Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Haley's 21st Birthday’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Modern Family: Haley's 21st Birthday

610. Haley's 21st Birthday

Aired December 10, 2014

As Haley celebrates her twenty-first birthday at a bar with her family, Claire decides she wants her daughter to see her as a friend, Mitchell and Cameron realize they're not the cool young things they once were, and Jay disrupts Phil's quick stop at a car dealership to pick up Haley's gift. Elsewhere, Alex, Luke and Manny are stunned when Lily asks them where babies come from.

Quote from Lily

Lily: When I grow up, I want to have kids. Well, first, I want a perfect husband. Someone who takes care of me. And then we're gonna make a baby. Which is easy. You just put eggs and tadpoles in a glass, and the woman has to drink it. Then, the woman and man kiss and jump on their bed. After a year, she pees, and a baby comes out.
Luke: Wow.
Alex: Oh, my God.
Manny: Okay, then.

Rate

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] Leaving Phil with a car salesman is like covering a baby goat in barbecue sauce and dropping it in the middle of the Serengeti.

Quote from Luke

Lily: So, do you know how babies are made?
Luke: Yep, and I'll tell you. But first, we're gonna need a pen and a bagel.
Lily: Why?
Luke: Well, you're gonna need to take notes, and I'm hungry.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: [aside to camera] There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle.
Cameron: Or guncle.
Mitchell: Giving a gift to a niece as hip and chic as Haley.
Cameron: In the 10 years that we've been together, we've only missed the mark one time.
Mitchell: Yeah, when Claire told us what to buy, but we learned our lesson. Ignore Claire and trust our gay instincts.
Cameron: Or "ginstincts."
Mitchell: Too much.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: I always got Dylan.
Haley: Careful. You're like my grandma.
Gloria: Grandma? Easy. I have stabbed closer relatives than you.

Quote from Luke

Alex: Okay, I am technically in charge tonight, so no one tells Lily where babies come from.
Manny: I could not agree more.
Luke: I don't know why you Americans are so uptight about sex.
Alex: Sex is confusing for young people, and she doesn't need to learn from two fuzz-staches who barely know anything themselves.
Luke: Excuse me, you might want to check my browser history. I've done some research.
Alex: Oh. Well, great. I'm just gonna go vomit forever now.

Quote from Phil

Phil: It was supposed to be such a great moment for me as a dad. I was gonna walk into that bar, give my daughter her new car keys, and say, "Honey, chug that drink. We're going for a spin."

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Yeah, somebody's hungry for a little bit more.
Cameron: We should have just told them we're straight.
Mitchell: We met them because you accurately identified the bride's perfume.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Go on, honey. Show him your license. Go on.
Bouncer: Oh? Somebody 21 today?
Haley: Yes.
Bouncer: Military gal. Welcome, Private Dorchester.
Haley: Uh, oops. That is the wrong one. I am so very sorry. Hold on a second.

Quote from Haley

Haley: [aside to camera] Yes, I'm a huge dork for celebrating my 21st with my family, but my mom was crazy excited to go to a bar with me. Or just to go to a bar.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode