Frasier Quotes



After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors: Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

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Quote from Roz in Fathers and Sons

Roz: Oh, my God. Are you still stuck picking a name for that application?
Daphne: Yeah, we can't come up with one.
Roz: Oh God, give it to me. And then I'll fill it in and you'll never have to see it and you won't feel stuck with it.
Daphne: That's a great idea.
[cut to five years later in the St. Osric's Academy boardroom]
Dean of Admissions: Howard Clifton is officially accepted. Who do we have next?
Admissions Officer: Last name "Crane", first name... "Ichabod".
Dean of Admissions: Well, if they're not going to take the application seriously, how can we expect them to take St. Osric's seriously?
[He stamps the Cranes' application with "Admission Denied"]


Popular Quotes

Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Martin in The Two Mrs. Cranes

Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

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Quote from Frasier in Docu.Drama

Roz: What is it, Frasier?
Frasier: Well, not to belittle your suggestion, B.K., which I love. It's just that particular piece of music, uh, has been a bit, ah, I don't know, a bit... overused. And it occurs to me that perhaps an equally evocative, but less familiar piece of music might better serve. Thank you.
Ed: You mean something like "The Planets" by Holst?
Frasier: Exactly, it's a little less on the nose.
B.K.: What about Phillip Glass? You know, go completely minimalist.
Frasier: It's like space. Now we're cooking.
Ed: Have you listened to Sun Ra?
B.K.: Or period music. Like, hits from the sixties.
Frasier: This is good.
Ed: For the American program, we can use American music, like Copeland.
Frasier: Better yet, Charles Ives. And then for the Russians, we can use-
April: Shostakovich!
Frasier: Let's do it!
Roz: Frasier! Can I talk to you for a second?
Frasier: Well, yes, of course, Roz. You're the boss. Be back in five, everybody.

Quote from Niles in Radio Wars

Daphne: You know, it's funny hearing you talk about "The Avengers." My first Halloween in America, I went to a party dressed as Mrs. Peel. Head-to-toe in that skintight black leather catsuit. Come to think of it, I still have it somewhere, and Halloween's coming up.
Martin: Catsuit, huh? [looking at Eddie] Better not let this guy hear you talking about that, he'll go nuts.
Niles: I would not! surprised if he did. Ho-ho-ho.

Quote from Niles in You Can Go Home Again

Waiter: You ready to order?
Niles: Uh, yes. Double decaf non-fat latte, mmm... medium foam, dusted with just the faintest whisper of cinnamon.
Frasier: I'll have a black coffee.
Niles: You'll have to forgive my brother. He just came in on the noon stage.
Frasier: I hope I never see the day when I am so frightfully pretentious that a good-old cup of American coffee isn't good enough for me.