Shelley Long Quotes

Find quotes from 2 of Shelley Long's TV roles.

  • Diane Chambers - Cheers Diane Chambers - Cheers

    Cheers is a Boston bar where "everybody knows your name", run by former baseball player and recovering alcoholic Sam Malone.

    Main Character 740 quotes

  • Dede - Modern Family Dede - Modern Family

    Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

    Recurring Character 37 quotes

Cheers: Diane Chambers Quotes

Quote from Sam's Women

Diane: Sam, do yourself a favor. Go back to your tootsies and your rat parts. I'd hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account.
Sam: Hey, hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you saying that I'm too dumb to date smart women?
Diane: I'm saying that it would be very difficult for you. A really intelligent woman would see your line of BS a mile away.
Sam: You think so?
Diane: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Sam: You know, well, I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date.
Diane: On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say... Phew.


Quote from No Help Wanted

Diane: Sam, now, it's true, hiring Norman has emotional overtones. But without emotions, the mind becomes a stagnant pond. And let's face it, in your case, we're not exactly dealing with white water rapids in the first place.

Quote from Power Play

Diane: I am sorry that you're all so cynical that you can't accept Sam and me. Well, it doesn't bother us. We believe in us, right, Sam?
Sam: Yeah, you bet. It's going to be great. I may have to work harder on this one, but it's going to be worth it.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: You're welcome.
Diane: Now, if you will excuse us, we are going to go out and begin our lives together. There's more to heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your beer mugs.

Modern Family: Dede Quotes

Quote from The Incident

Mitchell: Mom. Mom, what are you doing to her legs?
Dede: Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona. Cameron, you should try it. [Cameron puts down scone]
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Mitchell's mother has a problem... with me. Last Christmas, for example, she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer. So, to recap, I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, and she gave me a hint.

Quote from Sarge & Pea

Dede: Well, I don't know what you're doing, but you look great.
Jay: And you look great, too. Oh, look, there's no line at the bar. How about a Rob Roy for old time's sake?
Dede: Oh, you remembered, Sarge. [to Mitchell] That was the only drink I could keep down when I was pregnant.

Quote from Good Grief

Dede: [on voicemail ]Hey, honey. It's Mom. I just want to apologize. I should not have lost my temper. Shaman Phoenix Feather's family-planning advice may not be for everyone, and you just want to keep your daughters safe. I get it. I have a daughter of my own, and I know how much she means to me. Anyway, I'm sorry. I love you, and I always will.
Claire: [voice breaking] I love you, too, Mom.
Dede: Also, I saw your new photo on social media. Are you part of some protest where you're not allowed to wash your hair? Or are you just trying to be... [beep]
Claire: I'm gonna listen to that later.