The Goldbergs Quotes

The Goldbergs

The Goldbergs

A movie-obsessed teen documents his life growing up in an outrageous yet loving family in the 1980s.

Starring: Sean Giambrone, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Troy Gentile, Hayley Orrantia, Jeff Garlin, George Segal, Sam Lerner.
Recurring Actors: Bryan Callen, AJ Michalka, Tim Meadows, Matt Bush, Noah Munck, Shayne Topp, Kenny Ridwan, David Koechner.
Original Run: 2013-.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Beverly in Lame Gretzy

Erica: You know, I thought a lot about what you said, and I decided that Penn is a great choice for me.
Beverly: Oh, it's happening. We're going to Penn!
Erica: I know! I'm so excited that I decided to get a head start on my essay for their application. Here it is.
Beverly: "I believe that the University of Pennsylvania "is the right school for me because of its torkulent history and diligord reputation." Oh, boy.


Popular Quotes

Quote from Beverly in The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Beverly in Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Quote from Beverly in I Drank The Mold

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horse play. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.

Quote Collections

Trending Quotes

Quote from Barry in Yippee Ki Yay Melon Farmer

Beverly: Bill, I give up. Take my boy and do Christmas.
Bill Lewis: I don't wanna do Christmas.
Beverly: Oh, you have to do Christmas.
Bill Lewis: You can't force Christmas on me, you monster!
Lainey: Wait, did you not tell your mom we don't celebrate Christmas?
Beverly: What?
Barry: Funny story that I'll relay to you all privately and separately.

Quote from Murray in I Caddyshacked the Pool

Murray: Hey, how are you doing?
Adam: Why are you in my room?
Murray: Just came by to say hi, and (mumbles).
Adam: What?
Murray: (mumbles)
Adam: What?
Murray: Y'know, (mumbles "you've got a beautiful body").
Adam: See, you keep trailing off specifically at the end.
Murray: You've got a beautiful body! This body of yours, beautiful.
Adam: Don't ever tell me that again!
Murray: Deal. But, let's be truthful. You don't have a beautiful body.
Adam: Thanks.
Murray: You're in middle school. Your body, it's stinky and greasy, and it's growing too fast. And, when you talk, it's like a broken kazoo. Those days were horrible. I remember them, I really do.
Adam: Since when have you had a shred of insecurity about your body? You'll go anywhere in your Tighty-Whities.
Murray: That's now. When I was your age, I hated my body. The good news is, I grew up and life beat me down so hard, I eventually stopped caring. And some day, life will crap on you so hard that you'll stop caring too.
Adam: That's oddly reassuring.
Murray: Trust me. Eventually you'll realize it doesn't matter what other people think.

Quote from Coach Mellor in Goldbergs Feel Hard

Coach Mellor: Son, I've been here a long time and I've seen kids pull that fire alarm for a lot of different reasons. What's yours? Pop quiz in chemistry?
Adam: No.
Coach Mellor: Arousing daydream?
Adam: No!
Coach Mellor: Inner-fart that fooled you?
Adam: Worse.
Coach Mellor: Ooh. I'm intrigued.