TV Quotes

Captain Stottlemeyer: The cousin can't identify the guy. Did you hear anything?
Adrian Monk: What time was that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: 5:30.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no. I wouldn't have heard a thing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sleeping?
Adrian Monk: No. I was vacuuming.

Natalie: Are you afraid of frogs?
Adrian Monk: I don't know. I've never been this close to one. [A frog lands on Monk's shoe] Yes. The answer is yes. Put frogs on the list. Where's the list?
Natalie: I got it. I got it. Where does it go?
Adrian Monk: Put them between possums and, uh, soccer riots. No, no, no. Uh, after after soccer riots. And before, uh, before hailstones. Yeah, so it goes...
Natalie: I got it, I got it: Soccer riots, frogs, hailstones.
Adrian Monk: At least now we know. Information really is power.

Natalie: Where are you going?
Adrian Monk: Bathroom.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Why? [Monk is silent] I'll go with you.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, let me go with you.
Natalie: We promised Dr. Kroger we wouldn't leave you alone.
Adrian Monk: I am not suicidal. I just wish I was never born. There's a difference.

Ms. Lennington: Mr. Monk, what would you say is your greatest strength?
Adrian Monk: Oh. Mm... [long, expectant pause] My decisiveness.

Adrian Monk: Don't tell me. Grandpa Neville.
Natalie: That's Grandpa Neville. Well, it's only fitting that we have his picture up. After all, he is our inspiration, right? Leap and a net will appear.

Adrian Monk: Sharona said I should start off with a joke to break the ice.
Ms. Lennington: Who's Sharona?
Adrian Monk: My nurse. Do you like Marmaduke?
Ms. Lennington: Who?
Adrian Monk: He's in the comics. He's a dog. But he's big. He's the biggest dog in the world. Today, he got stuck in the doggie door again. And the man said, "At least this time, he's facing the right way." [slight chuckle] You can learn a lot from Marmaduke.
Ms. Lennington: I think I just did.