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‘Manny Get Your Gun’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Modern Family: Manny Get Your Gun

208. Manny Get Your Gun

Aired November 17, 2010

Before the family gathers at a restaurant to celebrate Manny's birthday, Phil and Claire race to get there the quickest, Jay and Gloria fall out over a set of missing keys, and Cameron and Mitch are distracted at a mall. Meanwhile, the birthday boy feels he's missed out on his childhood.

Quote from Claire

Luke: Don't cry, Mom.
Claire: I am not crying. Let me fill you in on a little secret, Luke. When I met your dad, I was fun too. But I had to give all that up, because you can't have two fun parents. That's a carnival. You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents. Mark my words. Mm-hmm.

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Quote from Manny

Manny: [on the phone] Uh, yes, hello. Is Seymour Butts there?
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I never made a prank call, never mixed different sodas together to see what they'd taste like. So I knew I had to make the most of what little childhood I had left.
[back:]
Manny: Not Lutz. I'm looking for Butts. Yes, I'm trying to get ahold of Butts. Very funny. I don't have time for this foolishness.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I like being on time. It's easy, 'cause I'm organized. Not my wife. You'd think growing up in a place full of death squads and drunken uncles she'd have learned to move a little bit faster.
Gloria: [entering] Ay. Sorry, sorry. I couldn't find my earring. So what were we talking about, huh?

Quote from Phil

Claire: Honey, come on. We're gonna be late. Let's go.
Phil: Yeah, yeah, just filling out the application to family camp.
Claire: Oh.
Phil: You don't win the Dirty Dancing competition and not go back to defend your crown.
Claire: Mmm. That's right. Come on, honey.
Phil: But shoot for the king you'd better kill him.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Every summer we spend a week at family camp. It's just like regular camp, but with the family!
Claire: Yeah. I don't think that needed any clarification, Phil.
Phil: Somebody's still a little touchy about losing last year's color war.
Claire: Not.
Phil: She was on Team Blue or as I like to refer to them, as Team Blue-ser. And I was on white. And if you ain't white, you ain't right.
Claire: Phil! Have you learned nothing?

Quote from Jay

Gloria: My keys are nowhere. We're gonna have to go in your car.
Jay: It's in the shop. Where was the last place you put your keys?
Gloria: So now it's my fault? Where was the last place you put my keys?
Jay: In your hand, when I bought you the car.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Hey, Jay, on the box it says ages 16 and up. Is this an appropriate gift for me?
Jay: Are you kidding me? You were born 16.

Quote from Luke

Claire: Are you seeing this? We are making every light, and we don't even have to speed. The system works.
Luke: Mom?
Claire: I know. I went a little fast back there. But really, 40 is the same as 35.
Luke: You say that a lot.

Quote from Luke

Luke: You're fun too, Mom.
Claire: Uh-huh.
Luke: I just decided to go with Dad because I think he'd need me more.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: How come I do all the looking and you do all the sitting?
Jay: 'Cause you do all the losing.
Gloria: Oh, and you're this close of doing all the sleeping in a tent in the backyard.

Quote from Manny

Jay: That a skateboard down there?
Manny: The second thing that slipped right out from under me today.
Jay: Okay, time to get out.
Manny: The first was my childhood.
Jay: I get it!

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: I am so sick of stubborn men. You, you act like a little boy that doesn't want to accept that he's wrong. And you like a sad old man that doesn't want to be happy! That's it! [shoots pool inflatable]
Manny: You could have shot me!
Gloria: Come on, Manny. I could've unbuttoned your shirt if I wanted to. Now come here or sink! And I'm taking this with me in the car.
Jay: Vamonos.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Tell me the truth, Jay. Did you put the key in my bag?
Jay: No.
Gloria: I won't be mad.
Jay: In order to prove a point, I may have-
Gloria: I knew it!
Jay: Oh! Ow! Why did I get you such a big watch?
Gloria: Why, Jay? What point do you have to prove?
Jay: I'm trying to teach you to be organized. Your mind is scattered, Gloria.
Gloria: Your mind is gonna be scattered! Manny, hand me the gun!

Quote from Manny

Manny: They say it's going to be a rainy weekend.
Jay: They don't know.
Manny: I do. My knee's been singing all morning.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Good afternoon. Thanks for coming. It's so nice to spend my birthday surrounded by so many smiling faces. I was almost too depressed to come today. I realized I let my childhood slip away.

Quote from Luke

Claire: Come on, everybody! We're gonna be late for Manny's birthday. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!
Luke: I'm ready, Mom.
Claire: You sure, honey?
Luke: Yup.
Claire: Wanna take a quick peek at your feet?
Luke: Oh, come on, Luke.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Are you gonna walk faster, or should I get Lily's stroller out of the car and push you?
Cameron: Would you relax? The restaurant's five minutes away from here. Oh, free lotion.
Mitchell: Stop stopping to smell the roses.

Quote from Haley

Phil: Claire, relax. It takes 15 minutes to get there.
Claire: It takes 20 minutes.
Phil: If we take your route.
Claire: My way is the most direct.
Phil: Directly into traffic.
Claire: Your way is directly into the... suckiest way.
Phil: You wanna make this interesting?
Haley: Yeah, I don't think that's possible.

Quote from Luke

Phil: We take two cars and see who gets there first.
Claire: Fine. Fine. Let's do that. It's on.
Phil: Yeah! It is on. I'll take the girls.
Claire: Luke, your dad and I are splitting up.
Luke: Why?
Alex: Another one of their stupid arguments.
Luke: Okay. I'll go with Dad.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Prepare to be... My shoes. Come on, Phil.

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