The Golden Girls Quotes

The Golden Girls

The Golden Girls

Four older women share friendship and a home in Miami as they show that life doesn't stop at fifty.

Starring: Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty.
Original Run: 1985-1992.

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Quote from Sophia in A Piece of Cake

Sophia: Don't panic, I'm fine. I haven't had that much. Besides, you think I'd ruin Roberta's milestone birthday?
Rose: Milestone? She's 88.
Sophia: Right. After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone.

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Quote from Sophia in The Engagement

Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.

Quote from Blanche in Hey, Look Me Over

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Quote from Dorothy in The Way We Met

[flashback:]
Rose: I'll make it up to you, Dorothy, I promise. Listen, if there's ever a night where you can't sleep, I'll come to your room and sing "Kumbaya."
Dorothy: Rose, I don't know what to say. Yes, I do. Don't ever do that.

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Quote from Rose in A Piece of Cake

Rose: Gee, I love to bake. Back in St. Olaf, I always baked our birthday cakes. Charlie loved 'em. I remember the last cake I baked in St. Olaf. It was kinda different.
[flashback: In St. Olaf, Rose places a birthday cake she just prepared on the kitchen table, then leaves the room. She then returns.]
Rose: [talking to herself] Oh, my birthday! I completely forgot! Well, I'd better make a wish and blow out those candles before Mr. Hickenlooper has the volunteer fire brigade up here pumping water on my clean kitchen floor. I swear, that man will look for any excuse to make that siren sound through his nose. Inga Lundqvist told me just this last week I know. Shut up, Rose, and blow out your candles. OK. A wish. I guess that was kind of a silly wish. I know you can't really be here with me, Charlie. It's taken me these past eight months to accept that, but I finally have. Then why our usual little private birthday celebration? It somehow feels less Ionely, Charlie. I mean, this is the first special day I've had to spend without you. If it had been Christmas, I'd probably have hung your stocking. Or if it had been your birthday, I probably would have still asked the clerk down at Tuttles to help me pick out a tie for you. Oh, I bet that would have gotten me some strange looks from the sales staff. Although they already look at me strangely. Because of the time I tried to special-order a double-breasted navy suit with a drop-seat in the pants for cousin Wendell. Anyway, that was part of the reason. The other part was I wanted to talk to you. I know. I didn't need a special occasion for that. It would be more of an occasion if I stopped talking. But I I figured since it was my birthday, you wouldn't be upset when you hear what I've got to tell you. I've decided to sell the house and leave St. Olaf, Charlie. The winters are rough here in Minnesota. And this place is too filled with memories to let me get on with my life. I need to start over without you, Charlie. And I think this is the best way. I know it'll be tough in a strange town all alone. But I've read some wonderful things about Miami. It won't be long before I meet nice people and make some new friends. I have a real good feeling about that. So I just wanted you to know what I decided. I hope to be in Florida before the next winter comes. But I know that wherever I am, you'll be right there with me. I love you, Charlie. I miss you. It's my birthday! You know the rules. I get the rose.

Quote from Blanche in Take Him, He's Mine

Dorothy: And I was feeling jealous and Ionely and... God knows what else.
Blanche: Magenta.
Dorothy: Excuse me?
Blanche: Magenta. That's what I call it when I get that way. All kinds of feelings tumbling all over themselves. Well, you know, you're not quite blue because you're not really sad and although you're a little jealous, you wouldn't say you're green with envy, and every now and then you realize you're kinda scared but you'd hardly call yourself yellow. I hate that feeling. I just hate it. And I hate the color magenta. That's why I named it that. Magenta. No way to really explain it but, fortunately, between friends, you don't have to.

Quote from Rose in Three on a Couch

Blanche: The point is, Rose, you do this kind of stupid thing all the time. And if you're not doing something stupid, you're saying something stupid, or wearing something stupid, or cooking something stupid.
Dr. Ashley: Rose, what do you think of Blanche saying these things?
Rose: I think she's a garconanokin.
Dr. Ashley: Well, what exactly does that mean?
Rose: Literally, it's the precise moment when dog doo turns white. But in general, it refers to the kind of person you don't wanna share your hoogencoggles with.
Dorothy: Rose, if you say one more of those stupid words, so help me-
Rose: Oh, blow it out your tubenburbles!