Scrubs Quotes



Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Dumb Luck

Dr. Kelso: I feel like I've given my life to this place and got nothing in return. I mean, is there an MRI machine in my basement? Maybe. I guess I just wanted to end my career on my own terms, you know?


Popular Quotes

Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

Quote Collections

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Quote from Dr. Cox in My Last Day

J.D.: [v.o.] Ah, just say it.
J.D.: You know, Dr. Cox, I want to thank you for this whole year.
Dr. Cox: Oh, no, no, no, no.
J.D.: And I just want to know if I can buy you dinner.
Dr. Cox: That'd be terrific.
J.D.: Great! I'm off in a half hour-
Dr. Cox: Oh, no! Here I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But to sit and eat with you? That's... That's just... That's crazy talk. I have half a mind to issue you a drug test.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Mentor

J.D.: Do you think I've damaged ligaments?
Dr. Cox: I don't care. Now, can I count on you to never drop by here again? Or shall I just move?
J.D.: Oh, you can't leave a place with this much warmth. I especially love this shelf filled with photos of your friends and family.
J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, if he comes at you, just try and roll out the door.
Dr. Cox: Well, actually, you have a point. I guess watching the game by yourself with a Scotch isn't really the only way to watch a game, huh? I don't know. It's just that I've always thought of needing people as a sign of weakness.
J.D.: It's not.
Dr. Cox: Well, then... Would you stay and watch the game with me? Maybe have a slice of pizza?
J.D.: Of course I will.
Dr. Cox: I can braid your hair. No, I know the couch isn't very deep, but we could move the back cushion and spoon.
[A group of men enter the apartment and wave to Dr. Cox]
Dr. Cox: Hey, you guys, what do you say? Beer and chips in the back. Just ignore them. And will you tell me the answer to this question. Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?