Monk Quotes



Adrian Monk is a former police officer turned private consultant, whose obsessive compulsions took over his life following the death of his wife.

Starring: Tony Shalhoub, Traylor Howard, Bitty Schram, Jason Gray-Stanford, Ted Levine.
Recurring Actors: Stanley Camel, Hector Elizondo, Tim Bagley, Jarrad Paul, John Turturro, Sarah Silverman, Emmy Clarke, Max Morrow / Kane Ritchotte.
Original Run: 2001-2009.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Visits a Farm

Adrian Monk: [coughs]
Lieutenant Disher: You okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. It's just, you know everything. The earth and the outdoors. All the animals and animal by-products.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, you know, all the food you eat comes from farms just like this.
Adrian Monk: Not anymore. Not as of the last 23 minutes.


Popular Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Daredevil

Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Bathroom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? [Monk is silent] I'll go with you.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, let me go with you.
Natalie: We promised Dr. Kroger we wouldn't leave you alone.
Adrian Monk: I am not suicidal. I just wish I was never born. There's a difference.

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Is At Your Service

Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I've never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk's shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
Natalie: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
Adrian Monk: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes...
Natalie: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
Adrian Monk: At least now we know. Information really is power.

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion

Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.

Quote Collections

Trending Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Gets Fired

Adrian Monk: Sharona said I should start off with a joke to break the ice.
Ms. Lennington: Who's Sharona?
Adrian Monk: My nurse. Do you like Marmaduke?
Ms. Lennington: Who?
Adrian Monk: He's in the comics. He's a dog. But he's big. He's the biggest dog in the world. Today, he got stuck in the doggie door again. And the man said, "At least this time, he's facing the right way." [slight chuckle] You can learn a lot from Marmaduke.
Ms. Lennington: I think I just did.

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike

Natalie: Mr. Monk, you lied back there. About a murder case!
Adrian Monk: Oh, great. Okay, look. I'm not 100% sure it was murder. It could have been suicide. Detective Thurber agrees with me.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I was with you. You showed me all the evidence. The- The blood on the chair, no fingerprints on the bullets.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, obviously, you don't understand. Some things are bigger than the truth.
Natalie: Like what?
Adrian Monk: Like that mountain of garbage out there! The truth is buried alive out there.

Quote from Kevin Dorfman in Mr. Monk and the Game Show

Dwight Ellison: So, Kevin, did I understand Adrian correctly? You won the lottery a couple years ago?
Kevin Dorfman: Yes, I did. That is accurate. And you're probably wondering what happened to all the money. That's a fair question. Here's a tip, if you're ever lucky enough to win the big jackpot, you should probably not make some of the mistakes I made. For one thing, Vegas, it's a good place to avoid. Secondly, if you're ever going to hire an accountant, you might want to make sure he's certified. And most importantly, never, under any circumstances, marry Lisa Abramowitz.
Dwight Ellison: [laughs] I'll try to remember that.
Kevin Dorfman: Or her sister Shelly.