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‘Leap Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Modern Family: Leap Day

317. Leap Day

Aired February 29, 2012

On Leap Day, Mitchell tries to throw Cameron a knockout birthday party to make up for a disappointment four years earlier. Meanwhile, Jay questions whether he's lost some of his machismo, and Phil sabotages his own plans for the day with his inconsiderate treatment of Claire, Haley and Alex.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Leap day is stupid.
Jay: You're not understanding the logic behind it. A year is actually 365.25 days. Every four years, we gain one day. If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years, February would almost be January.
Gloria: That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem.

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Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Happy Birthday to me.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I'm 10!
Mitchell: 40!
Cameron: I was born February 29th, and there have been ten of those in my lifetime, therefore I'm 10! It's fun.
Mitchell: It's so much fun.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] I totally missed the connection. A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: Look at this. The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink. I can't wear this to a sports bar.
Gloria: Mm, they're to going to be looking at you, Jay.
Jay: Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself.
Gloria: They're going to be watching the match.
Jay: You meant you a little bit.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Yeah, you know, it's been a month, and she hasn't heard anything, and she's just beside herself. And then you know what else? Lily succumbed to her injuries.
Mitchell: Your aunt Lily died?
Cameron: No, the family pig. Aunt Lily was a-
Mitchell: We named our daughter after a pig?
Cameron: Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing?

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: The sooner I can start to party, the sooner I can start to forget.
Mitchell: But then again, hey, if you keep running from every reminder of the tornado, doesn't the tornado win?
Cameron: Mitchell, my grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning because he thinks the pitchfork is gonna come back down. The tornado always wins.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh?
Manny: Didn't happen, and common decency prevents me from telling you why. How was the soccer match?
Jay: Thrilling. 1-1 tie. One of the goals was an accident.

Quote from Luke

Luke: Ugh! It smells like puke married poop and had the ceremony in my nose.
Manny: You paint with words.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] Suddenly, it all made sense. Cam's craziness all day wasn't about a party. It was about turning 40. And once he realized that, everything got much worse.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Come on, boys! It's leap day, not sleep day! Whoo!
[aside to camera:]
Phil: I love Leap Day!
Claire: It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house. This year, we even got Manny involved.
Phil: You're given this gift of 24 extra hours. You can't waste it at work or school. You have to do something extraordinary, something shocking.
Claire: Mm. This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class.
Phil: How extraordinary is that?
Claire: It was my idea.
Phil: How shocking is that?
Claire: I can be spontaneous every four years.
Phil: I can't wait.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Okay, birthday boy, what's it gonna be, romcom or horror? Or we can do both and watch "Maid in Manhattan." Whatcha doing?
Cameron: Canceling our baby.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: I know party planning isn't your thing.
Lily: Wow.
Mitchell: You need to trust me, Cam.
Cameron: I know, and I do. It's not like you're gonna do anything tired, like appletinis or ice sculptures. Or synthetic napkins or anything mylar.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: You know orange is over, right?

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] Yeah, just a simple party. I'm simply taking Cam's favorite movie, "The Wizard of Oz," and turning our house into an Oz-themed extravaganza. Yellow brick carpet, waitstaff in full costume, and custom-made Ruby slippers for Cam. Whassup?!

Quote from Manny

Manny: So is this safe?
Luke: It's a trapeze.
Phil: Relax. More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers than from trapezing.
Manny: I'm thinking about going home now.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Well, let me make a suggestion. Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer, my wife and I watch from over there? That way, everybody enjoys the game. Except me, 'cause I prefer a game where something happens.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: I get the impression you're disappointed I didn't punch that guy.
Gloria: Of course not. Who needs all that manly, protect-your-woman stuff?
Jay: No, see, like, right there. You're saying one thing, but it feels like you mean the opposite.
Gloria: No.
Jay: That's a "yes."
Gloria: Look, Jay, I just came to watch the game. I don't want to fight.
Jay: Neither do I.
Gloria: I know.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Buddy, what's wrong?
Manny: Yes, you've been a little off all morning.
Luke: I've been feeling a lot of stress lately. My head's all foggy, and I'm kind of emotional.
Phil: Oh. Well, I sure hope you feel better soon 'cause you really need your wits about you when you're trapezing.

Quote from Claire

Claire: [aside to camera] Why does he do that? Every month. Yeah, I get a little moody, but unrelenting physical discomfort will do that to a person. Doesn't he know that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy makes them crazy?

Quote from Mitchell

Party Planner: Okay, we have a few options. I can get you the back room at Amelia's.
Mitchell: Spilled juice on the owner's white rug and almost killed her toddler. Next.

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