‘Leap Day’
Season 3, Episode 17 - Aired February 29, 2012
On Leap Day, Mitchell tries to throw Cameron a knockout birthday party to make up for a disappointment four years earlier. Meanwhile, Jay questions whether he's lost some of his machismo, and Phil sabotages his own plans for the day with his inconsiderate treatment of Claire, Haley and Alex.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Leap day is stupid.
Jay: You're not understanding the logic behind it. A year is actually 365.25 days. Every four years, we gain one day. If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years, February would almost be January.
Gloria: That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] I totally missed the connection. A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Happy Birthday to me.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I'm 10!
Mitchell: 40!
Cameron: I was born February 29th, and there have been ten of those in my lifetime, therefore I'm 10! It's fun.
Mitchell: It's so much fun.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Look at this. The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink. I can't wear this to a sports bar.
Gloria: Mm, they're not going to be looking at you, Jay.
Jay: Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself.
Gloria: They're going to be watching the match.
Jay: You meant you a little bit.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Yeah, you know, it's been a month, and she hasn't heard anything, and she's just beside herself. And then you know what else? Lily succumbed to her injuries.
Mitchell: Your aunt Lily died?
Cameron: No, the family pig. Aunt Lily was a-
Mitchell: We named our daughter after a pig?
Cameron: Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing?
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: The sooner I can start to party, the sooner I can start to forget.
Mitchell: But then again, hey, if you keep running from every reminder of the tornado, doesn't the tornado win?
Cameron: Mitchell, my grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning because he thinks the pitchfork is gonna come back down. The tornado always wins.
Quote from Jay
Jay: Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh?
Manny: Didn't happen, and common decency prevents me from telling you why. How was the soccer match?
Jay: Thrilling. 1-1 tie. One of the goals was an accident.
Quote from Luke
Luke: Ugh! It smells like puke married poop and had the ceremony in my nose.
Manny: You paint with words.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] Suddenly, it all made sense. Cam's craziness all day wasn't about a party. It was about turning 40. And once he realized that, everything got much worse.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Come on, boys! It's leap day, not sleep day! Whoo!
[aside to camera:]
Phil: I love Leap Day!
Claire: It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house. This year, we even got Manny involved.
Phil: You're given this gift of 24 extra hours. You can't waste it at work or school. You have to do something extraordinary, something shocking.
Claire: Mm. This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class.
Phil: How extraordinary is that?
Claire: It was my idea.
Phil: How shocking is that?
Claire: I can be spontaneous every four years.
Phil: I can't wait.