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‘Travels with Scout’ Quotes Page 1 of 5

Modern Family: Travels with Scout

121. Travels with Scout

Aired April 28, 2010

When Phil's father stops by in the RV, Claire thinks he's holding back an emotional issue from Phil. Meanwhile, Cameron fills in as the drummer in Dylan's band, and Manny is traumatized when Jay takes him to see a horror movie.

Quote from Phil

Phil: He's not going home? He's never been away from my mom for longer than a doctor's appointment.
Claire: Honey, I know. I told you.
Phil: I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers. It turns out I'm one of 'em. It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper.


Quote from Jay

Gloria: What were you thinking? Who takes a little boy to a horror movie? That's loco, Jay.
Jay: This is no big deal. You want scary? When I was his age, I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. I slept with a butter knife under my pillow in case I had to fight some Soviet colonel.
Gloria: Why would they send a Soviet colonel to get a little boy?
Jay: Because I could identify every commie plane.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] One of the greatest days of my life was when my old man sprung me from school and took me to the track. I wanted to do the same type of thing for Manny, plus I figured when Gloria heard about it, maybe it pays off in the bedroom. I wonder if that's why my old man did it. Oh, crap.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: [aside to camera] I used to be a music teacher, but I gave that up as soon as Lily came along.
Mitchell: Yes. Well, we just felt that it was really important that one of us stayed home to raise her, so-
Cameron: Yeah, and that's not a judgment on other people's choices. It's just that we happen to be a very traditional family.
Mitchell: Mm-hmm. Yes, that's what the disabled lesbian shaman who blessed Lily's room said too.

Quote from Frank

Phil: [answering phone] Honeydew! What's up?
Claire: Guess who's here. Your dad! He drove his R.V. All the way up from Cocoa Beach.
Frank Dunphy: Hey, Son, working hard? He's gonna say "Hardly working."
Phil: I meant to tell you he was driving out.
Frank Dunphy: Did he say it?
Claire: Oh, yeah.
Frank Dunphy: Good kid.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [on the phone] He wasn't supposed to show up for a few more days.
Claire: Well, guess what he brought us. A dog to keep.
Phil: Yes! Yes.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: Yes, I should have told Claire about the dog, and I was going to. But I was just waiting for her to be in the right mood. Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago, but I cashed that in for something else.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] My dad is awesome. He's awesome. He's always up. He's always happy. I mean, he and I are best buds. We're like two peas in a pod. Or Siamese twins. Or a snake with two heads.
Claire: They've actually been all those things for Halloween.
Phil: Yeah.

Quote from Dylan

Luke: I always wanted a dog. Thanks, Grandpa.
Claire: Okay, but remember, having a dog is a major responsibility. Everyone in the family has to pitch in.
Dylan: Can do, Mrs. D.
Claire: Not you, Dylan.
Dylan: Oh, phew. 'Cause I got a lot on my plate right now.

Quote from Frank

Frank Dunphy: Cameron, so good to see you again. Now that is a shirt.
Cameron: Oh, well, thank you, Frank. I get 'em online. I'll send you a link.
Frank Dunphy: Oh, well, at home, I smoke sausages. I'll send you a link.

Quote from Luke

[Scout barks]
Alex: I think he wants to go out. Good boy.
Phil: Smart dog.
Claire: I hate to break it to you, but I think all dogs can do that.
Luke: I'm gonna play outside. [runs into the screen door] Ow! What happened?

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