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‘Lake Life’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Modern Family: Lake Life

901. Lake Life

Aired September 27, 2017

When Jay takes the whole family on a vacation to a houseboat, he hopes to create memories that will last long after he's gone. Meanwhile, Mitchell runs into an old flame, Cameron tries to stay out of the sun, and Phil and Claire want to be more adventurous.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] It was Scotty, this local lake kid I met on vacation when I was thirteen. I had a huge crush on him, so on the last day, I decided to take a chance and I kissed him. It was my first time ever kissing a boy, so when he pulled away and said that he wasn't "into this," I was humiliated. I mean, I'd obviously misread signals. He was straight. It was five years before I ever made a move on a guy again. And even then, I wouldn't dare unless he was basically floating across the room. Which is why I ended up with... Well, you know.

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Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Oh, Gloria, have you ever seen such pristine blue water?
Gloria: Is that a floating duffel bag?
Cameron: No, that's just a buoy.
Gloria: [gasps] A boy?!
Cameron: No, a buoy.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: So, um, listen. We... We actually do know each other. Uh... Mitchell Pritchett. Summer of '89? I let you have my Nintendo Game Boy?
Scotty: Mitchy Pritchy! Of course! You were mad about that Game Boy 'cause your dad got you that instead of, like, some Cher album.
Mitchell: "If I Could Turn Back Time." Which brings me to why I'm here.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Well, well, well. Look who finally showed up. Maybe we can try this again in another 99 years.
Alex: Actually, there'll be another total eclipse again in the next seven years.
Jay: No one wants your stupid science, Alex! I asked for one thing, to share a memory with all of us with me at the center of it! And by the way, I had to pay surge boat rates because of eclipse fever!

Quote from Jay

Claire: This is an all-time rant.
Mitchell: Oh, yeah, top three. It goes Christmas '84, that wedding where he ordered the pork but they gave him the chicken instead, and eclipse weekend.
Jay: The only reason I went to that wedding was because of the damn pork! Is this gonna be the only thing you guys remember about me?!

Quote from Jay

Claire: Hey, Dad, you know Hugh Duncan from Just Closets?
Jay: That pretentious half-Brit that refers to closets as "wardrobes"?
Claire: He died.
Jay: Son of a gun. I always liked him.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: You know, I like having these. We should get some for the house.
Gloria: No, you're not going to ask me "what time is lunch?" every day through a talkie-walkie.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Cam, we need to talk about this. We- We have these lamps at home. Okay, we have boat lamps.
Cameron: I know. It's so validating. It's like that time we saw our can opener in that dog-food commercial.
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: We rented a houseboat. My dad wanted us to take a big lake trip so we could see the first total eclipse in years.
Cameron: You know, growing up on a farm, I always fantasized about lake life. Yeah. You know, anyone can go to the lake. Only the elite can sleep on it.
Mitchell: My parents used to take Claire and me every summer when we were kids.
Cameron: Oh, I just never dreamed I would marry into a lake family.

Quote from Gloria

Cameron: Ah. It feels like we're in St. Tropez.
Gloria: I don't trust lakes. Where I come from, this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.
Cameron: You know what? I am gonna give you a little boat tour and show you this lake in all of its glory, but you need to keep an open mind.
Gloria: Okay, fine. Let's ride around the liquid graveyard.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I started reading the tributes to Hugh Duncan on Facebook. There were a ton of them. People going on and on about what a great guy he was. "Grandpa Hugh once gave me a vintage stethoscope, which inspired me to become a pediatric oncologist." Made me wonder what people will say about me when I'm gone.

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