Frasier Quotes



After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Quote from Niles in Ask Me No Questions

Niles: That reminds me, yesterday at the café I asked you a question which you deftly avoided answering. Do you think Maris and I are meant to be together?
Frasier: Right, well. That's a tough question. Well, you know, perhaps the better question would be, do you think you and Maris are meant to be together?
Niles: Hmmm. I serve you up a question, you clumsily bat it back to me. We've hardly missed our squash game at all.


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Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Martin in The Two Mrs. Cranes

Niles: So, now you've met the whole Crane clan.
Clive: Although, Daphne, I noticed in the phone book your surname still is Moon.
Niles: Oh, that must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.

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Quote from Daphne in Sharing Kirby

Daphne: Isn't this the most romantic thing you've ever seen?
Martin: If you say so.
Daphne: There's no greater passion than that between a woman and a ghost.

Quote from Niles in Here's Looking at You

Niles: You know Brewster Cale? The pompous twit who is the president of our wine club? Well, at our meeting the other night I convinced some of my fellow psychiatrists to play a little prank on him. When he thought he was tasting the Chateau Petrus, he was in fact sipping a Forcas Dupres. You see, we'd switched the labels.
Frasier: What scamps you are!
Niles: Well- Well, there he was, proclaiming the Petrus to be the superior wine and of course none of us could contain our laughter.
Frasier: His face must have turned redder than a "Piechoné Logeavie."
Niles: Well of course, as so often happens, rough house turns to tears. At the end of the evening, Brewster tended his resignation.
Frasier: That must have put a damper on the evening.
Niles: Well, not really. I'm the new president.

Quote from Frasier in Can't Buy Me Love

Frasier: But why would she lie?
Kristina: Because she's twelve, and she's mad at me. She wanted to stay home alone, and I wouldn't let her. I probably would have been better off if I had. God, some shrink you are!
Frasier: Please don't go, child development is not my thing. My specialty is adult relations.
Kristina: Well, you won't be having any of those tonight.
Frasier: Kristina, please don't go, I-
Kristina: Oh, and by the way, I only have one kidney. Guess who has the other?