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‘The Prescott’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Modern Family: The Prescott

1110. The Prescott

Aired January 8, 2020

Alex’s new company is putting her up at a new luxury apartment with full amenities and a list of high-profile residents that the family is eager to take advantage of, without her knowing. Phil is on a mission to review the restaurant’s famous sliders for his food blog, while Mitch and Cam sneak in separately to meet its most famous resident, David Beckham. Meanwhile, Luke and Manny head straight for the gym to try and pick up on older women and end up in some hot water with a few of the residents.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Avoiding the security robot would be tricky, but Finley had a weakness... he can only detect people if they're moving. And it was worth the risk... Pardon claimed to have the world's best beef slider, and my... my followers are dying for a review. Well, all but one. I have a troll. Screen name "Close to Utlaw," wherever that is. We recently got into a... a heated comment war. Insults were hurled, mothers disparaged. Who knew the Internet could be so negative?

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Quote from Manny

Jay: [aside to camera] Recently, I got a special edition Blu-ray of the best movie ever made, "Lawrence of Arabia." Word is, The Prescott has a state-of-the-art screening room with surround sound. Know what it doesn't have? Manny.
[flashback:]
Manny: Hello! I would've gone with a tracking shot there. I sure hope he finds a plot out there in that desert.

Quote from Jay

Higgins: Behold, our famous candy wall.
Jay: Hey, Sugar Babies.
Higgins: Yes, honey buns?
Jay: No, Sugar Babies. The greatest movie candy of all time.
Higgins: A thousand apologies. I will track some down for you straight away.
Jay: You wouldn't mind?
Higgins: Mind? Please. There is no greater joy than fetching something I've never heard of for someone I've only just met.

Quote from Cameron

Higgins: May I help you with something?
Cameron: Oh. Uh, no, I'm just... I'm waiting for someone.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: And his name is David Beckham. Resident at The Prescott. Okay, Mitchell hates it when I do this, but every time I meet a celebrity, I ask them to record my outgoing message. My current one is from when I saw Snoop Dogg at a bank.
[plays message:]
Cameron: Sorry I missed you. As you can see...
Snoop Dogg: I'm busy!
Cameron: And sometimes things can...
Snoop Dogg: Get away from me!
Cameron: Please leave a message, including your phone number, just for...
Snoop Dogg: Security!

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: [aside to camera] I was not gonna let Cam ruin my chance to thank my wallpaper, Victoria Beckham, one-on-one. Okay, so, it was 1997. I was in Detroit for a Spice Girls concert with my girlfriend. I was going to propose to her, had the ring in my pocket and everything, when from the stage, Posh looked right at me and said, [British accent] "Be true to yourself, Mitchell!" [normal voice] Okay, you know, she might've said "Michigan," but she was looking right at me! She inspired me to come out that night. I had that diamond reset as an anklet charm, and I was off to the races.

Quote from Luke

Luke: What kind of gym bag is that, anyway?
Manny: It's a satchel, you ignorant sneeze.
Luke: You have been so unpleasant lately.
[aside to camera:]
Luke: On a definitely related note, Manny hasn't gotten any action in months. Well, other than whatever gave him carpal tunnel. Luckily, The Prescott has an '80s aerobi-cise class, which will be full of single older ladies. Women hit a sweet spot right after 40 where they still look great but their standards have lowered.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] Some moron food blogger took a shot at one of my favorite spots. So I go after him using my screen name, "Closet Outlaw." It escalates, and he turns his army of followers against me. As I wrote in my last comment... "Let's see how well my fist pairs with your face."

Quote from Luke

Luke: Still no sign of the ladies.
Manny: Maybe they're in a different cabana. Mine's here.
Luke: Let's wait for the blonde. I only know how to do this with even numbers.

Quote from Phil

Higgins: It looks like you're finished with the slider?
Phil: I am, and can I be honest? I prefer bigger buns.
Higgins: It's wonderful to just talk like men sometimes, isn't it?
Phil: It is.

Quote from Manny

Manny: This one's from me. The ribboning isn't my best... I have carpal tunnel.

Quote from Alex

Alex: [aside to camera] My new company is putting me up at The Prescott, a luxury residence with full amenities. I admit, this extravagant lifestyle can make me a little uncomfortable. [getting a foot massage] Gentle, Marta!

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Alex, you should know that a crook works at the hair salon downstairs... Adolfo of Venice.
Manny: Isn't he the colorist to the stars?
Jay: Thank you for asking even though I know you know.
Gloria: I hate him. Adolfo of Venice is actually Alan Carpman of Bakersfield. We started as hairdressers together, but he stole my hair dye formula.
Phil: For a family of generally lovely people, we sure have a lot of rivals.

Quote from Phil

Phil: And don't we get a tour of the building? This place has everything. Um, an archery range, a shark tank, a... a Westworld?

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: I need to run to the mall. Would you pick up some steaks from the farmers market for tonight?
Cameron: Oh, so you did remember it's date night. I was a little worried after your response to my Paperless Post.
Mitchell: Oh, come on. You know my maybes always turn into will attends.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Aww. When was the last time that you and I cooked a romantic dinner together?
Jay: We did it last week.
Gloria: I'm not talking about sprinkling hot dog slices on a DiGiorno's.
Jay: [to the valet] You couldn't bring my car before I got in trouble?

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] I've been secretly moonlighting as an online food blogger, "Foodie in a Hoodie"... it rhymes on the page. I've quickly developed a huge following, and The Prescott is home to the city's hottest restaurant, called Pardon.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hello.
Higgins: Ah, good day, sir. Forgive me. I'm new here. Still getting to know each of the tenants. I'm your concierge, Higgins.
Phil: You look so familiar. Have we met?
Higgins: 'Fraid not, no. I do get that a lot, though. I have an everyman face and body.
Phil: [notices the robot next to him] They're rising.
Higgins: Ah, yes, Finley. Patrols the building for non-residents using a motion sensor and face scanner. Useful, yes, but does he have that uniquely human ability to anticipate a person's every need? Coconut water?
Phil: I didn't even know I wanted this!
Higgins: Finley, away!

Quote from Phil

Higgins: Anything else I can help you with, sir?
Phil: Uh... no. I'm just headed down to the restaurant.
Higgins: [French accent] Pardon?
Phil: Your... in-house eatery.
Higgins: Pardon?
Phil: You know... uh, waiters, cutlery, daily specials. I think it's called Pardon.
Higgins: Of course. My mistake.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: [answers phone] Hey, sweetie, what's up? I'm... I'm kind of busy.
Mitchell: Cam, I'm hurt. It's my leg.
Cameron: What?
Mitchell: I slipped in the food court, and I'm all sticky and tweens are laughing at me. You have to come pick me up.

Quote from Luke

Luke: You're in pretty good shape for someone who's... 42? 43?
Woman: I'm 38.
Luke: Bye.

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