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‘A Moving Day’ Quotes

Modern Family: A Moving Day

1011. A Moving Day

Aired January 9, 2019

Claire and Phil worry that Haley and Dylan aren't ready when they move into a new apartment before the baby arrives. When Pam gets out of prison, she has a bone to pick with Mitchell. Meanwhile, Gloria feels that Sherry is bossing Manny around.

Quote from Dylan

Phil: Oh, can you believe it, Claire? Our little girl is growing up.
Claire: Yeah, it seems like just yesterday we were carrying all these boxes downstairs after she got arrested and kicked out of college.
Haley: [chuckles] Ah.
Dylan: Yeah, I've been through a lot, too. I've been a limo driver, a lead singer, a ranch hand, a Dapper Dan at Disneyland, a t-shirt designer, a sign spinner and now a nursing student with a baby on the way. It's all going according to plan.

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Quote from Phil

Phil: Tiny-homes are very trendy these days. And, by the way, it's what I called my short, black best friend in high school.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hey, you guys. I packed up some dishes for the new house. I even found your old sippy cup for when the little one comes along.
Haley: Aww.
Dylan: Thanks, Mr. D.
Haley: Thanks, Dad. Is, uh, Mom still in there making that judgy face?
Phil: Haley, you've known her for years. Just call it her face.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Haley's pregnancy is off to a rough start. Nausea, moodiness, trouble sleeping... Claire's got it all. Me, I'm just trying to keep the peace here in Hormone Town.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Claire, look at the positive. One of our kids is finally moving out.
Claire: After her pregnancy test, I've had enough positives.
Phil: Kind of reminds me of two other unmarried, pregnant, lovestruck kids who moved in together about... 25 years ago.
Claire: It's not the same.
Phil: I don't know. Acid-wash their jeans and put a dream catcher in Dylan's ear, and it's exactly the same.

Quote from Pam

Cal: Momma!
Pam: [gasps] There's my little chicken nugget! Ooh, my goodness! I missed you so much. How have you been?
Cal: They read to me every night.
Pam: Aw, don't worry, baby. That's all over now.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Hey, great news. My Sausage of the Month arrived a day early. You get to be here for the un-boxing.
Gloria: I'm not gonna film it this time.
Jay: Kielbasa, yes! They took my suggestion again.
Gloria: I told you it's not a suggestion. The web page is just asking you to choose one.

Quote from Dylan

Haley: Ta-da!
Dylan: Welcome to 14 and 7/8ths Fletcher Ave.

Quote from Dylan

Phil: Hey, we got you guys a housewarming gift. It's a decorative pineapple because, uh, pineapples are a symbol of good luck.
Dylan: Thanks, Mr. D. That's way better than our giant cherry. That's just a symbol of a clean toilet.

Quote from Dylan

Claire: It's... It's not a skylight. There's a hole in your roof.
Phil: Cool, I always wanted to learn how to install a skylight. I guess today's the day.
Dylan: Have you also always wanted to move an electrical outlet that's currently in the shower?
Phil: Well, that can't be code.
Dylan: It's not. I'm telling you exactly what's going on.

Quote from Dylan

Dylan: Dr. Singh, that is some exquisite gel work, and I say that as a soon-to-be nurse and someone who wears a lot of product in his hair.

Quote from Haley

Dr. Singh: [thudding] There's the heartbeat.
Haley: Oh, it... it sounds so fast, is everything okay?
Dylan: No, that's good. That's the way a baby's heart should sound.
Dr. Singh: He's right. It's the sound of a very healthy... oh!
Both: What?
Dr. Singh: [thudding] There's a second heartbeat.
Haley: A baby with two hearts? I didn't know I was pregnant when I ate that brownie!

Quote from Phil

Jay: How's the move going?
Phil: So good. Really good. Good, good, good, good.
Jay: That's good.
Phil: No, it's not. It's a disaster. The place is too small. Everything needs fixing. I'm trying to stay calm, but... There's a hole in the ceiling, Jay... A hole in the ceiling. Rain is gonna fall on the crib. What... What happens if a... an owl picks up a-a pinecone and drops it? My grandchild's gonna get hit with a pinecone!
Jay: Don't be silly. What would an owl be doing with a pinecone? At the most, it would be a mouse or a baby gopher.

Quote from Jay

Phil: I think I see what you're saying. If I can become awesome, so can Dylan.
Jay: That's not what I'm saying. Who the hell knows what's gonna happen? Let me tell you something about life. We all have this illusion that we're in control. I wanted to play pro football, some guy takes my knee out. I graduate from school, I'm gonna drive my motorcycle across the country, and some suit pulls my draft number. I worked my ass off to send my daughter to college, some juggler knocks her up.
Phil: Again, sir, I'm very sorry about that.
Jay: I put in the years, I build my business so I don't have to answer to anyone, and I still have to jump through hoops to get a damn sausage.
Phil: You lost me there at that last part.
Jay: Look, all I'm saying is things are always gonna change, and you have to deal with it. But the good news is, five years from now while you're playing with your grandkid, you won't even remember today.


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