The Goldbergs Quotes

The Goldbergs

The Goldbergs

A movie-obsessed teen documents his life growing up in an outrageous yet loving family in the 1980s.

Starring: Sean Giambrone, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Troy Gentile, Hayley Orrantia, Jeff Garlin, George Segal, Sam Lerner.
Recurring Actors: Bryan Callen, AJ Michalka, Tim Meadows, Matt Bush, Noah Munck, Shayne Topp, Kenny Ridwan, David Koechner.
Original Run: 2013-.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Beverly in Lame Gretzy

Erica: You know, I thought a lot about what you said, and I decided that Penn is a great choice for me.
Beverly: Oh, it's happening. We're going to Penn!
Erica: I know! I'm so excited that I decided to get a head start on my essay for their application. Here it is.
Beverly: "I believe that the University of Pennsylvania "is the right school for me because of its torkulent history and diligord reputation." Oh, boy.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Beverly in The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Beverly in Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Quote from Beverly in I Drank The Mold

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horse play. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.

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Trending Quotes

Quote from Barry in Yippee Ki Yay Melon Farmer

Beverly: Bill, I give up. Take my boy and do Christmas.
Bill Lewis: I don't wanna do Christmas.
Beverly: Oh, you have to do Christmas.
Bill Lewis: You can't force Christmas on me, you monster!
Lainey: Wait, did you not tell your mom we don't celebrate Christmas?
Beverly: What?
Barry: Funny story that I'll relay to you all privately and separately.

Quote from Murray in I Caddyshacked the Pool

Murray: Hey, how are you doing?
Adam: Why are you in my room?
Murray: Just came by to say hi, and (mumbles).
Adam: What?
Murray: (mumbles)
Adam: What?
Murray: Y'know, (mumbles "you've got a beautiful body").
Adam: See, you keep trailing off specifically at the end.
Murray: You've got a beautiful body! This body of yours, beautiful.
Adam: Don't ever tell me that again!
Murray: Deal. But, let's be truthful. You don't have a beautiful body.
Adam: Thanks.
Murray: You're in middle school. Your body, it's stinky and greasy, and it's growing too fast. And, when you talk, it's like a broken kazoo. Those days were horrible. I remember them, I really do.
Adam: Since when have you had a shred of insecurity about your body? You'll go anywhere in your Tighty-Whities.
Murray: That's now. When I was your age, I hated my body. The good news is, I grew up and life beat me down so hard, I eventually stopped caring. And some day, life will crap on you so hard that you'll stop caring too.
Adam: That's oddly reassuring.
Murray: Trust me. Eventually you'll realize it doesn't matter what other people think.

Quote from Coach Mellor in Goldbergs Feel Hard

Coach Mellor: Son, I've been here a long time and I've seen kids pull that fire alarm for a lot of different reasons. What's yours? Pop quiz in chemistry?
Adam: No.
Coach Mellor: Arousing daydream?
Adam: No!
Coach Mellor: Inner-fart that fooled you?
Adam: Worse.
Coach Mellor: Ooh. I'm intrigued.