Scrubs Quotes

Scrubs

Scrubs

Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Recurring Actors: Robert Maschio, Sam Lloyd, Aloma Wright, Christa Miller, Johnny Kastl, Nicole Sullivan, Heather Graham, Tom Cavanagh, Elizabeth Banks, Eliza Coupe, Kerry Bishé, Michael Mosley, Dave Franco.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

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Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Fruit Cups

Dr. Kelso: Is there one bathroom in this damn place that has toilet paper, or do I have to start carrying around a basket of leaves?

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Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Jordan in Their Story

Keith: I love you.
Elliot: I love you too.
Jordan: Wow, what the hell was that?
Elliot: I finally told Keith I loved him.
Jordan: Now that you've said what he wants hear, he doesn't have to work for it. It's like when guys are really trying to sleep with you. When you finally give it up, there are no more flowers. Next thing you know, it's 20 years later, and you're standing over him while he sleeps, your third Martini in one hand and a steak knife in the other. And sure, he's taking his sleeping pills, so you can slice his arm open a little bit without waking him up. But it's not satisfying, and you know why? Because you've lost the power. Hey Per-Per! Did you figure out what happened to your arm?
Dr. Cox: Nope.
Jordan: Phew.
Elliot: Yes, phew.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Interpretation

Dr. Cox: You know what, you're right. Skip Jack altogether and go with whatever you think. Whatever makes you comfortable.
[later:]
Dr. Cox: Jack, Jack, Jack... Nothing, huh? My God, this is so boring.

Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!