That '70s Show Quotes

That '70s Show

That '70s Show

A group of teenage friends enjoy the final years of the '70s in small-town Wisconsin.

Starring: Topher Grace, Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, Danny Masterson, Laura Prepon, Wilmer Valderrama, Debra Jo Rupp, Kurtwood Smith, Don Stark.
Recurring Actors: Tanya Roberts, Lisa Robin Kelly, Tommy Chong.
Original Run: 1998-2006.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Eric in When the Levee Breaks

Eric: I gotta tell you, this "being grown up" thing really seems to work for us. It's like we're already good at being married.
Donna: All we did was eat.
Eric: Hey, a little secret they don't tell you? That's all marriage is.


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Quote from Red in That '70s Finale

Kelso: Oh, Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Hyde: And that, my friends, is the last "foot-in-ass" of the decade. Cheers.
Kitty: Michael, it is so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room were just asking about you.
Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
Kitty: Oh! [giggles]
Red: You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.
Hyde: Look at that. He had one more in him.

Quote from Kitty in Killer Queen

Kitty: Okay, what were you two talking about?
Red: Well, Kitty, I had a stash of gifts down there for every occasion. That way, if I forgot to buy you something, I'd still be covered.
Kitty: You buy my gifts in bulk?
Red: No, it's more of a vast inventory of love.
Kitty: Well, you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! Yeah! I can do that too!

Quote from Red in Till the Next Goodbye

Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

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Quote from Hyde in Time is on My Side

Red: Steven. When are you moving out?
Hyde: Soon.
Red: How's your girlfriend?
Hyde: Shallow as hell.
Red: Job?
Hyde: Dead-end.
Red: Future?
Hyde: Bleak.
Red: Kitty, feed the boy.

Quote from Red in Red Fired Up

Kitty: Hi. How was your day?
Red: I had to let Earl go.
Eric: Let Earl go? You yelled at him until he cried.
Red: Hey. What kind of a man cries after only 15 minutes of yelling?
Eric: Well, I'm sorry. I don't like the way you handled Earl. Dad, he was your friend.
Kitty: Eric, hush, hush, hush, hush.
Red: Eric, work is work. You don't show up late, you don't make excuses, and you don't not work. If it wasn't work, they wouldn't call it work. They'd call it super, wonderful, crazy fun time. Or skippity-doo. Oh, jeez. Why the hell am I even talking to you?

Quote from Eric in I'm Free

Agent Armstrong: What is Fez's favorite tv show?
Fez: Well, it depends. Basically, I just flip until I see nipples.
Kitty: Sometimes, I feel like a loaf of bread. Everyone keeps taking a slice of me until all that's left are two crusty pieces that nobody wants. And I just want to scream, "Appreciate me, damn it." But I don't. Why? Because my mother always told me that nice girls shouldn't make a fuss. And now, I am a flipping doormat!
Eric: Okay, look, man. Prison is not an option for me, okay? I can't pee in front of other people.