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‘Queer Eyes, Full Hearts’ Quotes

Modern Family: Queer Eyes, Full Hearts

607. Queer Eyes, Full Hearts

Aired November 12, 2014

Phil and Claire disagree over whether Haley and Andy spending time together is a worrying sign. Gloria is pushing Manny to learn Spanish, but he would rather take French class. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron meet a local news reporter who decides to make one of them the focus of a human interest story.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Because he wasn't even trying.
Manny: I'm sorry, but Spanish just doesn't seem natural to me. I don't like the way it hits my ear.
Gloria: What could be more natural than your mother's tongue in your ear?

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Quote from Andy

Andy: Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. Remember me?
Claire: Andy. Of course. Come on in. You are Joe's babysitter, right?
Andy: Uh, "manny" is what we call ourselves in the child care community. But it's confusing in that house because of their son Manny. So I've been trying to get traction with "bro-pair."

Quote from Cameron

Anne Gibbs: Are you working on this, too?
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No, no. I'm just this one's husband. I'm a High School football coach. Cameron Tucker.
Mitchell: Yes. Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. Mitchell Pritchett. How are you?
Anne Gibbs: Really? You are an openly gay High School football coach?
Cameron: I know, I know. You hear "football coach," and you expect to meet somebody that screams John Wayne. Meanwhile, the only time I've screamed the duke is when we argue over who's the cutest on "Downton Abbey."

Quote from Haley

Gavin Sinclair: Nikki, thank God you're here. Peel this orange for me.
Haley: Mr. Sinclair, it's Haley Dunphy. I was supposed to see you for the assistant job. I have been studying your work, and I have to say the looks that you did for New York Fashion Week put you-
Gavin Sinclair: Ah! I'm really too busy right now.
Haley: But I drove all the way down here. We had an appointment!
Gavin Sinclair: Yeah, I looked at your blog. It's a little too cutesy for me. I need someone with edge.
Haley: I have edge.
Gavin Sinclair: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb. Thanks for coming by, though.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Do you know how frustrating it is to have to translate everything in my head before I say it? To have people laugh in my face because I'm struggling to find the words? You should try talking in my shoes for one mile!
Jay: I think you meant-
Gloria: I know what I meant to mean. Do you even know how smart I am in Spanish? Of course you don't. For once, it would be nice to speak to someone in my own language in my own home.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh my gosh! Is that Anne Gibbs, the lady from channel 12 news?
Mitchell: Oh, my God! It's Anne Gibbs! Oh, I love her!
Cameron: That reaction would've been big if it was Anne Hathaway.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: So these homeless people are making a dollar an hour-
Anne Gibbs: Are there a lot of openly gay coaches?
Cameron: Oh, if the adult film industry's to be believed, they all are.

Quote from Cameron

Anne Gibbs: Has anyone ever approached you for a news segment?
Cameron: On me?! Oh, my gosh. No. I don't I don't think I'm interesting enough to do a news segment on. I mean, what would a reporter even say about me? That I'm a High School football coach with an undefeated record who's tackling stereotypes? That on my team, prejudice is considered out of bounds? That we're blitzing bigotry, kicking intolerance, and beating-
Mitchell: Metaphors to death?

Quote from Gloria

Jay: You guys wanna see something really cool?
Manny: Is it behind that old boat?
Jay: This is one of the most famous warships of all time. The "U.S.S. Constitution." Stayed in active duty 84 years. No enemy managed to board her.
Gloria: Ten seconds and she already bored me.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: That's your Spanish tutor.
Manny: I'm gonna say it one more time. I really think French will be a better fit for me.
Gloria: Your name is Manuel Alberto Javier Alejandro Delgado. How is French a better fit for you?
Manny: Okay, I'm pretty sure you threw in a name I've never heard before.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Hello.
Diego: Ah, ah! En español, por favor.
Manny: Okay, let's take it down a nacho.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: ¡Hola, Diego!
Diego: You must be Mr. Pritchett.
Jay: Jay. And I'm just glad you're here. Gloria tried to tutor Manny. There was less yelling in "The Miracle Worker."

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hey, Andy.
Andy: Hey, sir. Uh, Mr. Dunphy. Sorry. I didn't see you.
Phil: Andy, please. "Sir Mr. Dunphy" is my British name.
Andy: Oh, my you did not just think of that! [laughing]
Phil: Yes!

Quote from Phil

Claire: Haley is at a very low point in her life. It's the last thing she needs right now.
Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction? I remember a certain young lady was pretty addicted to "Ms. Pac-Man" until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather. It was a dream catcher. And it worked.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Which proves, Anne, you can score with a gay coach. Wait. Uh, can I try that again?
Anne Gibbs: No, that was great. Um, how does your spouse feel about you coaching?
Cameron: Oh, this one? He's my rock. He's- He's my Connie Britton.
Mitchell: Your- Your Connie Britton?
Cameron: Mrs. Coach on "Friday Night Lights."

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Do you have any idea how insulting you've been to me all morning?
Cameron: What, because I just compared you to Connie Britton? Mitchell, she was an equal to Coach Taylor. You'd know that if you saw the show.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: Did you sign something so that Manny could switch to French?
Jay: I did.
Gloria: You knew that I wanted him to learn Spanish.
Jay: I also know you can't force a kid to be interested in something that he's not. That's why I have a picture of Mitchell and his prom date shaking hands.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Uh, I'm a hard worker, I am very clean, I am eager to please, I take super quick bathroom breaks, and I will never, ever... Oh! I'm blanking on the verb! W- Uh, when you give up on something?
Phil: Quit?
Andy: I had to ask because I don't know the meaning of the word.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Hey. I think it's weird you don't like cutesy considering half your clients at the Grammys looked like they just stepped out of a My Little Pony fever dream.
Gavin Sinclair: That's good. But not at me. Never at me. Nikki, stop. There are five things wrong with Nikki's outfit. What are they?
Haley: Uh, she's standing right there.
Nikki: I'm dressed better than she is.
Haley: The tank gives you a uniboob. The watch is too big. The harem pants, the wedge boots, and come on, that belt? The '90s have been out for three years. And that's five. Now should I do you?

Quote from Alex

Alex: Claire? The words on the page are vibrating, and I can't make them stop. I forgot how to read!


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