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‘Dance Dance Revelation’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Modern Family: Dance Dance Revelation

210. Dance Dance Revelation

Aired December 8, 2010

Claire feels threatened when Gloria wants to volunteer on the school dance committee. Jay pushes Phil to stand up for himself on a trip to the mall. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron are concerned about Lily's biting.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: He's probably just confused. You know who I bet did it, though? Billy. Rhymes with "Lily." Plus, he is very aggressive.
Cameron: His babysitter is right over there. She's- She's not much of a disciplinarian. Because I can assure you if our child did something like this we would be on her like white on rice. And I know that sounds a little bit like a racial slur because we're white and she presumably likes rice but I didn't intend it that way.

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Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: There's a whole section on biting on this mommy forum.
Cameron: Oh, good. What does it say?
Mitchell: "My son was biting, so I got a stranger to yell at him. Being disciplined by someone else outside the family scared him into stopping."
Cameron: Idiots!
Mitchell: Cam.
Cameron: I am not hiring some hobo to come over here and traumatize my child. She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: Okay, you know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?
Cameron: I don't know anything anymore.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: What else does it say?
Mitchell: Okay, well, this one says, "When my daughter bit her brother I put a pinch of pepper in her mouth. She cried and cried, but she never bit again." Smiley face.
Cameron: Oh, well, the smiley face makes it okay. I waterboarded our toddler. LOL.
Mitchell: All right, what do you suggest we do?
Cameron: That we log off the Spanish Inquisition Web site and handle this with love.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: I am so sorry. I am so sorry. No, just come over. We'll watch a movie, put the whole thing behind you. Okay, see you in a bit. That was Longinus. He's in a very bad place.
Mitchell: Oh, no. What happened?
Cameron: Well, apparently some maniac went crazy at the mall and attacked him with Oasis for Men.
Mitchell: Oh, well, I think we all knew that day was coming.

Quote from Jay

Phil: It's Dunphy.
Jay: That's what I said Dumphy.
Phil: No, not "Dum." Dunphy.
Jay: Dumphy.
Phil: Say "Dun."
Jay: Dun.
Phil: Say "phy."
Jay: Phy.
Phil: Dunphy.
Jay: Dumphy.

Quote from Manny

Jay: Come on. Today, Miss Daisy.
Manny: Actually, Miss Daisy was the one being driven, not the one driving.
Jay: Never saw it.
Manny: It's called Driving Miss Daisy.
Jay: You got a real lip on you today, you know that?

Quote from Gloria

Claire: Gloria, Gus is a symbol.
Gloria: A sex symbol?
Claire: Oh, stop it, Gloria. I'm already crying.
Gloria: Claire, I didn't come here to steal your thunder. Your thunder is your thunder and my thunder is my thunder.

Quote from Phil

Longinus: Oasis for Men?
Phil: That's funny. You made that sound like a question, then you didn't wait for me to answer.
Longinus: What?
Phil: Here, let me show you. You go- You go, "Oasis for Men?" You see what I mean? You went "Oasis for Men?" You should have said, "Oasis for Men." Then I go, "Yeah. Give me two." But instead, you went, "Oasis for Men."
Longinus: Okay, I get it.
Phil: You see what I mean?
Longinus: I get it!
Phil: No, I'm not sure you do! You sprayed before "men." You went "Oasis for Men."
Longinus: Okay. Okay.
Phil: Men. Men.
Longinus: Okay, stop it.
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men! Men!
Longinus: Stop it!
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men! Men!
Longinus: Stop it! Stop it!
Phil: Men! Men! Men! Men!

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay, look. This might work.
Manny: Well, except that it's turquoise. Oh, and a bra!
Gloria: Do you think the kids in my village have pocket squares?
Manny: Here we go with the village.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: [aside to camera] It's time to play everyone's favorite game.
Cameron: "Let's blame the gay dads."
Mitchell: You know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.
Cameron: Charles Manson.
Mitchell: Shall we go on?
Cameron: Naomi Campbell.

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