Luke: Are you getting this?
Manny: I'm getting the shot. I'm just not getting what you're trying to do.
Luke: We're in Australia, it's on the bottom of the globe, so everyone here but me is upside-down. It's geography.
Jay: It's a good time to tell you I dropped Luke on his head when he was 1.

Phil: [aside to camera] I come from the land down under.
Claire: He doesn't.
Phil: I was conceived in Australia on my parents' honeymoon. It was a romantic summer night - their summer - on a blanket in the park. I still have that blanket.
Claire: Phil's mom left us money for a trip there, and when the rest of the family, they all just jumped on board.
Phil: My mom's grandfather was Australian, and she'd spend her summers - their winters - visiting him. It was a very special place for her. She always wanted me to see it.
Claire: Wait you still have that blanket?
Phil: Yeah, silly. It's the one on our bed.

Jay: [aside to camera] Claire took the lead on her first project at the company and scored a big one. Best part is, she beat out that arrogant gasbag Earl Norton over at Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets. I wish I could see the look on his stupid face, face, face, face. [laughs]

Gloria: I think this spiritual journey of yours is a wonderful thing. I think it's gonna make you feel closer to your mother.
Phil: I hope so. I miss her. It's the biggest reason I came here to connect. Is that weird?
Gloria: Not at all. I talk to my late grandmother all the time. She would have loved this place. I wonder if she's here with me now. No, she doesn't like to fly.

Phil: You sure you don't want some of this vegemite, Gloria? You don't know what you're missing.
Gloria: Ay, I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

Mitchell: [aside to camera] Back in the day, we knew this guy from Australia.
Cameron: New Zealand.
Mitchell: Same thing. He didn't have a lot of friends, and we felt sorry for him, but the truth is, he was kind of annoying.
Cameron: He was one of those guys that was always on. Big relief when his visa ran out. Anyway, through no fault of my own-
Mitchell: Wait, no, wait you announced on Facebook that we were going to Australia, which is where he lives.
Cameron: Fergus invited us to lunch. I couldn't say no.
Mitchell: I could have said no.
Cameron: Which is why you have twelve friends on Facebook.

Claire: So, what's first?
Gloria: I think Manny wants to see the opera house.
Manny: Actually, it was a long flight. I was thinking maybe just hang out on Bondi Beach.
Luke: That's a great idea, Manny.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you, tripadvisor.

Phil: Let's get this aussie party started!
Claire: Oh, my God. What's wrong with your mouth?
Gloria: Ay! Your lips are huge! I think you're allergic to the ve-he-mi-te.
Phil: No worries.
Jay: I'd be a little worried.

Alex: Why weren't you all over that? He's totally gorgeous.
Haley: This country's number-one export is hot surfers. I'm not gonna buy the first one I see. I'm still browsing.

Lily: Ooh! Kangaroos! I'm going to buy one.
Haley: Lily, what did I just say?
Lily: I don't know. Something about shoes, probably?
Haley: Your Dad gave you enough money for one souvenir. Don't buy the first thing you see. You'll regret it your whole trip.
Lily: You're right. I have enough regret.