Everybody Hates Chris Quotes

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris is a fictional account of Chris Rock's teenage years in Brooklyn in the 1980s. The show follows Chris, his parents Julius and Rochelle, and siblings Drew and Tonya, as they move to Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy) where Chris starts at a majority-White school.

Starring: Tyler James Williams, Terry Crews, Tichina Arnold, Tequan Richmond, Imani Hakim, Vincent Martella, Chris Rock.
Recurring Actors: Travis T. Flory, Jacqueline Mazarella, Kevontay Jackson, Ernest Thomas, Jeris Poindexter, Michel Estime, Antonio Fargas, Jackee Harry, Todd Bridges, J.B. Smoove, Earthquake, Tony Rock.
Original Run: 2005-2009.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Elections

Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and found out I lost $10. And Vanessa, my so-called friend, would only curl half my hair. Did you see my money laying around here somewhere?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Here's how that sounded to my father.
[fantasy:]
Rochelle: I went to the beauty parlor and discovered that I lost my $10. [garbled babbling] Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa.
[reality:]
Julius: You lost $10? That's $10 worth of dollars.

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Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Sausage

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always worked two jobs, which made my mother so comfortable, she'd quit her job over anything.
[flashback to Rochelle as a waitress:]
Woman: Check, please?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And I mean anything.
Rochelle: Now, do I look like I have your check? All that hollering at people. I don't need this. My husband has two jobs. I don't need to be here right now.
[flashback to Rochelle as a receptionist:]
Man: Hold my calls.
Rochelle: Who are you hollering at? "Hold my calls." Hold your own damn call! I do not need this! My man has two jobs!

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates the Pilot

Julius: I know you're not gonna threw that away. Eat that. That's 30 cents worth of oatmeal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always knew what everything costs.
[montage:]
Julius: [retrieving a chicken wing from the trash] That's $1.09 in the trash.
Julius: [next to a tray of burnt biscuits] That's $2 on fire.
Julius: That's 49 cents of spilled milk dripping all over my table. Somebody's gonna drink this milk.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Jerome in Everybody Hates the Car

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I soon found out that buying a used car wasn't easy. You had to watch out for scams.
Dealer: $300? That car's gone. But we got this one. Only $15,000. $300 down, $300 a month for 300 months.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And some deals were just too good to be true.
Jerome: That's right, little dude. This car is brand-new. And I'm gonna let you have it for only $300.
Man: Hey, fool! Get off my new car!
Jerome: All right, all right.

Quote from Drew in Everybody Hates the First Kiss

Mr. Omar: Oh, hey, hey! Drew, Drew. You got, uh, five dollars I could borrow?
Drew: I don't loan money.
Mr. Omar: Come on. You know I'm good for it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew inherited one quality from my father: he was a tightwad, and he saved every penny he got, no matter how he got it.
[flashback: Drew wakes up in the middle of the night, removes a dollar bill from under the pillow and places it in his wallet. As he smiles, he reveals a missing front tooth.]

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Father's Day

Julius: It's a receipt. He paid the electric bill.
Rochelle: Oh, baby, that is so...
Chris: When I asked you if I could get you anything for Father's Day, you said I could help you knock out a bill. That was the only one I could afford.
Julius: Thanks, son.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father never really cared much about presents, but giving him a reason to smile was the best thing I could ever do for him.
Julius: This is the best gift I ever got. I'll remember this forever.
Chris: Happy Father's Day.
Julius: I'm proud of you, Chris. Becoming more of a man every day.
Chris: Thanks, Dad.
Julius: You know, I was thinking, it might be a good idea if you get a job and start paying a bill every month.