Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Big Brother

Dr. Cox: Turn around. Turn around. You see Dr. Wen in there? He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and the patient died. He's gonna tell them what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, then he's going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves. That's why we make jokes. We don't do it because it's fun. We do it so we can get by. And sometimes because it's fun. But mostly it's the getting by thing. And by the way... [bobs head] Bob. Who doesn't get that?

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from J.D. in My Missed Perception

Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.
Dr. Cox: [groans]
Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange man, aren't you?
J.D.: I was a preemie.

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Quote from Dr. Cox in My Hard Labor

J.D.: The kid's not even born yet, and I'm already screwing up his life. I just wanted him to be really happy, and normal, you know?
Dr. Cox: Okay, first of all, Newbie, we're talking about your kid. So the whole normal part was never gonna happen. And you didn't mess up his life.
J.D.: Ah, come on, statistics show that kids whose parents stay together-
Dr. Cox: "Statistics show"? Who- Who cares, what statistics show? I mean, look at medicine. 80% of people with pancreatic cancer die within five years. 95% of appendectomies occur with zero complications. But we both know pancreatic cancer patients that lived, and appendix patients that, unfortunately, passed. Statistics mean nothing to the individual. You're either gonna be a good parent to that kid, or you're not. I mean, hell, your parents were divorced, and you somehow managed to become a relatively successful doctor. And I'm sure there's someone somewhere who would be proud to call you their son.
J.D.: Would you be proud to call me your son?
Dr. Cox: This conversation's over.

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Best Friend's Wedding

Dr. Kelso: Just a club soda, please. I'm driving.
Woman: It's an open bar, cutie.
Dr. Kelso: Give me a bucket of scotch. [gives J.D. his car keys] Sport, take these and keep moving.

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Growing Pains

Nurse: Happy birthday, Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, thank you.
Elliot: Oh, my God, is that a smile?
Dr. Kelso: Well, it's like the last year, when the safety brake failed on Enid's wheelchair, and she started rolling toward our pool, I told myself: "Bob, it's already too late to stop it so you might as well sit back and enjoy it."