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‘Finale Part 1’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Modern Family: Finale Part 1

1117. Finale Part 1

Aired April 8, 2020

Mitchell and Cam settle in on their new normal, and Phil and Claire decide that one of the kids needs to move out in order to take control of the house again. Meanwhile, as Gloria becomes more successful at work, she notices Jay, Manny and Joe don't seem to need her as much.

Quote from Ronaldo

Ronaldo: Mitchell! I love this house! Do you love it? Say you love it.
Mitchell: I do. I love it. I love the flow. I love the lights. I love the location. There... There's even a karaoke room in the basement.
Ronaldo: [gasps] So fun! The last time I had a hot Mike in my basement... You know what? I'm gonna wait till there are more people here.
Mitchell: Oh, oh, the baby's awake. Do... Do you want to meet him?
Ronaldo: I do. I can ask him if he liked our gift. We never heard.

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Quote from Phil

Phil: Yep! Gonna lose a toenail. There goes sandal season!

Quote from Jay

Jay: Ta-da! [all gasp] He's an old-time barkeep. Now, check it out. He's a big guy, like Cam, and he's got red hair, like you!
Mitchell: Dad! This is exactly what we needed... a little whimsy! I love it!
Gloria: No, you don't. Other gays, tell him. [all speak supportively]
Jay: We're gonna have so much fun with this guy. We can throw a-an Uncle Sam hat on him for the 4th of July, a pilgrim hat for Thanksgiving.
Mitchell: Or a rainbow wig for... for Pride.
Jay: Well, it's a piece of art. I don't think you want to make it silly.
Mitchell: So, does this, uh, big fella have a name?
Jay: Sure does. Since he's a combo of Cam and Mitch, he's Kitsch.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: How are you feeling?
Jay: Uh, it's gonna be weird without them being here all the time. Plus, they got the new kid. Poor guy's gonna grow up with those Missouri closets, thinking that's normal.

Quote from Dylan

Dylan: Now that they don't test on animals, I've made extra money doing clinical trials at work. The hours are long, but the mazes are fun.

Quote from Dylan

Claire: Who made macaroni and cheese and left it out?
Dylan: Sorry, Mrs. D. That was me and Luke. But in our defense, we were high and got spooked by your German dishwasher.

Quote from Cameron

[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: It's been a weird and wonderful month.
Cameron: We adopted a baby boy.
Mitchell: Yeah, and we moved into a new home, which we love so much, we named our son after our street. Rexford.
Cameron: Rex Tucker-Pritchett. With a name like that, he can be anything he wants... a quarterback, a running back, a middle linebacker.
Mitchell: Oh, he... he's got big feet. Maybe he could be a kicker.
Cameron: Why don't you believe in him, Mitchell?

Quote from Haley

Alex: Eh. Arvin doesn't see me that way. I mean, d-does he, do you think?
Haley: Yes! He gets all nervous and yammery when he's around you. How do you still not know you're a babe?
Alex: Well, I mean, you did call me a frumpy nerd for 20 years.
Haley: Well, I didn't stop because I got nicer.

Quote from Joe

Manny: It's not my fault. I tried to stop him.
Gloria: Stop who? What happened? [gasps] Ay, your hair! Where is it?!
Joe: Dad took me to his barber. It was so cool! Have you heard of Playboy?

Quote from Manny

Jay: Check this out.
Gloria: Oh, my God!
Jay: [laughs] See? You don't get that reaction from a picture of a dusty guy picking oranges on Sunset Boulevard.
Gloria: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
Joe: But I like my hair!
Gloria: No, not you, sweetie. You're perfect. And no woman will ever deserve you.
Manny: Hey, I don't know if you journal, but you might want to dog-ear today's page for your future therapist.

Quote from Joe

Gloria: Jay, you can't be buying home décor things for gays. Mitch and Cam are going to hate this thing!
Jay: No, they won't. The guys are gonna love it. Just like Joe loves his haircut.
Gloria: Ay. Everybody's gonna think that he has lice.
Joe: I hope not. Bad hygiene is one of Miss September's three biggest turn-offs.

Quote from Luke

Alex: I-I just took a huge salary cut. So it is really not a good time for me to move.
Luke: Me neither. I just took a leave of absence from work to spend more time with my family.

Quote from Dylan

Haley: Well, I have two babies and a special needs husband.
Dylan: It's true. I have a medical condition that requires a room big enough for a giant mattress.
Haley: He sleep-wiggles.

Quote from Alex

Haley: Well, Alex is the one that has the most education.
Alex: [scoffs] I shouldn't be penalized for being smart. I'm not running for president.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Okay, I hope the big earthquake that we're long overdue for doesn't hit while you're down there!
Ronaldo: You're being so negative. What is wrong with you?
Cameron: Okay, look, I have to tell someone, but you cannot repeat it to anyone, especially Mitchell!
Ronaldo: Oh.
Cameron: I just got offered the football job that I wanted in Missouri.
Ronaldo: But you just moved in!
Cameron: I know.
Ronaldo: With a newborn!
Cameron: I know!
Ronaldo: And you were the one pushing for both!
Cameron: I don't need a recap! It's my crisis!

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