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‘Finale Part 2’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Modern Family: Finale Part 2

1118. Finale Part 2

Aired April 8, 2020

The entire family discovers saying goodbye is much harder than it seems.

Quote from Jay

Jay: I found more hot sauce in the garage. Muy caliente.
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Oof! I almost gave it away, there. I got a big surprise for Gloria in the works. I'm learning Spanish. Every chance I get, I pop my earbuds in, learn a few lessons. Program's even got a cool feature. Any phrase I want to learn, I just say it in English, and it spits it right back at me in Español. I'm sorry, I mean "Spanish." Loco!


Quote from Cameron

Cameron: Okay, well, now our only option is the 9:00 p.m. Fortunately, it's a direct flight into Kansas City and then just a short hop on HamTrak, so...
Alex: Did you just say "Ham"...

Quote from Dylan

Haley: Oh, we love our new place, by the way. Thanks again for putting in a good word for us with the owner.
Mitchell: Yeah, he just needed some reassurance, considering most of Dylan's money is tied up in Dave & Buster's gift cards.
Dylan: Safer than banks.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Huh. Flood warnings this time. Oh, and a swarm of locusts has been spotted in the flight path. What part of the Old Testament are we moving to?

Quote from Haley

Haley: How many nights did we spend in these exact same positions?
Alex: Me doing homework by flashlight, and you inventing new illnesses to get out of P.E.
Haley: Oh, yeah! Remember when I had frumbles?

Quote from Gloria

Mitchell: Oh! Uh, Cam, our car's here.
Claire: [voice breaking] Oh. So, this is really it?
Cameron: We are gonna miss you all so much. And, here, I want you to read this, but not until after I leave.
Gloria: It's gonna make me cry, isn't it, you beautiful, corn-fed son of a bitch?

Quote from Cameron

Phil: You guys are gonna visit, right?
Cameron: Of course. And you all are gonna visit us. It's just a couple quick flights and a short Goober ride from the airport.
Alex: Did he just say...

Quote from Lily

Lily: I said I wasn't gonna cry.
Manny: And you're not.
Lily: Yeah. It's called strength.

Quote from Cameron

Phil: It's nice we have this extra time together, thanks to that lucky tornado.
Claire: It hit an elementary school, Phil.
Cameron: Well, no kids were there. It's opening day of squirrel-hunting season.

Quote from Phil

Gloria: Jay, do you want to come and join your family? Jay! [no response] He's been like this a lot lately... in his own world.
Phil: Well, it's a tough time. Mitch and Cam leaving, Manny heading out next week, plus I'm missing his birthday for a tumbling congress in the desert. You've probably heard of it. Turning Man?

Quote from Joe

Joe: Your Earl Grey.
Manny: Oh, thank you. [slurps] Ugh! Is there vinegar in here?
Joe: Congratulations. You're dead! Never take a drink if you haven't watched it be made.
Manny: Uh, he saw this special called "You Cruise, You Lose," and he's convinced something bad is going to happen to me on my trip.
Joe: If this had been the real thing, you'd be on a container ship halfway to the slave markets in Tripoli.

Quote from Cameron

Alex: So, just because I'm curious...
Cameron: Yeah, it's a livestock train, but people ride it, too. But don't worry, we're in first class with the show hogs.

Quote from Manny

Cameron: Hey, you're sure now's not a bad time to borrow your garment steamer?
Manny: Of course not. And this thing's a marvel. Who knew George Foreman had one more in him after his grill?

Quote from Phil

Gloria: I'm so glad that you're here. Do you remember that little problem that I told you I had?
Phil: Everyone has dreams like that. The Japanese have a whole genre of comic books about it.
Gloria: No, no, no. It's about Jay. I don't know if he's losing his hearing or he's depressed or what. Probably he's ashamed to talk to me, but...
Phil: But not to his best friend. Say no more. I just need you to fill a spaghetti pot with water and boil it.
Gloria: How is that gonna help?
Phil: Oh, it's a backup for Cam's suit. I lost all confidence in George Foreman after his teeth-whitening system burned my gums.

Quote from Cameron

Gloria: So nice.
Cameron: What? Nice? It was the perfect goodbye letter. It's "The Notebook" meets the first 10 minutes of "Up." It was enough to make you curse God for giving you the ability to love.
Gloria: It was a poem where every line started with a letter of my name.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Chaqueta. Sombrero. What are you? I know you're masculine.
Gloria: What is wrong with you?
Jay: What are you talking about?
Gloria: You're acting crazy, and it's scaring me. You're too young to be acting like an old man.
Jay: [Spanish: "Who are you calling an old man?"]
Gloria: [Spanish: "I'm not mad at you, I--"]
Jay: [Spanish: "I'm learning Spanish for you. Surprise, my love."] I've been using this app, you know, so I'll know what's going on when I go with you to Colombia this summer.
Gloria: [gasps] You're coming?!
Jay: You've been staring at my family for 12 years. Least I can do is stare at yours for one summer.
Gloria: You're wonderful. But no staring, and never, ever take the same route twice. Ay, Jay, you're gonna love it.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [v.o.] A lot can happen to a family over the years. New additions... New struggles. You don't always mark the moments, because you're too busy taking care of life. Best you can do sometimes is remind yourself to cherish every single...

Quote from Jay

Gloria: And don't forget that Joe and I are leaving to Colombia for the whole summer.
Phil: How's that gonna be for Jay?
Jay: Rough. If you drive past my house and see me sock-sliding past the window with a scotch in my hand, that's just how I deal with grief.

Quote from Phil

Cameron: Well, don't stress out too much. The... The car is here.
Mitchell: Okay.
Claire: Oh.
Phil: So... this is goodbye again.
Mitchell: Yeah.
Phil: It's gonna take a minute to ramp back up to all the emotion... [voice breaking] I'm there.

Quote from Jay

Cameron: Is it alive?
Jay: No.
Mitchell: Is it scissors?
Jay: Sure.
Cameron: No, but you said it was heavier than a piano!
Jay: I just want this to be over. Can we be done with games?

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