you can see the influence of Pollock. While the pattern seems haphazard and random, it belies a purposefulness a- An intentionality.
Cameron: You know, I think what I'm responding to is the clashing juxtaposition of color, the bright yellow against the dark background. It's like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak world.
Manny: If I may take a contrary position, I think it speaks to the absurdity and folly of human endeavor. Like our futile struggle for perfection.
Alex: I get it. I got mustard on my shirt. Get over it.
Cameron: I know we're joking, but all kidding aside, it really does remind me of Kandinsky's... [Alex squirts mustard in Cameron's face] Oh!


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