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‘Whanex?’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Modern Family: Whanex?

1013. Whanex?

Aired January 23, 2019

Jay laments the loss of the old way of doing business. Cameron is hoping for a promotion at work, but will be take the noble path to get it? Meanwhile, Gloria tricks Phil and Joe into auditioning for a ad campaign.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Well, yeah, but college isn't necessarily the right path for every-
Principal Brown: Tucker, are you familiar with the term "Golden Apple"?
Cameron: I am. I'm a little surprised it's made its way into the straight vernacular. It's still illegal in Alabama.

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Quote from Jay

Jay: Can't we have this meeting in the conference room? You know, where we all sit around a table, there's a nice breakfast spread? I am tired of having to keep cream cheese in my desk.

Quote from Luke

Cameron: All right. We heard from our college-going sheep. Now, Luke, you wisely took a gap year, got a job, made mad stacks, and invested a little, correct?
Luke: Totally. I own 300 microrubels, a Russian cryptocurrency I heard about on Facebook, which currently, you can only use to buy a Chechen party drug called Frankenstein.

Quote from Jay

Claire: Hey, Dad, our video conference is about to start.
Jay: Can we make it fast? I have that sales meeting offsite. Hence the power threads and box of cigars.
Claire: Whoa! Dad, it's 10:00 in the morning. Mm.Ohh!
Jay: I don't swallow it. He smells it on my breath, he lets his guard down. In minutes, I'm taking him in a way that would make a prison guard blush. It's the way gentlemen do business.
Claire: Well, I am sorry to ruin your Glengarry, Glenlivet fun, but that meeting got canceled.

Quote from Jay

Claire: Dad, you know why we do it this way. We have people working here. We've got people working from home. We've got people working all over the world. Tiffany is in Berlin at KlausetSchvarg.
Jay: They still have that conference? I thought they shut that down in the '80s after we used that sweater hutch to smuggle that dissident out during East KlausetSchvarg.

Quote from Manny

Cameron: Now, Manny, no one can doubt the real-world value of an art degree, but talk a little bit about the exciting social scene.
Manny: It's funny you ask. I went to a wine and cheese mixer at the Dean's house the other night. He collects instruments of indigenous people. And by the time we killed the last bit of a chewy Zinfandel, our jam sesh started to sound like a didgeri-don't. [chuckles] Thank you.

Quote from Jay

Claire: Dad, we can bail on the whole thing.
Jay: You know what I need to bail on? Being such a little peach.
Claire: Hmm?
Jay: What? They bruise easily. It could be an expression. I don't know.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Two sisters, two paths. Graduation, procreation. The world on a string, a baby and no ring.
Haley: Uh, you... you said you were happy for me. You said a baby would bring me limitless joy.
Cameron: And a limited bank account.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Welcome. Most of you know me as Acting Vice Principal Tucker, but today, I am your guide to the future... [quieter] the future... the future.
Mitchell: Okay, so you didn't take my note on the echo.
Cameron: Mitchell, I can't take another negative voice in my head. I'm already freaking out about Principal Brown.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I kind of have a bully at school.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Hey, world, there's a new power couple on the horizon.
Mitchell: Yeah.
Cameron: Cam and Mitch. Citch... No, that sounds weird. Mam...
Mitchell: We'll find it.

Quote from Phil

Gloria: Thank you so much for helping out with Joe.
Joe: You don't think it's too flashy?
Phil: What are you talking about? You're taking a magic class. You want to show them you're serious. It's abracadabra, not abraca-drab-ra.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [aside to camera] I saw that poster last week. It kind of reminded me of a long time ago when I used to do a little modeling. I guess I miss it. I tricked Phil into going to the mall because I knew that Jay wouldn't do it with me.

Quote from Joe

Gloria: Oh, come on, guys. This is gonna be so much fun.
Joe: I don't know. This kid in my class did a cough syrup commercial. Now he's always going to the teachers' lounge to call his manager. He's the worst.

Quote from Cameron

Principal Brown: Well, looks like you're gonna get a pretty solid turnout, Tucker. Now close the deal. Hey, what is, uh, "whanex"?
Cameron: It's the way the kids say "What's next?" You know, if you want to reach them, you have to learn to speak their language.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Massive screw-up at the print shop. I-I have no idea how it happened!
[flashback:]
Cameron: [on the phone] Yeah, that's right. The banner should read... [eating a protein bar] whanex. Okay. Yeah, whanex. Uh-huh.

Quote from Luke

Cameron: Welcome, students, to the first annual "whanex" seminar. Let's, uh, just jump right into it and meet our panelists. We have two bright, young people who chose the college path and two wayward souls whose mistakes we can only hope to learn from.
Luke: 'Sup, Dolphins?

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