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‘Integrity’ Quotes

Modern Family: Integrity

621. Integrity

Aired April 29, 2015

When Phil and Jay pick up Lily's old princess castle to hand down to Joe, they're both upset at decisions their wives have seemingly made. As Mitchell and Cameron babysit Joe, they start to think again about expanding their family. Meanwhile, Gloria urges Haley to stand up to her boss, and Claire wants to cheer Luke up by getting him an award at school.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [aside to camera] I wanted to kill him. But I bite my tongue, because in this family they think that I am a Colombian hothead which is crazy, because a Colombian hot head is when you set somebody's head on fire. It smells terrible, but it sends a message.

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Quote from Gloria

Gavin Saint Clair: What do you want? Oh.
Gloria: I just want you to listen to my voice and look into my eyes and ask yourself "Did this woman made it all the way here from Colombia without knowing some very bad men who would love to do her a favor?"

Quote from Manny

Manny: That cinnamon stick is from Sri Lanka!
Luke: Get off me! You smell like a candle.
Manny: It's lavender bath beads, you son of a bitch!
Alex: And the award for the saddest brawl goes to...

Quote from Manny

Manny: Sarah Fink, my lab partner who I hoped one day would be my love partner. I caught one of my so-called friends hitting on her and now she's like the fetal pig we once so happily shared cold, unresponsive, heartless.
Jay: You got two choices: you can mope your way up those stairs and soak in a pity bath or you can pick yourself up, march into that school and act like you don't even know that girl.
Manny: [sighs] Thanks. If Mom asks, I borrowed her tub pillow.

Quote from Jay

Manny: I picked a fine time to run out of lavender bath beads.
Jay: [to Joe] I wanted two rough-and-tumble boys. I got a Manny and a pedi.

Quote from Phil

Phil: She's my first girlfriend, really. This time tomorrow, she'll be in our living room if we can fit her through the doorway.
Claire: Okay, I feel like I have to ask.
Luke: Dad's about to buy a Miss Pac-Man.
Phil: "Ms." What was our struggle for?

Quote from Claire

Claire: [aside to camera] I always worried that Alex winning all those awards would bother Luke, and looks like it finally did. Can't be easy growing up in the shadow of a superstar sister. Look at Mitchell. Bam.

Quote from Haley

Haley: [aside to camera] My first day off in a month, I'm headed out the door to go shopping with Gloria and my stupid boss needs me to pick up some stupid orchid. Like my time's not valuable? Gloria was gonna help me pick out a toe ring.

Quote from Gloria

[Horn honks as Haley stands in a parking spot]
Haley: Go somewhere else.
Gloria: It's me, Gloria.
Haley: What are you doing? I told you to go shopping without me.
Gloria: I couldn't enjoy knowing you're standing there like a little orange cone.

Quote from Gloria

Haley: Oh, my God. What have you done?
Gloria: He messes with something I love, I mess with something he loves.
Haley: The second it goes missing he's going to check security cameras, and I'm going to get fired.
Gloria: So what? He's the worst person I have ever met and there was a man in my village named Flavio the Baby Puncher.

Quote from Lily

Cameron: He is so adorable.
Mitchell: I know, isn't he? Remember when Lily was like this?
Lily: What do you say when I'm not here?

Quote from Lily

Cameron: Okay, do you have any queens?
Lily: Yeah, two big ones.
Cameron: Okay, you know what? It was funny the first time. Now it's just getting mean.


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