Frasier Quotes

Frasier

Frasier

After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors: Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

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Quote from Frasier in Space Quest

Frasier: Can't have my coffee. Can't have my breakfast. [looking at Martin's chair] Oh, dear God, it wasn't a dream. I'll get him for this. And his little dog too.

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Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Niles in To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

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Quote from Frasier in Radio Wars

Niles: Frasier, what do you put in your bath water?
Frasier: You know very well it's a proprietary blend, Niles.
Niles: No, no, no. It's your super. There's something corroding the pipes in the unit below you. He thinks it may be something in your tub.
Frasier: [on the phone] Hello, yes, I'm sure it's not my fault but if you insist, I use... [waits for Niles to exit] ...jasmine, lavender, rose hips and a little Tahitian Vanilla.
Chicken: Yeah, well, that sounds okay. Boy, with a bath like that I bet the ladies sure go for you though, huh?
Frasier: Yes, well, love does enter through the nose.
Chicken: Hey, you know, the neighbors down here have been complaining about a little sound bleed-through. I think we got a bad tile. I sure would like to check it. I heard you sing into the phone earlier. You think you could, I don't know, do it again?
Frasier: All right. [Frasier starts singing "I'm in the Mood for Love" again]

Quote from Frasier in My Coffee with Niles

Frasier: You're in a fine mood today!
Martin: Ah, and by the way you left a mess in the kitchen.
Frasier: I had a piece of toast.
Martin: Yeah, and you didn't use a plate like I asked you to. And you buttered it on the counter. I know because you left a bunch a crumbs and toast sweat there.
Niles: Toast sweat?
Frasier: Yes, yes. It's when you put a piece of hot toast on any surface, it tends to leave little droplets of dew behind. Haven't you heard Dad's lecture on the evils of toast sweat? It's the scourge of our times!

Quote from Frasier in Voyage of the Damned

Roz: I like this opening joke you wrote, it's very funny.
Frasier: Thank you. I can't take all the credit, actually. I had a patty melt with Giggles before his show.