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‘The One That Got Away’ Quotes

Modern Family: The One That Got Away

224. The One That Got Away

Aired May 25, 2011

As the family works to plan a big birthday party for Jay, all he wants to do is spend a quiet day fishing. Meanwhile, Claire and Mitchell end up trapped in their childhood yard, Phil runs into his college nemesis while shopping with Gloria, and a misunderstanding lands Cameron in trouble at a bakery.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: And here we have a phone in the shape of a mouth.
Gloria: Ah, you're welcome. Very sexy.
Jay: Wait a minute. Don't tell me. Let me work this out. I mentioned a few times I was thinking of taking up the saxophone. You give me this. I got it. Is this a "sexy phone"?
Gloria: Happy birthday!

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Quote from Jay

Jay: [answering phone] Hello.
Sandra: Hi. It's Sandra from the dog groomer. I'm trying to reach Gloria. Stella's ready.
Jay: Oh, I must have her phone. She probably grabbed mine again. Listen. This is her husband. You have my number right there probably. Give that a call.
Sandra: Oh, okay. Thanks.
Jay: [answering phone] Yeah, it's me again. I'll be right there. Yeah, I did blame her for no reason. You have a little bit of an attitude, you know that? You know who did your job in my day? A hose.

Quote from Cameron

Manny: [on the phone] Help me. Tell me what to say.
Cameron: Okay, how about this? You are the prettiest, smartest, funniest girl in the sixth grade. I know you're only 11, but I can't stop thinking about you. I've loved talking to you online. I think we should become boyfriend and girlfriend. [to the people in the bakery] Oh, no, it's not what you think. I'm talking to a little boy. Oh.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [answering phone] Hello. Manny. Where are you? What are you doing out there? What the hell?
Manny: I dragged it back here this afternoon. I know it's not the lake. But maybe we could pop open a few drinks and hang out on the water.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Now, the old Jay would have said "I wanted to be on a lake with a fishing rod and sunshine not bobbing around at night in a swimming pool." I miss the old Jay.
[back:]
Manny: This is the life, huh?
Jay: It ain't half bad.

Quote from Phil

Luke: Hey, Mom. Listen to this card Dad got for Grandpa Jay.
Phil: "Hip-hip-hip hooray. Save the extra hip. You'll need it someday."
Luke: [laughs] 'Cause he's old.
Claire: Mmm. You're not giving him that.
Phil: Even if he drinks his other gift first?
Claire: Nope.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: So, that's really going to be your day? You're going fishing?
Jay: With time out for a gourmet lunch. Sausage of the Month Club really nailed it in May. But, honey, no offense. They almost lost me last month with that chorizo.
Gloria: Why no offense? It's a sausage. It's not on our flag.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Her name's Tara. We have great chats online. She's really smart and funny, but she's on a softball team.
Cameron: Well, nobody's perfect. Hey, you know what? Why don't we go outside and toss the ball around.
Manny: Okay.
Cameron: Wow. And you know what? I wouldn't worry too much. She's gonna like you even if sports aren't your thing.
Manny: Aren't my thing? I have a tennis racket upstairs I only use as a bubble bath frother.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] I didn't think anything of it until other people started making the same mistake. It reminded me of a college job I had parking cars. One day I had to park an Aston Martin. I'll never forget the looks I got driving that baby down the block. And I wasn't gonna dent this one.

Quote from Manny

Manny: [on the phone] I'm trying to get up the nerve to tell her how I feel.
Cameron: Well, just be honest.
Manny: She intimidates me. Every time I open my mouth, I say something stupid. I called her bedroom "fantazing." That's not even a word.
Tara: [o.s.] Are you okay in there, Manny?
Manny: Yeah. I'm just water washing my hands!

Quote from Luke

Alex: I could've sworn we had more.
Luke: Well, let me work my magic. It's all about creative editing. Just give me two hours and another hour. Someone get me some chocolate milk with extra salt.

Quote from Mitchell

Jay: What the hell were you thinking? I'll answer that for you. You weren't thinking. You think that's funny, Popeye?
Mitchell: No.
Claire: Popeye.
Jay: I should be fishing, but I'm hauling my ass across town trying to save you two from a little dog.
Mitchell: At least we got to have a dog for a few minutes.
Jay: Here we go. You could show a little gratitude, you know. These pants are new. Climbing over that fence, I might have wrecked 'em. [Claire and Mitchell snicker] That's mature.
Mitchell: I'm sorry. We're sorry.
Claire: We're sorry.
Mitchell: Sorry you said "rectum."

Quote from Jay

Claire: I'm sorry, Dad, and we're so glad that you came-
Mitchell: Thank you.
Claire: And got us. That was very smart the way that you distracted the dog.
Jay: Twelve times a year I get sausages. That's it. What the hell am I gonna do till June?

Quote from Gloria

Mitchell: We just need some candles.
Gloria: I-I must have in one of the drawers. Okay. Okay. Froot Loop necklace. Baby Jesus. Keys. Ay, I was looking for these keys. Baby Jesus. BB gun. More baby Jesus. Ay, another baby- Jesus, Stella, don't do that!

Quote from Manny

Cameron: Hey, Manny, I almost called you. How did it go with Tara?
Manny: Okay, I guess. I used every line you gave me and she totally ate it up.
Cameron: Well, then why just okay?
Manny: She wants to go on a date now, to the batting cage.
Cameron: Oh. Not so good with a bat?
Manny: I am, as long as I'm using it to roll out dough.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: So how was your day with Claire?
Mitchell: You know, actually, it was really great. I don't always think about it, but I was really lucky to have her to grow up with. I cannot imagine dealing with my crazy parents alone.
Cameron: Yeah.
Mitchell: Cam?
Cameron: Hmm?
Mitchell: I- I wanna have another baby.
Cameron: What would you think about a boy this time?


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