Alex Dunphy Quotes Page 1 of 7
Quote from En Garde
Haley: No! No, no, no, no, no! Phone died!
Alex: No biggie. Your battery probably just statically defracticated.
Alex: It means you can recharge it with static electricity. Just rub it on your hair.
Quote from Baby on Board
Michael: You look flawless.
Michael: Did I not say coral was the color for you? Look what it does for your skin. Hi!
Phil: Hi, buddy.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn't know it yet, so I'm basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.
Quote from Truth Be Told
Alex: Hey, Luke. Big day for you, huh?
Alex: Because you will get to meet your real mom.
Luke: What? [scoffs]
Alex: We all made a pact we'd deny it until you turned 21. But that's the real reason Dad's old girlfriend's coming over. She's your mom, and if she likes you, you'll go live with her.
Luke: I'm not adopted. I'm asking Mom.
Alex: You mean Mrs. Dunphy? She's not going to tell you the truth.
Quote from Lifetime Supply
Cameron: Oh, that looks great up there! How impressed are you with your uncle right now?
Alex: So impressed.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: I didn't wanna ruin their moment by telling them how many awards I've gotten, but let's just say I don't get out of bed for a trophy that size.
Quote from Phil's Sexy, Sexy House
Claire: Oh, Alex!
Claire: Reuben again? He wore a Batman cape to the first day of high school!
Alex: You're really judging me right now when you look like a hooker at Comic-Con?
Quote from After the Fire
Alex: Problem here, boys?
Luke: These geeks won't give us back our helicopter that we took from Reuben.
Alex: Is that right, Abraham?
Boy: Oh, my God. She knows your name.
Alex: Helicopter, please.
Abraham: I love you.
Haley: What just happened?
Alex: You have your fans, I have mine. Some day, your fans are going to work for my fans.
Quote from Little Bo Bleep
Alex: Mom, just be confident.
Claire: Mm-hmm? Based on what? I just lost a debate in my living room, and people think I'm unlikable.
Alex: That's just the word men use for powerful women because they feel threatened. So just forget everything else and be proud and powerful.
Claire: How did you get so smart?
Alex: I've always assumed adoption or baby switch.
Quote from Tableau Vivant
Claire: Honey, do you think you're nervous because you've got a little crush on Mr. Jarvis?
Claire: Are you sure? Because I've seen the way you look at him-
Alex: Sounds like you're the one with the crush! I've just never had a teacher not like me before.
Phil: Well, Ms. Davis.
Alex: Please. She's a gym teacher. She is to teaching what Dr. Seuss is to medicine.
Claire: And to think she didn't like you.
Quote from When a Tree Falls
Alex: [aside to camera] Last summer, my sister took a totally humiliating photo of me. Then she posted it to Facebook and refused to take it down. It got 873 likes. Meanwhile, there's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mug shots were cute. Today, I get my revenge. One photo of Haley, dirty, sweaty, picking up trash like a criminal. It'll be my finest moment. In a few years, I hope to have some more friends and not have time for this kind of stuff.
Quote from The Future Dunphys
Alex: I need caffeine today.
Claire: You can have juice. How late were you at that party last night?
Haley: Oh, please. She snuck in at 10:00 and spent all night reading under the covers with a flashlight.
Claire: Alex, what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.
Quote from Goodnight, Gracie
Alex: "This is a lighter. It belonged to my favorite actor, Paul Newman. One day, he came into the restaurant where I was waitressing and accidentally left it behind. For the first time in my life, I did something I wasn't supposed to and slipped it into my pocket. One of the customers saw and said, 'Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.' That customer turned out to be the love of my life, your grandfather. So, my Alex, who I love so dearly, who is probably too much like me for her own good, every once in a while, don't be afraid to break the rules. You never know what can happen."
Quote from The Wedding (Part 1)
Alex: [aside to camera] My dad would never admit this, but when he wants fun he goes straight to Luke. They have a weird connection. They're like Batman and Robin. Dad and I are more like Batman and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Quote from Finding Fizbo
Alex: 110 pages? What time are we supposed to get out of here?
Claire: Oh, honey, you got a hot date tonight?
Haley: Mom, don't be mean. Ignore her.
[aside to camera:]
Alex: I actually am in a relationship, but I've been hiding it from everybody because I have once again chosen somebody that is completely inappropriate. It's this older guy Ben. He works for my mother, and he lives with his mother. I'm like a moth to a flame if the flame is an underachieving man-child with a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his butt.
Quote from Yard Sale
Alex: [aside to camera] Yes, when Michael took me to prom, I questioned his sexuality. But then we made out. A couple times. There was even a little under-the-shirt action. His chest is very smooth.
Quote from See You Next Fall
Alex: It's ironic that I stand up here representing my classmates when... they're so awesome. They should be up here themselves. But I'm up here and... I'm sayin' stuff... 'cause... everybody's got their stuff, whether you're popular or a drama geek, or a cheerleader or even a nerd like me. We all have our insecurities.
Cameron: Yes, we do.
Alex: We're all just trying to figure out who we are. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't stop believin'. Get this party started.
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