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‘The Bicycle Thief’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Modern Family: The Bicycle Thief

102. The Bicycle Thief

Aired September 30, 2009

Gloria pushes Jay to spend time with Manny, but they both have places they would rather be. When they start daycare classes with Lily, Mitchell wants Cameron to tone down his personality. Meanwhile, Phil insists Luke is ready for a bicycle of his own.

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] The key to being a good dad? Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don't. You got to hang in there. Because when all is said and done, 90% of being a dad is just showin' up.


Quote from Cameron

Cameron: So, you seen any m-movies lately?
Danielle: Uh, yeah. You know, my husband and I just rented, uh, "Mamma Mia," which I liked, but I don't know that Meryl Streep was the right choice. What did you think?
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Excuse me. Meryl Streep could play Batman and be the right choice. She's perfection. Whether she's divorcing Kramer, whether she's wearing Prada. Don't even get me started on "Sophie's Choice." I get emotional thinking about it. She couldn't forgive herself. [whimpers]

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] Manny thinks his dad is like Superman. The truth? He's a total flake. In fact, the only way he's like Superman Is that they both landed in this country illegally.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: [aside to camera] Manny's father is taking him for a couple of days to Disneyland, so we're gonna go to the wine country!
Jay: We're gonna drink some wine, eat some good food. You know, we would do something like this a lot more often if it wasn't for, you know, Manny.
Gloria: It's good. He keeps us grounded.
Jay: Yeah. Like fog at airport.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: You're supposed to do it with him. It's important that we teach him how to do things for himself. In my culture, men take great pride in doing physical labor.
Jay: I know. That's why I hire people from your culture.
Gloria: [laughs] You're so funny! I'm gonna share that one with my next husband when we're spending all your money.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: [sobbing] She couldn't forgive herself. And... she had to choose. And I think because now I have- We have- We have l- We have Lily, it's so hard to imagine being put in that position. If I had to choose Lily or Mitchell, I mean, I would choose l- I don't know! I just- I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!

Quote from Phil

Phil: So, to teach him a lesson, I took his bike. And then, crazy thing, I put it down for one minute, and someone swiped it from me.
Bike Salesman: Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson.
Phil: [forced laughter] Zinger! So any chance I could get a break on this one?
Bike Salesman: I can throw in a bell.
Phil: Deal.
Bike Salesman: For $5.
Phil: No, sir.
Bike Salesman: So, you want to go for the insurance this time, or is it still for suckers?
Phil: Ha ha! Got me again. Well played, m'lord. I will take some insurance.

Quote from Mitchell

Jay: [aside to camera] What's the key to being a great dad? That's a tough one.
[cut to:]
Cameron: Giving them the freedom to be whatever they want to be.
Mitchell: Right.
Cameron: Whether pilot, a president-
Mitchell: And for us, what we're gonna-
Cameron: Of a company or of a country.
Mitchell: Patience.

Quote from Phil

[to camera, in answer to the question "What's the key to being a great dad?"]
Phil: Well, be their buddy.
Claire: That's your answer?
Phil: And stay in school.
Claire: No.
Phil: And don't do drugs.
Claire: No!
Phil: Just give me the answer.
Claire: Oh, god.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down and do what a man's gotta do. And if the old lady don't like it... Honey? That's too damn bad.

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