‘Crying Out Loud’
Season 6, Episode 23 - Aired May 13, 2015
The family is determined to make Alex celebrate her senior ditch day and Phil, Luke and Haley forcefully take her out but end up at an unexpected detour. Claire is torn when she gets a job offer from a big hotel chain but feeling torn quickly gets replaced with feelings of confusion when she can’t tell whether or not Jay really cares if she stays or goes. And with Manny groggy off of pain killers from his wisdom teeth procedure, Gloria seizes the moment to put a sabotage plan into effect to break Manny and his new girlfriend up.Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Hey, sweetie.
Lily: Hi.
Mitchell: How was your day?
Lily: Better than hers. What's wrong now?
Mitchell: Daddy's just having a moment.
Lily: He's always having a moment.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [crying] No, no.
Cameron: Mitchell, what's wrong?
Mitchell: I feel like Lily's inability to show feelings for other people might be my fault.
Cameron: Oh, honey, I think that too. But just take comfort in knowing you got there on your own.
Mitchell: I'm watching The Bridges of Madison County because it's the only thing that makes me cry. When she gets home, I'm gonna turn this off and pretend I was reading this.
Cameron: "Typhoon Flattens Orphanage."
Mitchell: Yeah. That's sad, right? Now get out of here, because she's gonna be home any second and I'm trying to stay sad.
Quote from Phil
Phil: You know what? We're bustin' in.
Luke: How? Smash a window with a brick?
Phil: I had something a little more elegant in mind. I think you forget that I gave birth to this building. I know her strengths and her weaknesses. [shakes doors] Did you see a brick?
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Ow. Oh, God. That hurts.
Cameron: Oh, my gosh. You cut yourself.
Lily: Hey. Don't get blood in my eggs.
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: We're getting concerned that Lily hasn't developed an adequate sense of empathy.
Cameron: Insofar as she doesn't have any at all.
Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Don't you think you should have cared a little bit?
Lily: Why? You always get better.
Cameron: Well, so far.
Lily: What do you mean, "so far"?
Cameron: Um...
Mitchell: Well, uh...
Lily: Like someday you're not gonna get better? Like you're gonna die?
Mitchell: No. No, no, no, no. Not Not for a very, very long time.
Lily: Then why are we talking about it now?
Cameron: Hey, you brought it up.
Mitchell: I just wanted to make sure-
Lily: Stop! You're making me sad!
Quote from Haley
Alex: Mom, come on! I need to get to school!
Claire: Isn't today senior ditch day?
Haley: Today's ditch day? No way you're ditching ditch day. It's like the best week of senior year. Day.
Quote from Haley
Claire: Unlike this house, the library will be completely quiet so I can focus on my roommate selection.
Haley: How long can picking a nerdy roommate take? They're all versions of you. Look. Indian you. Blonde you. Asian you. Oh, look. Her name is actually "Yu."
Quote from Claire
Claire: Skipping one day of school isn't gonna do any harm. I ditched plenty, and look at me today. I am fielding multiple job offers.
Alex: One job offer.
Claire: From a very prominent hotel chain weighed against the implied offer of staying at my current job.
Haley: Working for your dad.
Claire: Exactly. And I could never leave Grandpa. So I'm going to say no to the first offer.
Alex: Only offer.
Claire: Though I would have made an excellent regional vice president in charge of promotions.
Alex: She is great at promotion. That title gets longer every time I hear it.
Quote from Haley
Haley: Come on. Don't go to school. Girls' day. We'll swing by the mall. You could use a new everything.
Quote from Luke
Phil: Girls, get in the car. Luke's hurt.
Alex: Oh, my God.
Haley: What happened?
Phil: He collapsed on the way to school. He's in the hospital. Come on.
[in the car:]
Alex: What's wrong with Luke? Why did he collapse?
Luke: I heard he was dead. [Haley, Alex scream] Ha, ha. You care about me.