Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Go Bullfrogs!’ Quotes

Modern Family: Go Bullfrogs!

306. Go Bullfrogs!

Aired October 19, 2011

 

As Phil takes Haley on a tour of his alma mater, Claire looks forward to a wild night out with Mitchell and Cameron. Meanwhile, Gloria worries Manny is in need of "the talk", while Jay becomes obsessed with a Colombian soap opera.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] Gloria's always saying we should do more stuff together. So I agreed to watch this crazy Colombian soap opera she loves.
Gloria: "Fuego y hielo."
Jay: Which apparently, is Spanish for "big hair and yelling."
Gloria: "Fire and ice." It's about human suffering. I relate to it.
Jay: I'm just saying, the guy's a judge. He can put a shirt on.

Rate

Quote from Phil

Claire: [aside to camera] Phil is taking Haley to visit his Alma Mater.
Phil: Loved college.
Claire: Mm, we were hoping some of that enthusiasm rubs off on her. Go, bullfrogs!
Phil: Dogs. Bulldogs. I feel like you do that on purpose.
Claire: No, it's just I say "bull, " and I can't remember if it's frogs or dogs.
Phil: When I talk to my old friends from college, do we croak or do we bark?

Quote from Claire

Holly: Hey, Claire, listen. Uh, if you want, some of the moms are gonna stay and watch "Gone with the wind" in my new screening room. I got Pinot!
Claire: I would love to, but I'm not feeling that great, so I'm probably just gonna go home and rest. Plus I've seen that movie.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: No, I never saw "Gone with the Wind," but I have two kids at sleepovers, and Haley's out of town with Phil. That means I have one night to myself, which happens once every... never. I am not spending it with some gossipy mom who was mean to me in High School. I need a fun night out.

Quote from Claire

Claire: What the hell is this? No. I asked you guys for a fun night out. Not this. I-I-I need music and dancing and secondhand smoke.
Cameron: Oh, please give this place a chance. It's a great value. The room is so cozy, and the potpies are to die for.
Claire: Are you really comfortable with what you just said? Come on. What happened to the party people who took me to a rave, and I got to wear a tube top, and I stuffed cash in a caged go-go boy's speedo?
Mitchell: We're still party people.
Cameron: Oh, Joanne, before I forget, can I get a punch? One away from a free potpie.
Claire: If that was your gay card, it would be revoked.

Quote from Claire

Claire: All right, there's, like, a thousand people waiting for wine. I wanna try on a couple of dresses, and then Julian here's gonna take us to a club across town.
Cameron: I think we're gonna go home.
Claire: What? Why? It's 9:30.
Mitchell: It's 9:30?!
Claire: When did you two become such old women? First, you take me to that senior center for porridge, and now you can't even stay up past Luke's bedtime?
Cameron: It's Friday. We get tired on Fridays.
Mitchell: We get very tired.
Claire: I have 3 children. I've been tired since 2005.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: I bet it's a birthday gift for me.
Jay: Yeah, that sounds right. What's he saying? I've never seen him this mad.
Gloria: Wait a minute. I already found my birthday gift underneath his bed. It's a giant hat. When did hats came back anyway?

Quote from Jay

Jay: Now she's reaching under the poncho. Like she's gonna shoot Reinaldo. He's the main character, right?
Gloria: That's it. I'm going up there.
Jay: Wait, Gloria. No. Don't go.
Gloria: Why not?
Jay: Think about it. Thirteen-year-old boy talks about girls all day long. We have more security on these computers than the Pentagon. What do you think he's doing up there alone?
Gloria: Do you think he ordered some movies?
Jay: Movies, magazines, whatever the hell.
Gloria: How dare do you say that, Jay?! He's a little boy! He's just a boy.

Quote from Longinus

Cameron: [answering phone] Hey, Longe. Don't be mad at us for leaving.
Longinus: I went back to our spot, and everybody was gone. Who does that to a sister?!
Mitchell: We're sorry, but the sitter called, and, uh, Lily was running a fever. So we feel even worse about dumping Claire on you and your hot date.
Cameron: Who is gorgeous, by the way. Seems super funny, too. Perfect for you.
Longinus: Please, I wish that was a date. He's my trainer, and he's straight.
Cameron: What?
Longinus: Julian's straight.
Cameron: Oh, I love it when a straight person and a gay person go out together.
Longinus: I'd love it a lot more if he was gay.

Quote from Phil

Haley: What the hell?
Phil: We are leaving.
Haley: I'm having a nice time with-
Phil: With this clown? And by the way, it's a little cliche to pick someone who looks exactly like your dad. I got your number, Pi Chi. I know you.
Haley: Yeah, you do. This is Ben Ford. He's in my class. He's visiting, too.
Ben: You were my T-ball coach. My dad's your doctor. He's right over there.
Haley: What is wrong with you? Are you trying to ruin college for me before I even get here?
Phil: No, I-I'm not. I am so sorry. You are not a clown. You were an excellent backup shortstop. Alecia. Bruce. Go, bullfrogs Dogs! Go, bulldogs.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [on the phone] Wow. Really? No, it's just a shock, is all.
Gloria: Jay?
Jay: So Celia's carrying the judge's baby. No wonder she shot him. She's hormonal.
Gloria: Who are you talking to?
Jay: The housekeeper. Maria, I've gotta go. Thanks a lot.

Quote from Haley

Phil: Please? Please, just listen to me for one second.
Haley: Go away! Stop following me!
Officer: Hey, you wanna tell me why you're bothering this young lady?
Phil: Oh, no, no, no, no. Officer, this is my daughter. Tell him.
Haley: Tonight, I don't know who you are.
Phil: She's she's joking. I'm not dangerous. In fact, I-I-I helped to put all the lights on this path. Twenty years ago, some friends and I took back the night. I-I think I just- I embarrassed her a little.
Haley: "A little"? That sweatshirt embarrasses me "a little."
Officer: Yep, that's a daughter.

Quote from Phil

Haley: Tonight was insane. Why did you have to act like that?
Phil: You were at that party. I see you talking to frat boys, and-
Haley: Isn't that why we're here, so I can experience college? I mean, what are you gonna do when I actually go?
Phil: I don't know. Freak out, I think. Look your whole life, my job has been to protect you. A job I kind of love. Now I feel like I'm being forced into early retirement. I just needed to find you and make sure you were okay, for as long as I still get to do that.
Haley: It's just like you- Piss me off and then say something sweet. I'm not leaving until the fall.
Phil: Maybe by then I can figure out how to put a force field around you. I've been working on that one since the first time I tried to fasten you into your car seat. I pinched your chunky little thigh.
Haley: Aw. Even though you basically just called me fat.

Quote from Jay

Jay: We all struggle with limitations Some we're willing to accept. And some we're not. It's never too late to grow in life. "Thanks to our patented lengthenator, you can increase your height by up to 4 inches."
Gloria: I can't believe he would spend $50 on this thing.
Jay: I know. He could've got a 2-year subscription to "Playboy" for that.
Gloria: He's not getting the "Playboy" ever! He's a little boy!

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Wouldn't it be great if we woke up tomorrow and our car had found its way home?
Mitchell: Yeah, I feel that's not the way it's gonna happen.
Cameron: Happened on the farm one time. A tornado scooped up one of our calves, dropped it who knows where. Six months later, a full-grown cow comes walking up the driveway same markings, same moo. That night, we-
Mitchell: We ate like kings.
Cameron: Okay, I've told it before. Oh, my gosh! It's our car!
Guy: I see you've met my wife.


 Episode 305 Episode 307 
  Select another episode