Frasier Quotes



After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Quote from Niles in When a Man Loves Two Women

Frasier: Glad you're here. Look, I'm so sorry about this morning.
Niles: Oh, oh, oh, not at all, I ended up playing an exhilarating game with Chip Emery.
Frasier: Oh.
Niles: I won two out of three sets, and if you recall, Chip was club champion four years running.
Frasier: Yes. And I also recall that that record comes with an asterisk. I believe his streak was interrupted by World War Two.
Niles: It was Korea and you know it.


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Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Martin in The Two Mrs. Cranes

Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

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Quote from Daphne in The Apparent Trap

Martin: Could you just once cook a traditional Thanksgiving meal? I mean, look at this cranberry sauce. It's supposed to keep the shape of the can, quiver a little bit. What are all these little chunks in there?
Daphne: Those are cranberries.

Quote from Niles in You Can Go Home Again

Waiter: You ready to order?
Niles: Uh, yes. Double decaf non-fat latte, mmm... medium foam, dusted with just the faintest whisper of cinnamon.
Frasier: I'll have a black coffee.
Niles: You'll have to forgive my brother. He just came in on the noon stage.
Frasier: I hope I never see the day when I am so frightfully pretentious that a good-old cup of American coffee isn't good enough for me.

Quote from Niles in And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (Part 2)

Daphne: A wedding reception? For you and Mel?
Niles: It's at the equestrian center. It's nothing major. It's very impromptu. Champagne, cake, we pet the horses, we're out of there by eleven.