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Dance Dance Revelation

‘Dance Dance Revelation’

Season 2, Episode 10 -  Aired December 8, 2010

Claire feels threatened when Gloria wants to volunteer on the school dance committee. Jay pushes Phil to stand up for himself on a trip to the mall. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron are concerned about Lily's biting.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: He's probably just confused. You know who I bet did it, though? Billy. Rhymes with "Lily." Plus, he is very aggressive.
Cameron: His babysitter is right over there. She's- She's not much of a disciplinarian. Because I can assure you if our child did something like this we would be on her like white on rice. And I know that sounds a little bit like a racial slur because we're white and she presumably likes rice but I didn't intend it that way.


Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: There's a whole section on biting on this mommy forum.
Cameron: Oh, good. What does it say?
Mitchell: "My son was biting, so I got a stranger to yell at him. Being disciplined by someone else outside the family scared him into stopping."
Cameron: Idiots!
Mitchell: Cam.
Cameron: I am not hiring some hobo to come over here and traumatize my child. She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: Okay, you know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?
Cameron: I don't know anything anymore.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: What else does it say?
Mitchell: Okay, well, this one says, "When my daughter bit her brother I put a pinch of pepper in her mouth. She cried and cried, but she never bit again." Smiley face.
Cameron: Oh, well, the smiley face makes it okay. I waterboarded our toddler. LOL.
Mitchell: All right, what do you suggest we do?
Cameron: That we log off the Spanish Inquisition Web site and handle this with love.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: I am so sorry. I am so sorry. No, just come over. We'll watch a movie, put the whole thing behind you. Okay, see you in a bit. That was Longinus. He's in a very bad place.
Mitchell: Oh, no. What happened?
Cameron: Well, apparently some maniac went crazy at the mall and attacked him with Oasis for Men.
Mitchell: Oh, well, I think we all knew that day was coming.

Quote from Jay

Phil: It's Dunphy.
Jay: That's what I said Dumphy.
Phil: No, not "Dum." Dunphy.
Jay: Dumphy.
Phil: Say "Dun."
Jay: Dun.
Phil: Say "phy."
Jay: Phy.
Phil: Dunphy.
Jay: Dumphy.

Quote from Manny

Jay: Come on. Today, Miss Daisy.
Manny: Actually, Miss Daisy was the one being driven, not the one driving.
Jay: Never saw it.
Manny: It's called Driving Miss Daisy.
Jay: You got a real lip on you today, you know that?

Quote from Gloria

Claire: Gloria, Gus is a symbol.
Gloria: A sex symbol?
Claire: Oh, stop it, Gloria. I'm already crying.
Gloria: Claire, I didn't come here to steal your thunder. Your thunder is your thunder and my thunder is my thunder.

Quote from Phil

Longinus: Oasis for Men?
Phil: That's funny. You made that sound like a question, then you didn't wait for me to answer.
Longinus: What?
Phil: Here, let me show you. You go- You go, "Oasis for Men?" You see what I mean? You went "Oasis for Men?" You should have said, "Oasis for Men." Then I go, "Yeah. Give me two." But instead, you went, "Oasis for Men."
Longinus: Okay, I get it.
Phil: You see what I mean?
Longinus: I get it!
Phil: No, I'm not sure you do! You sprayed before "men." You went "Oasis for Men."
Longinus: Okay. Okay.
Phil: Men. Men.
Longinus: Okay, stop it.
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men! Men!
Longinus: Stop it!
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men! Men!
Longinus: Stop it! Stop it!
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men!

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay, look. This might work.
Manny: Well, except that it's turquoise. Oh, and a bra!
Gloria: Do you think the kids in my village have pocket squares?
Manny: Here we go with the village.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: [aside to camera] It's time to play everyone's favorite game.
Cameron: "Let's blame the gay dads."
Mitchell: You know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.
Cameron: Charles Manson.
Mitchell: Shall we go on?
Cameron: Naomi Campbell.

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