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‘A Slight at the Opera’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Modern Family: A Slight at the Opera

414. A Slight at the Opera

Aired February 6, 2013

When the lead actor in Cameron's school production of "Phantom of the Opera" is taken ill, Manny is desperate to replace him. Phil joins Jay on the golf course, where they compete against Mitchell and Pepper. Meanwhile, Alex can barely contain her skepticism when Gloria takes her to a psychic, and Claire gets distracted as she looks after Lily and baby Joe.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Oh, you always do this. You cram stuff in the freezer without thinking about it. I opened the door, and a frozen turkey almost fell on my foot.
Phil: I keep pulling it to the left. Are we sure the house is level?
Claire: Are you not the least bit sorry? I could have broken a toe.
Phil: Honey, I'm sorry for dozens of things every day that actually happen. If I start apologizing for things that don't happen, how productive of a person would I be?

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Quote from Gloria

Gloria: No, it's not just me. Three mothers are giving the party, and we need all our names in the card: Gloria Pritchett, Sara Leonard, Dee Cho. What do you mean that there's no more room? Dee Cho must go on.
Alex: Okay, come on. That one had to be on purpose.

Quote from Pepper

Pepper: Don't listen to him. He's "Cat's in the Cradling" you.
Mitchell: What?
Pepper: He's playing on your emotions so you lose your edge. I do it to my son all the time.
Jay: Did he say "son"?
Pepper: Yes. He's a Navy S.E.A.L. Oh, I've said too much.
Phil: What's "Cats in the cradle"?
Pepper: You know, that song about the dad who misses all the important moments in his kid's life? Stay strong, just like Kyle did in Yemen. Oh, my God, I'm a sieve.

Quote from Pepper

Jay: What the hell?
Pepper: Hello, boys.
Phil: What a sweet ride, Pepper.
Jay: What are you guys doing here?
Mitchell: I've been golfing for a few weeks. Pepper's been teaching me.
Pepper: I grew up golfing with my father, the great Chaim Saltzman. Or as he was known around the clubhouse, Chad Treadwell.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] I decided to go gentle with Phil, which didn't come easy to me, because I've always been a bit of a drill sergeant when it comes to sports. And with the new baby, Gloria's been buggin' me to have more patience. But come on. He's been alive a month. How hard is it to support your own head?

Quote from Phil

Pepper: Ohh! I was the same way with my father. It's always complicated.
Phil: Not for mine. My dad was just supportive. Never missed a tumbling meet or a break-dance brawl. Heck, I'd set up the sound system for our school assembly, he'd be the loudest voice in the crowd. "Hey, everybody! Check out my son's equipment!"

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] I'm not the strongest golfer, and I think it's holding me back in business. Too bad deals aren't closed in a trampoline park. I'd just lazy-back into a Rudolph into a quadriffus right up the corporate ladder.

Quote from Luke

Luke: Hey, dad, you coming to my play tonight?
Alex: "Your" play? You only painted the sets.
Luke: Yeah, and Michelangelo "only" painted the sixteenth chapel.
Alex: Maybe don't keep your face so close to the paint cans.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Thanks so much for the quick lesson, Jay. Just think of me as a blob of Clay, waiting for your experienced hands to caress and coax me-
Jay: First rule of golf: shh.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay, thank you so much for taking care of the baby. Cam has me running all kinds of errands for the play.
Claire: Yeah, well, you gotta keep your eye on the caller I.D.
Gloria: I have to go to the dry cleaners to pick up the costumes.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Gloria: Then I have to go get the dry ice for the fog machine.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Gloria: And maybe I'll go get Cam some flowers.
Claire: Oh, Alex can help you with all that.
Gloria: Oh, perfect. Okay, let's go. We can't be late, or there won't be any dry ice in the house.
Alex: [laughs] Good one.
Gloria: What?

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