Frasier Quotes

Frasier

Frasier

After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors: Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

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Quote from Frasier in Don Juan in Hell (Part 1)

Frasier: Well, Roz, you'll be pleased to know I have come to a decision. Claire it is. So long, Lana.
Roz: Are you sure?
Frasier: Trust me, Roz. The brain is racked, the soul is searched, the window is closed. Claire in, Lana out.

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Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Niles in To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

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Quote from Niles in And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (Part 2)

Daphne: A wedding reception? For you and Mel?
Niles: It's at the equestrian center. It's nothing major. It's very impromptu. Champagne, cake, we pet the horses, we're out of there by eleven.

Quote from Roz in Don't Go Breaking My Heart (Part 3)

Roz: Hi. I know that song.
Frasier: Yes, Mozart Symphony No. 40: Molto Allegro. I just bought this new recording for Niles. It is fantastic. I've never heard such string articulation.
Roz: Oh, I remember what it is. It's that commercial with the singing cats. [singing to the Mozart tune] "If your cat has a yearning for tuna, Da-da-da, Da-da Ocean Buffet, Da-da-da..." One of the cats was wearing a tiny tuxedo.
Frasier: Good! So few cats dress for the symphony anymore.

Quote from Daphne in Deathtrap

Daphne: I used to have the same problem when I was raising show rats.
Niles: You don't mean the nasty, plague-propagating vermin, do you?
Daphne: No. I mean purebred rats. As in Siamese or Himalayan or Husky. My most prized one was an Andalusian Blue named Lady Prissy and she wasn't sick a day in her life. So don't go blaming all rats because of a few bad apples.
Frasier: A few bad apples? Daphne, they spread a disease that nearly wiped out half the population of Europe.
Daphne: Shows what you know. Those were common European brown rats.
Frasier: Yes, but the point is-
Daphne: Oh, no, no, no. I'll sit here and listen to you prattle on about wine and opera. But when it comes to rats, you're in my house.