Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Monday, January 18, 2021

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Hero

J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and honestly I think the only reason you're not down at that hospital right now is that you're afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. That's partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because, well... I told you that I was afraid earlier, so please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate to me things I've already said, because I know the things that I've already said. In fact, I'm the one who said them.

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Janitor in My Hero

J.D.: What's wrong?
Janitor: I lost my mop.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: No. But that's the only thing that could make me unhappy, right? You people, you think of me as nothing but The Janitor.
J.D.: That's not true.
Janitor: What's my name? [covers name badge]
J.D.: I know that the nurses call you Sir Plunge-a-lot.
Janitor: I know.
J.D.: Come on. I'm sure you don't know my name so-
Janitor: John Michael Dorian.
J.D.: How did you know my middle name?
Janitor: Because I care.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Mirror Image

Dr. Cox: You love spaghetti. You had some just last night, didn't ya?
Jack: No, I didn't!
Dr. Cox: Jordan, the boy is lying to me.
Jordan: Oh, Perry, nobody likes a tattle-tail!
Jack: Nobody does, Perry! [throws his spaghetti at his father]
[later that night, Dr. Cox tucks Jack into bed:]
Dr. Cox: All right, champ. Just in case you get hungry later on. [drops spaghetti on Jack's face]

Quote from Turk in My Own Worst Enemy

Elliot: Hey, I'm sorry for barging in so late, I hope I didn't interrupt anything important-
Turk: Actually, since I'm diabetic, Carla only lets me eat one candy bar every six months, so she was helping me choose which one to go with. First, we cut out all candy that sounds remotely racist, which includes all dark chocolate, and I know this sounds weird but, Jujubes. Then Carla was like "What about Junior Mints?", and I was like "Junior Mints?" Baby, if I want my candy to freshen my breath, I'd just lap some toothpaste on a whatchamacallit bar and go to town on that bad boy, you know what I'm saying? She knows I'm changing the subject 'cause she's sad. Come here, come here, Elliot. [they hug]
Elliot: No.
Turk: Okay. [walks away]
Carla: What did he ask you?
Elliot: Oh, he just wanted to know if there's anything I needed.
Carla: Elliott?
Elliot: He asked me if they still make Mars bars.