Frasier Quotes
Frasier
After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.
Starring:
Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors:
Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Niles in Fortysomething
Frasier: I know this piece backwards and forwards.
Niles: Perhaps if you start at the end you'll have better luck.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss
Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
Quote from Niles in To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote Collections
Trending Quotes
Quote from Frasier in Enemy at the Gate
Niles: Other motorists are getting angry.
Frasier: If they weren't so shortsighted, they'd see that I'm doing this for their own good. It's like correcting people's grammar. I don't do it to be popular.
Quote from Frasier in Frasier's Edge
Frasier: When I was a boy, my parents told me to reach for the stars. Sadly, I later learned that stars are just massive fiery balls of gas, which, were I to reach one, would vaporize me instantly. But tonight, with the Stephen R. Shafer Lifetime Achievement Award, you tell me that I have reached you. And you, ladies and gentlemen, are my stars. [to Eddie] And that's where you would applaud.
[Eddie yawns before running off to the bedroom]
Quote from Frasier in And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (Part 2)
Frasier: What is my offense? What egregious sin have I committed, that I should be so maligned? Was I to just sit idly by and watch these two misguided souls embark on doomed relationships? Would they have thanked me for that? Not very likely, I dare say.
Martin: Who moved the mustard?
Frasier: Top shelf, door.
Martin: Bingo.
Frasier: And then, when they were perched on the very brink of disaster, I snatched them from the gaping maw and placed them gently into one another's arms. But am I accorded a hero's welcome for my troubles? Am I hoisted on their shoulders and paraded about the room?
Martin: I don't have my glasses. What's the expiration date?
Frasier: Last week.
Martin: I'll chance it.
Frasier: No! Those two ingrates turn on me like vipers, and make me the villain of the piece. Well, hear me now. From this day forward, Frasier Crane will not interfere with those two. This is it. Finished. Finito. Non quam postea.
Martin: Uh-huh.
Frasier: I know I've made declarations like this before, but I tell you what, Dad, you mark the calendar. You note the time on your watch! This. Is. It.