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‘Crying Out Loud’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Modern Family: Crying Out Loud

623. Crying Out Loud

Aired May 13, 2015

The family is determined to make Alex celebrate her senior ditch day and Phil, Luke and Haley forcefully take her out but end up at an unexpected detour. Claire is torn when she gets a job offer from a big hotel chain but feeling torn quickly gets replaced with feelings of confusion when she can’t tell whether or not Jay really cares if she stays or goes. And with Manny groggy off of pain killers from his wisdom teeth procedure, Gloria seizes the moment to put a sabotage plan into effect to break Manny and his new girlfriend up.

Quote from Lily

Mitchell: Hey, sweetie.
Lily: Hi.
Mitchell: How was your day?
Lily: Better than hers. What's wrong now?
Mitchell: Daddy's just having a moment.
Lily: He's always having a moment.

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Quote from Phil

Phil: You know what? We're bustin' in.
Luke: How? Smash a window with a brick?
Phil: I had something a little more elegant in mind. I think you forget that I gave birth to this building. I know her strengths and her weaknesses. [shakes doors] Did you see a brick?

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Ow. Oh, God. That hurts.
Cameron: Oh, my gosh. You cut yourself.
Lily: Hey. Don't get blood in my eggs.
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: We're getting concerned that Lily hasn't developed an adequate sense of empathy.
Cameron: Insofar as she doesn't have any at all.

Quote from Haley

Alex: Mom, come on! I need to get to school!
Claire: Isn't today senior ditch day?
Haley: Today's ditch day? No way you're ditching ditch day. It's like the best week of senior year. Day.

Quote from Haley

Claire: Unlike this house, the library will be completely quiet so I can focus on my roommate selection.
Haley: How long can picking a nerdy roommate take? They're all versions of you. Look. Indian you. Blonde you. Asian you. Oh, look. Her name is actually "Yu."

Quote from Claire

Claire: Skipping one day of school isn't gonna do any harm. I ditched plenty, and look at me today. I am fielding multiple job offers.
Alex: One job offer.
Claire: From a very prominent hotel chain weighed against the implied offer of staying at my current job.
Haley: Working for your dad.
Claire: Exactly. And I could never leave Grandpa. So I'm going to say no to the first offer.
Alex: Only offer.
Claire: Though I would have made an excellent regional vice president in charge of promotions.
Alex: She is great at promotion. That title gets longer every time I hear it.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Come on. Don't go to school. Girls' day. We'll swing by the mall. You could use a new everything.

Quote from Luke

Phil: Girls, get in the car. Luke's hurt.
Alex: Oh, my God.
Haley: What happened?
Phil: He collapsed on the way to school. He's in the hospital. Come on.
[in the car:]
Alex: What's wrong with Luke? Why did he collapse?
Luke: I heard he was dead. [Haley, Alex scream] Ha, ha. You care about me.

Quote from Alex

Phil: Alex, you have worked so insanely hard this year. You deserve this ditch day more than anyone. So, guess what? We're going to California Adventure.
Haley: Whoo!
Luke: Without Mom.
All: Yeah! [chanting] Ditch day! Ditch day! - Ditch day!
Alex: Is this a high holiday for you people?

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: That's it. I'm doing it. I'm throwing out all my socks and starting over.
Mitchell: And they say Tina was brave for leaving Ike.

Quote from Cameron

[flashback:]
Mitchell: Oh, that's good. I can feel it working.
Cameron: I know, I can finally breathe.
Lily: I can't hear myself think. [unplugs steamer]
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Nice preview of our sunset years.
Cameron: She literally pulled the plug on us.

Quote from Jay

Claire: Are you ready to have a laugh?
Jay: Janice's haircut? Give her some slack. She just went through a breakup with a woman, I assume, based on the haircut.

Quote from Jay

Jay: You got to take this offer.
Claire: What?
Jay: Higher salary. Better benefits. You might have to travel more, which is time away from Phil. Nothing but upside.

Quote from Manny

Manny: Hey, will I still get wise without my wisdom teeth? You get it?
Gloria: Every time.

Quote from Gloria

Manny: Kylie said she'd meet me at the dentist, and she never came.
Gloria: Ay, I know, papi. I'm so sorry. But I'm gonna get you a very nice pillow from your bedroom.
Manny: She wants me to go away with her to drama camp this summer and then she doesn't even show up today?
Gloria: Maybe Kylie change her mind about camp. Maybe she plans to be with many men, and she doesn't deserve you.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I hid it very well from Manny, but I hated that girl. She was getting too serious too fast.

Quote from Haley

Phil: Wow.
Haley: Dad, you know it's not a movie called Demolition Notice, right?

Quote from Phil

Phil: I built this theater with these two hands plus the 28 hands of 14 other guys.
Alex: You built this?
Phil: Renovated it. Before I got into real estate, I worked construction.
Haley: You worked construction?
Phil: Yeah. Stop saying it like that.

Quote from Mitchell

Claire: You know what? You're right. Let's do you. Your problem is bigger than mine anyway 'cause if your plan is to cry in front of Lily, forget it. You're too emotionally constipated.
Mitchell: I-I know you're joking, Claire but sometimes sometimes words hurt, you know? And to think that my own sister [voice breaks] My own sister would accuse me of- Oh, screw it. I'll just work up some tears with a sad movie.

Quote from Gloria

Manny: Aw. You bought me a balloon.
Gloria: What?
Manny: And a teddy bear. When did you buy all this stuff?
Gloria: Uh, when when you were asleep. And I got you a strawberry milk shake.
Manny: Mom, you're the best.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: He couldn't remember a thing. All I had to do was to get him past the 5:00 deadline so that he couldn't go on that trip with Kylie. I know what happens at camp. I've seen Meatballs.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Does this place look familiar?
Alex: Oh, yeah. This is where we were all murdered.
Phil: No, silly. This is where you girls saw your first movie. Halfway through Hare-Abian Nights, I looked over and your little heads were pressed together like the cutest tepee ever.
Luke: And where was I during all of this family fun?
Phil: Buddy, the three of us were having a girls' day. You get it.

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