The Goldbergs Quotes

The Goldbergs

The Goldbergs

A movie-obsessed teen documents his life growing up in an outrageous yet loving family in the 1980s.

Starring: Sean Giambrone, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Troy Gentile, Hayley Orrantia, Jeff Garlin, George Segal, Sam Lerner.
Recurring Actors: Bryan Callen, AJ Michalka, Tim Meadows, Matt Bush, Noah Munck, Shayne Topp, Kenny Ridwan, David Koechner.
Original Run: 2013-.

Quote of the Day

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Quote from Barry in DannyDonnieJoeJonJordan

Barry: Don't steeple your fingers. I'm steepling mine. We can't both do it.

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Quote from Beverly in The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Beverly in Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Quote from Beverly in Mama Drama

Beverly: Are you crying?
Adam: No.
Beverly: Who hurt you? Tell me and I will hurt them tenfold.

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Quote from Barry in 12 Tapes for a Penny

Barry: Or we go to the Eagles-Cowboys game. 50-yard line, root for America's team?
Bill Lewis: I thought you were a Diehard Eagles fan.
Barry: Until I discovered the cowboys, my other favorite team, which happens to be yours.
Bill Lewis: You're gonna turn on The Eagles just like that? Son, don't you have any spine at all?
Barry: No. But you know what I do have? Matching bucket hats!
Bill Lewis: Why?
Murray: Oh, no.
Barry: 'Cause you love Bob Denver. You know, Gilligan, from the island.
Bill Lewis: What?
Barry: He's my favorite, too.
Bill Lewis: I don't like Bob Denver. I like John Denver.
Barry: Is there a difference?
Murray: Oh, no.
Bill Lewis: Yes, one is folk icon who melts my heart. The other is a scrawny weirdo who couldn't close with ginger or Mary Ann.
Barry: [laughing] I totally know the difference. I'm just busting chops. I just got you this hat so your head won't burn.
Bill Lewis: Are you calling me bald?
Barry: No, you have a beautiful head of hair. On the sides. You look like a judge.

Quote from Murray in I Caddyshacked the Pool

Murray: Hey, how are you doing?
Adam: Why are you in my room?
Murray: Just came by to say hi, and (mumbles).
Adam: What?
Murray: (mumbles)
Adam: What?
Murray: Y'know, (mumbles "you've got a beautiful body").
Adam: See, you keep trailing off specifically at the end.
Murray: You've got a beautiful body! This body of yours, beautiful.
Adam: Don't ever tell me that again!
Murray: Deal. But, let's be truthful. You don't have a beautiful body.
Adam: Thanks.
Murray: You're in middle school. Your body, it's stinky and greasy, and it's growing too fast. And, when you talk, it's like a broken kazoo. Those days were horrible. I remember them, I really do.
Adam: Since when have you had a shred of insecurity about your body? You'll go anywhere in your Tighty-Whities.
Murray: That's now. When I was your age, I hated my body. The good news is, I grew up and life beat me down so hard, I eventually stopped caring. And some day, life will crap on you so hard that you'll stop caring too.
Adam: That's oddly reassuring.
Murray: Trust me. Eventually you'll realize it doesn't matter what other people think.