Mitchell: [aside to camera] It was Scotty, this local lake kid I met on vacation when I was thirteen. I had a huge crush on him, so on the last day, I decided to take a chance and I kissed him. It was my first time ever kissing a boy, so when he pulled away and said that he wasn't "into this," I was humiliated. I mean, I'd obviously misread signals. He was straight. It was five years before I ever made a move on a guy again. And even then, I wouldn't dare unless he was basically floating across the room. Which is why I ended up with... Well, you know.

Cameron: Oh, Gloria, have you ever seen such pristine blue water?
Gloria: Is that a floating duffel bag?
Cameron: No, that's just a buoy.
Gloria: [gasps] A boy?!
Cameron: No, a buoy.

Mitchell: So, um, listen. We... We actually do know each other. Uh... Mitchell Pritchett. Summer of '89? I let you have my Nintendo Game Boy?
Scotty: Mitchy Pritchy! Of course! You were mad about that Game Boy 'cause your dad got you that instead of, like, some Cher album.
Mitchell: "If I Could Turn Back Time." Which brings me to why I'm here.

Jay: Well, well, well. Look who finally showed up. Maybe we can try this again in another 99 years.
Alex: Actually, there'll be another total eclipse again in the next seven years.
Jay: No one wants your stupid science, Alex! I asked for one thing, to share a memory with all of us with me at the center of it! And by the way, I had to pay surge boat rates because of eclipse fever!

Claire: This is an all-time rant.
Mitchell: Oh, yeah, top three. It goes Christmas '84, that wedding where he ordered the pork but they gave him the chicken instead, and eclipse weekend.
Jay: The only reason I went to that wedding was because of the damn pork! Is this gonna be the only thing you guys remember about me?!

Claire: Hey, Dad, you know Hugh Duncan from Just Closets?
Jay: That pretentious half-Brit that refers to closets as "wardrobes"?
Claire: He died.
Jay: Son of a gun. I always liked him.

Jay: You know, I like having these. We should get some for the house.
Gloria: No, you're not going to ask me "what time is lunch?" every day through a talkie-walkie.

Mitchell: Cam, we need to talk about this. We- We have these lamps at home. Okay, we have boat lamps.
Cameron: I know. It's so validating. It's like that time we saw our can opener in that dog-food commercial.
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: We rented a houseboat. My dad wanted us to take a big lake trip so we could see the first total eclipse in years.
Cameron: You know, growing up on a farm, I always fantasized about lake life. Yeah. You know, anyone can go to the lake. Only the elite can sleep on it.
Mitchell: My parents used to take Claire and me every summer when we were kids.
Cameron: Oh, I just never dreamed I would marry into a lake family.

Cameron: Ah. It feels like we're in St. Tropez.
Gloria: I don't trust lakes. Where I come from, this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.
Cameron: You know what? I am gonna give you a little boat tour and show you this lake in all of its glory, but you need to keep an open mind.
Gloria: Okay, fine. Let's ride around the liquid graveyard.

Jay: [aside to camera] I started reading the tributes to Hugh Duncan on Facebook. There were a ton of them. People going on and on about what a great guy he was. "Grandpa Hugh once gave me a vintage stethoscope, which inspired me to become a pediatric oncologist." Made me wonder what people will say about me when I'm gone.