Previous Episode Next Episode 
The Last Thanksgiving

‘The Last Thanksgiving’

Season 11, Episode 7 -  Aired November 20, 2019

Cameron and Mitchell’s friends mistakenly assume they have split up and have definitely chosen a side, and Haley attempts to cook Thanksgiving dinner as a thank you for Claire and Phil’s support with the twins. Meanwhile, Jay invites Phil and Dylan out to fly his model plane, and Phil thinks this is his chance to reclaim his dignity after their first outing 10 years ago went so wrong.

Quote from Longinus

Longinus: Well, girl, come on in. Let's get you two drinks... one for each empty hand you showed up to the party with.


Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Okay, we still need wine, cheese, flowers... Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.
Cameron: Yeah, and we need a hostess gift for Longinus' Friendsgiving party. You know, she does not look kindly on an empty-handed guest.
Mitchell: [sighs] It's too much.
Cameron: I know. But what do you expect from somebody who changed their name from Larry Jones to Longinus St. Germaine?
Mitchell: No, I mean this list. Okay, we're only making it to my dad's by 4:00 if we blow off the hostess formerly known as Larry.
Cameron: No! His party's my favorite thing about Thanksgiving! Like, when we all go around the table and say one thing we're thankful for not wearing this year.

Quote from Ronaldo

Mitchell: Oh! Hi, Ronaldo. What... Let me guess. Those are for Longinus?
Ronaldo: Oh, I would never get something this shabby for that judgy queen. No, my mom is in the hospital.

Quote from Haley

Haley: [aside to camera] Mom and Dad have been incredible... letting me, Dylan, and the twins live with them, helping with midnight feedings, bedtime stories. Dylan loves it when my dad does the voices. So, I'm giving my mom a break from cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to do something special to thank them for being there for me. [voice breaking] I'm sorry. I've just, um... I've become such a beautiful person.

Quote from Jay

Phil: Happy Thanksgiving, Jay. Oh, I can slide over if you want to watch this with me.
Jay: Nah. I never saw the point of a parade without tanks.

Quote from Phil

Jay: I'm gonna take the plane out for a spin. You want to come with?
Phil: Me? Go... fly?
[aside to camera:]
Phil: I played it cool, but I was pretty jazzed. [laughs] It's been 10 years since Jay asked me to go model-plane flying with him, and I was, uh... I was eager to replace that memory with a... a be... a better one.

Quote from Phil

Dylan: Where are you guys going?
Phil: Oh, nowhere special. Let's just say that Jay's asked me to join his mile high club.
Jay: Let's not say that.

Quote from Dylan

Dylan: Cool! You know, years ago, I almost joined the female-dominated world of flight attendants. My fellow nurses still needle me about it. [chuckles] Can I come?
Phil: Uh, actually, Jay's pretty particular about...
Jay: Sure, why not?
Dylan: Looks like we're having a threesome!
Phil: You're embarrassing yourself.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh, what kind of pie did you get, pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh?
Mitchell: Flourless chocolate cake. Let's see you try and country that up.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh. My phone's in my pocket. Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.
Mitchell: Yep. Alright.
Cameron: Who is it?
Mitchell: Oh, it's from Jotham. "Just heard. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" What's that about?
Cameron: I have no idea.
Mitchell: Oh, L'Michael. "Sending all my love, Camembert. Call me."
Cameron: What?
Mitchell: Artemis. "Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell. Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji, Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF."
Cameron: What did Ronaldo tell him?
Mitchell: No clue. I-I just saw him here, and he asked where you were, and I told him that we split up to shop and that... Oh, my God. He thinks we actually split up.
Cameron: Oh, and it's gone viral. Well, there are two things a gay can't sit on... a plastic patio chair and a juicy bit of gossip.

Page 2