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‘I'm Going to Miss This’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Modern Family: I'm Going to Miss This

1116. I'm Going to Miss This

Aired April 1, 2020

Mitchell is having a hard time letting go of his old life and Gloria steps in to help him say goodbye. Meanwhile, Haley, Luke and Alex decide to throw a party at the Dunphy house when Claire and Phil leave for a trip, and Dylan’s mom takes the twins for the night.

Quote from Gloria

Mitchell: And why are the movers just sitting out there?
Gloria: Don't worry about them. I'll handle them. I used to be a mover. I kind of fell into it when I helped an ex-boyfriend steal his brother's refrigerator.
Mitchell: Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver, a hairdresser, a spokesmodel, and a mover. I-Is your life real?
Gloria: Is anything real? That was a question that I asked myself when I was a philosophy professor.

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Quote from Mitchell

Gloria: Now, say goodbye to the house. Tell it how much it meant to you. Be honest with each other, like two lovers that know that the time has come when they must part ways.
Mitchell: Okay, well, usually, I would just take my gym membership off his keychain and then introduce him to my mother.

Quote from Dylan

Haley: Hey! You find it?
Dylan: No, but I just realized why they call rolling two ones with dice "snake eggs."
Haley: That's snake eyes.
Dylan: Oh. Then what did I realize?

Quote from Cameron

[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Not only are we moving, but we're adopting a baby that's due in two weeks.
Cameron: And that is stressing me out because eleven years ago, I revealed Lily with "The Lion King," and there's a lot of pressure...
Mitchell: Self-imposed.
Cameron: ...to top myself. So, I've been workshopping a few ideas.
[flashback to Cameron wheeling in a dining trolley:]
Cameron: I hope everyone here likes... baby! [chuckles] I can see that taking everyone's breath away, no?
Mitchell: Uh, I'm more concerned about the city taking our baby away.

Quote from Phil

Haley: What are you guys doing home?
Alex: Yeah, I thought you went to that beach cleanup.
Claire: Well, we tried, but the beach yoga people wouldn't even move a hundred feet down.
Phil: You'd think they'd have been a little more flexible.
Claire: Oh, Phil.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Did we just make a huge mistake?
Cameron: Mitchell, you know you hate change. Remember when you shaved your beard? You screamed in the mirror, "Oh, my God, you look hideous!"
Mitchell: That was you.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Hey, you humps! We're paying you by the hour!
Man: We're on a coffee break, lady.
Gloria: Oh, don't give me that. I used to do your job. And this attitude, this is why people hate movers. That and all the stealing.
Man: Whoa! You think you can do better?
Gloria: [chuckles] I hate to burst your bubble wrap, but I know I can.

Quote from Jay

Jay: This, my friend, is a 2009 Chateau Trotanoy. You might want to cinch your belt up. It's liable to blow your trousers off.
Manny: Mm. It's nice.
Jay: "Nice"?
Manny: I understand why you would like it, but... this is what my wine club friends would call "an obvious choice."
Jay: I get it. You haven't developed a taste for fine wine yet.
Manny: Um, I hate to say it, but I probably know more about wine than you do.
Jay: Two months ago, you couldn't drink rosé unless it was mixed with Snapple.

Quote from Jay

Jay: The uneducated palate would identify this as a Cabernet, when, in fact, it is a Merlot from Bordeaux.
Joe: Correct.
Manny: Oh! Lucky guess.
Jay: In my twenties, I befriended a sommelier from Paris... Marcel Caron. In fact, I went to stay with him. We'd drink wine all night and fall asleep to the sound of an accordion on the Rue de Montparnasse.
Manny: Much like this wine, that story has too many fruity notes.

Quote from Phil

[aside to camera:]
Claire: Long story short, Doug and I decided to call it even.
Phil: And, thanks to me, not one child got bit.
Claire: [groans] Are you really gonna keep that thing?
Phil: Do we always have to talk about my snake?

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Aww, goodbye, drawer dedicated to batteries and takeout menus. [gasps] And goodbye, wall dent, from when we thought Lily was a trombone prodigy. [Mitchell groans] Mitchell! That was your last eye roll in this house! You know what, when the new baby comes, can you not do it as much? Because, you know, you did it around Lily a lot, and...
Lily: [scoffs]
Cameron: Okay... hey, hey, no, no, no. Don't throw those away. I-I might want to use those for my big baby reveal to the family. If he's bald, I can do a whole Elton John thing.

Quote from Haley

[aside to camera:]
Alex: We made some temporary fixes and scheduled repairs for today, when Mom and Dad said they'd be at the beach. Then they came home early.
Haley: It's just hard when you can't trust family members.

Quote from Phil

Claire: "Don't Gamma and Grampy want to take a nap?" That's not insulting to you?
Phil: [snoring]
Claire: Phil. Phil!
Phil: I... wasn't sleeping. I was listening. And g-good for you. That is... That is a lot of steps for one day.

Quote from Claire

Claire: I was talking about the kids. They're treating us like actual grandparents instead of the... the... premature grandparents we clearly are. I'm the only one in my aqua aerobics class who doesn't need two noodles. [chuckles]

Quote from Haley

Haley: We have to cancel the party!
Dylan: What? No way! We just got back in with this parent group after our daughter's biting spree.
Haley: If they didn't love their kids being gummed by an adorable toddler, I don't think they're gonna love their kids getting punctured by a python!

Quote from Joe

Manny: I'll stop by the store on my way back.
Joe: While you're there, would you be a prince and pick me up a soda? I've got homework.
Jay: Where'd you get a fifty?
Joe: Don't worry about it.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: I mean, you have been a crab all day long.
Mitchell: How do you know? You haven't even been around us!
Gloria: I took a crazy guess. Look, this is buyer's remorse. I learned that from my mentor, Phil Dunphy, and I know how to fix it. Come with me if you want to live... in this house... and not be a bummer to everyone.

Quote from Claire

Meemaw: Oh! This must be the grandparents' table!
Claire: I wouldn't say that.
Phil: No, I d... I don't think...
Haley: These are the kids' grandparents, Gamma and Grampy.
Meemaw: Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Meemaw. This is Bobo. Have you met GimGim and Mimsy?
Claire: Oh, you know what? Why don't you take our seats? I think we're at the wrong table. [groans] Oh! My back!
Mimsy: Oh, it happens to me all the time. I'm gonna get you the name of these shoes.

Quote from Phil

Meemaw: And get this, Gerald fell again. Wrist this time. That man's got more pins in him than a tailor's mouth.
Mimsy: He never learned how to fall the right way. Too proud.
Phil: Wait, there's a right way to fall?
Claire: Really? A follow-up?
Mimsy: Resist the temptation to break the fall with the hands. Land on your bottom. Aim for the meat, not the bone. [falls back]
Phil: Oh... Mimsy! [guests gasp]
Mimsy: See? Good as new. My dear husband, such a gentleman. He always opens the bathtub door for me.

Quote from Joe

Jay: Now it's time for the bottle I brought.
Joe: Unh-unh-unh! Fresh glasses.

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