Frank Dunphy Quotes Page 1 of 4

Quote from Legacy

Frank: You know, your mother and I came here every Sunday for 44 years.
Phil: You miss her, don't you?
Frank: It comes and goes. Fourth of July is rough.
Phil: Really? I didn't realize she was so patriotic.
Frank: Well, it's that hot dog eating contest they have on TV. You know, I always thought that your mother could have been a competitive eater. No food ever expired in our house. She'd see that last day pop up on a pound of bacon or a gallon of milk, and down it went. It was personal for her.

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Quote from Legacy

Phil: So, Dad, I, uh, I w... I wanted to ask you...
Frank: Oh, boy. No serious talk, okay? Yes, I'm taking all my million pills. You can come over and press my stomach. I'm starting to feel like a bean bag chair.

Quote from Legacy

Phil: This takes me to my next question. Um... did you and Mom ever... ever want a-a-another child?
Frank: Well, I suppose all parents wonder how things would have changed if they had a different child.
Phil: I-I didn't... didn't mean a different one. I-I mean an additional one.
Frank: Why do you ask?
Phil: Well, 'cause if you'd had another kid, maybe... maybe he'd have taken over the business and... and you wouldn't have had to sell. I always... I always felt kind of bad that I didn't.
Frank: The answer is no, Phil. Never. Because... Well, you did take over the family business, didn't you? Keeping life light, making it fun for everybody.
Phil: I learned from the best.

Quote from Frank's Wedding

Frank: Maybe I do overdo it. I remember your mother was really ticked off at me at your baptism when I kept pretending the holy water was boiling. [Phil laughs] Ouch! Ouch! Okay, we don't have to do anything crazy today. Don't worry about it.
Phil: Thanks, Pops.
Frank: But, wait, you're still gonna do my funeral the way we talked about, right?
Phil: That recording of you banging on that piece of wood screaming, "Let me out of here!"
Frank: [laughs] It's a real shame I'm gonna miss that.

Quote from Undeck the Halls

Phil: [imitates static on video chat] Come in, Florida. Over. Mom? Dad?
Frank Dunphy: Hello, Philip.
All: Merry Christmas Eve!
Frank Dunphy: Merry Christmas Eve!
Phil: A little- Little lower, Dad.
Frank Dunphy: [deep voice] Merry Christmas Eve!

Quote from Travels with Scout

Phil: [answering phone] Honeydew! What's up?
Claire: Guess who's here. Your dad! He drove his R.V. All the way up from Cocoa Beach.
Frank Dunphy: Hey, Son, working hard? He's gonna say "Hardly working."
Phil: I meant to tell you he was driving out.
Frank Dunphy: Did he say it?
Claire: Oh, yeah.
Frank Dunphy: Good kid.

Quote from Travels with Scout

Frank Dunphy: Cameron, so good to see you again. Now that is a shirt.
Cameron: Oh, well, thank you, Frank. I get 'em online. I'll send you a link.
Frank Dunphy: Oh, well, at home, I smoke sausages. I'll send you a link.

Quote from Travels with Scout

Phil: Dad?
Frank Dunphy: Come on in! It's open! Hey! Ah, don't tell me. You need a cup of sugar.
Phil: [chuckles] Nah. Just, uh- I was just wondering, I don't know, uh- Anything on the old noodle?
Frank Dunphy: Other than a bad toupee? I'm kidding, of course. This is my real hair.

Quote from Travels with Scout

Frank Dunphy: Good news, you two. You're getting your driveway back. I'm hitting the open road in the morning.
Claire: Oh, already?
Frank Dunphy: Yeah.
Phil: Anxious to get home and see Mom, huh?
Frank Dunphy: No, I'm just gonna drive wherever the wind blows me, which is usually into the next lane.
Alex: Can we get some sodas, Grandpa?
Frank Dunphy: Okay, but just one. I'm driving.

Quote from Travels with Scout

Frank Dunphy: It's nothing.
Phil: Oh, it's nothing? Nothing to do with Mom?
Frank Dunphy: No! Well, yeah. I've fallen in love.
Phil: Oh, my God. Who is she?
Frank Dunphy: He!
Phil: What?
Frank Dunphy: It's that little guy right over there. [to Scout] Come on over here. Come on. Come on. There you go. Ah, look at him. Driving across country, this little bastard nuzzled his way right into my heart, didn't ya?
Phil: So this is just about you not wanting to leave the dog? Well, you should tell Mom.
Frank Dunphy: Those three days on the road with him were the happiest of my life.
Phil: You should leave that part out.

Quote from Travels with Scout

Jay: Didn't expect to find you here.
Frank Dunphy: Well, listen, when my granddaughter's boyfriend's band plays an under-21 club with my daughter-in-law's brother's gay partner, I show up. That's just how I was raised.
Jay: I don't think you met my wife, Gloria.
Gloria: Hola.
Frank Dunphy: Oh, it's a pleasure. You are a lovely woman.
Gloria: You must be Frank.
Frank Dunphy: Okay, then, you are hotter than a Las Vegas sidewalk on the Fourth of July. Did I go too far?
Jay: Not you, Frank. No.

Quote from The Wow Factor

Phil: [aside to camera] I didn't need a torx screwdriver. I've always wanted one, though. But I needed them out of the house, so I could call a guy.
[cut to:]
Phil: Dad, help me.
Frank: [on video chat] Are we gonna do that thing again where you try on different outfits like in "Pretty Woman"?

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