Frasier Quotes



After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Quote from Frasier in Slow Tango in South Seattle

Thomas: Well, Amber, it was given to me... by God.
[out in the corridor:]
Frasier: By God?! Do you believe this guy's grandiosity? I'm God and he knows it!


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Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Martin in The Two Mrs. Cranes

Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

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Quote from Roz in The Show Where Lilith Comes Back

Roz: Why don't you ask her out to dinner, Dr. Crane? [Frasier glares at Roz]
Frasier: What a wonderful idea! And let me tell you why, Seattle. You see, even though our marriage was unsuccessful, Lilith and I are quite capable of conducting ourselves as adults, and even enjoying spending some time together, from time to time. So, Lilith, seven at my place?
[Frasier holds up a piece of paper to Roz, reading "You're Fired"]
[Roz responds with a cardboard folder bearing the words "I'm Union"]

Quote from Gertrude in Mother Load (Part 2)

Gertrude: You good for a few more hands?
Niles: Why not? Oh. I'm out of money.
Gertrude: Oh, not to worry. We can play for rubs. [lifts up her feet]
Niles: Oh! I'll get my coin collection.

Quote from Niles in Love Bites Dog

Niles: I had an abysmal day. Remember the ad I placed?
Frasier: Oh yes. "Dr. Niles Crane, Jung specialist," blah blah blah.
Niles: Yes. Well, they made a tiny little typo. See if you can find it.
Frasier: "Dr. Niles Crane, Hung specialist." Oh, my!
Niles: The rest they got perfectly. "Servicing individuals, couples, groups. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tell me where it hurts."