TV Quotes

Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Ross: Here we go. All right. Ready? Turn! Turn! Turn!
Chandler: I don't think we can turn any more!
Rachel: Ross, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: Yeah, it will. Come on. Up, up, up! Up! Yes. Here we go. Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Phoebe: Thanks for the great movie tip.
Monica: Did you like it?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. I don't know if I was happier when George Bailey destroyed the business or Donna Reed cried or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Monica: All right, I'll give you the ear thing, but didn't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
Phoebe: I didn't watch the ending. I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse. It should've been called: "It's a Sucky Life, And Just When You Think It Can't Suck Anymore, It Does!"

Rachel: I will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.
Chandler: No.
Rachel: I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning.
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: No!
Rachel: I've got it!
Chandler: You don't have it.
Rachel: I have so got it. There's going to be rumors about this. No way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know.
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Rachel: I called them. And when they ask me what I saw ... I can be very generous ... or very stingy.
Chandler: Go on.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.
Chandler: And Milton Berle has-
Rachel: Oh. Not compared to you.

Rachel: Okay, in about 10 seconds, you're going to see him kiss me.
Ross: And in about 5 seconds, you're going to see why.
[on the videotape:]
Rachel: Ross, did I ever tell you about the time I went backpacking through Western Europe?
[present:]
Rachel: Okay. Get ready to see some begging.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Rachel: What?
Ross: Now I'm so happy.
Rachel: What are you talking about?
Monica: You used the Europe story.
Chandler: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex.